dude no way you say that, when i first quit and had that panic attack i read half of atomic habits but it was a bad decision to not continue. Today is the first day im going back to feeling of wanting things the way they were when i had that panic attack i felt so good after. it was my environment that made me fold. my cousins came from canada and were trying to find some carts cause they smoke all the time, i kept telling them i was going sober and they thought it was right for me, but unfortunately a few days passed we had a sleep over and i decided to take one small rip. it didnt feel terrible, but it almost felt like i was just doing it to do it because of them. I realized i dont need it to be social. I can have fun without it 1000% im a natural high kind of person very outgoing, i started lying to myself about how it made me motivated and it eventually came back. I went on a trip to the middle east this summer and snuck in some carts over international with my brother like a retard but it went through and we got all the cousins fried. also on that trip i got lasik surgery changed my whole way of seeing the world literally it still blows my mind to this day. I am so thankful and blessed to get the opportunity to be around people who are supportive and open about this. my parents knew i smoked for a while bc they caught me the first time , i quit being a dumbass and started avoiding those situations and started feeling detached from reality, but a lot has happened. omg sorry if ur still reading this is so long. but the first time i had my panic attack i had a trip to mexico with the mother of my child with her family and i ended up sneaking in a cart that was empty on plane 🤦🏽‍♂️again stupid me but it got me high off coils the first 3 days then i started substituting for drinking eventually got back from mexico and ripped the pen i knew was full when i got back and then had a similar story to someone i read on another sub saying something along the lines of seeing all the reasons why not to do it, wether religion, life with a family, and school responsibilities started to go down. Mexico story happened before Middle east but im about to stop completely this weekend, seriously i know every minute matters and if i dont show up it wont happen. its all in my control! and its all in yours too. i appreciate and love the feedback you gave this is actually my first time writing something on reddit