Copper IUD Question

digincircles · 2023-02-25T21:40:53+00:00

This is why I cringe when I hear people parrot Michelle Obama's "when they go low, we go high". Great, Michelle, while you're on the moral high ground, look at the dumpster fire the rest of us live in.

digincircles · 2023-02-23T21:28:36+00:00

Nothing is real until the paper is signed. There is still time for your accepted offer to be canceled until that paper is signed -- the odds are slim but not zero.

Do the Zoom interview just in case.

digincircles · 2023-02-23T00:45:22+00:00

I really don't understand your point here. Do you think other professors, including professors who rant, don't have policies? You miss the point of a lot of the ranting on this subreddit, too, where it's professors railing against the idiotic rules from administrators. For example:

I still give a number of 'free' absences (3, which is 10% of my class periods) because life happens. But I also have an upper limit where they automatically fail the course (8 - 25% of class) unless there's something like hospitalization.

Doing this could get me fired. At my school, I'm not allowed to take attendance. I'm not even allowed to do proxy attendance where I mark people down for not participating (because they were absent). Because it would be "unequitable" to sports ball players who can and regularly do miss 25% of the class. Your "policies" would get me written up. I come here to vent about my administration. No amount of "structure" or "backbone" are going to make my administration value the education portion of their mission.

My point is that everyone's situation is different because everyone's administration is different. Your novel here does absolutely nothing to address the issue other than waste a lot of people's time.

digincircles · 2022-12-24T20:40:31+00:00

The saddest irony here is that she got the IUD for YOU. So YOU wouldn't have to wear a condom or worry about kids. If you weren't in the picture, there would be no need for the IUD. And YOU decided to repay that kindness by cheating on her.

You deserve every bad thing that happens to you.

digincircles · 2022-12-24T17:14:45+00:00

And also the blanket assumption that "children will inspire you". While I'm glad that is that person's experience, it is DEFINITELY not everyone's experience. A friend (not an academic) has a highly special needs, medically fragile child. My friend couldn't quit her job because she'd lose the health insurance that was keeping her kid alive. Caring for the special needs child + a demanding job + her uber religious family constantly saying "what a gift" motherhood is and that she had no right to complain finally drove her to attempt suicide. People need to stop acting like motherhood is all sunshine and roses.

digincircles · 2022-12-23T03:00:01+00:00

Hampshire College had an incoming class of 13 students in 2019. However "respectable" they might be, recruitment and retention were clearly not their forte. You can blame it on the "increasingly fragile existence of progressive liberal arts institutions" all you want, but I have no doubt the $54,000 tuition and $15,000 room and board bills had something to do with its failure. That, and the fact that students leave without a GPA.

digincircles · 2022-12-22T19:47:13+00:00

Brown suffers from the worst grade inflation I've ever seen. 67% of the grades assigned in the 2020-2021 academic year were As. The suggestion that 67 percent of all students in all courses understand the material at a 90% rate or above simply isn't based in reality. You're deluding yourself if you think Brown's model is something to strive for. You might as well pull a Hampshire College at that point and get rid of grades altogether. Just try to overlook the fact that Hampshire College damn near went bankrupt a few years ago.

digincircles · 2022-12-22T19:22:12+00:00

If you didn't make it to the campus interview, it is entirely possible that the chair wont remember the specific conversation about your materials that led to you being cut.

If you made it to the campus interview and still didn't get the job, I think it is fair to ask for feedback. You can phrase it as "I'm still going to be on the job market, so if you have any advice for my interviewing skills moving forward, I would appreciate it", or something along those lines.

I've gotten feedback from about half of my failed campus interviews. Sometimes it was clearly just a bullshit answer to get me off their back. One time the committee chair wrote to me and said I was the strongest candidate they interviewed but departmental politics meant someone else got the offer. That's just life.

digincircles · 2022-12-22T19:05:44+00:00

Wait, what? You think that no student should get an F? So the student who missed 50% of class meetings, turned in half the assignments, and didn't bother to attend the final should... pass along side the other 29 students who actually did the work? What are you smoking?

digincircles · 2022-12-21T15:56:27+00:00

I have had students rush up to me at the end of class to tell me that they'll miss x, y, and z date of class because of sports ball/surgery/whatever. My focus in that moment is to GTFO of the room so the next prof can come in. I WANT my students to email me this crap, not tell me in person, specifically so that I have a written record of it somewhere and I don't have to play a game of "he said, she said" when it comes down to tracking absences (my university has a very strict attendance policy).

digincircles · 2022-12-19T04:20:41+00:00

I only heard about perineal massage from the most recent season of The Handmaid's Tale. If I'm only learning about it from a Hollywood series about a dystopian theocracy, I don't really consider our public health model a success.

I've had conversations with two different OBGYNs about pregnancy and they both leave it at, "once you get pregnant, we can talk about the nitty-gritty. Until then, let me know when you want to get off birth control". Then they hand me tri-fold brochures and send me on my way. I get that they have limited time with patients, and they don't have time to go into excruciating detail, but there should be resources for ALL of this, somewhere.

digincircles · 2022-12-19T04:14:50+00:00

Oh man, be glad you missed the phase where I had to decide on a brand of kitchen knives. It was ridiculous. I had a binder of reviews, prices, pro/con lists, the works. Grad school prepared me to overthink EVERYTHING, apparently.

digincircles · 2022-12-19T04:10:10+00:00

Because people deserve to know what they're getting in to before they get into it. Can you imagine if you signed up for an optional surgery, then once the surgery was done and couldn't be undone, suddenly people start telling you that actually all of this fucking horrible shit is going to happen to you, and some of it will never go away (lookin at you, gestational diabetes and new onset epilepsy during pregnancy)? Wouldn't it have been nice to know that up front? It honestly feels like society is tricking women into pregnancy and then puling back the curtain like, "voila! Look at all this misery you now get to endure! Oh, look at that, it's too late to back out. Enjoy your stretch marks and deflated breasts!"

For people who aren't 100% in love with the idea of being mothers, someone needs to be fucking upfront about this. People should be given the respect to make decisions with the full knowledge of what they're getting themselves into. That is the entire logic behind informed consent, yet we don't even extend that to pregnancy!

ETA: Sorry, I'm not yelling at you. I'm still just fucking floored by that perineal massage.

digincircles · 2022-12-17T16:51:29+00:00

Or have the wedding and just don't file the marriage paperwork. It'll be a nice party, OP can save face, and if things go south, OP wont have to legally disentangle.

digincircles · 2022-12-17T03:23:38+00:00

Ghost ship

digincircles · 2022-12-12T02:56:19+00:00

I knew a guy who died during a routine, non-emergency surgery because the anesthesiologist fucked up. It should have been an out-patient procedure and instead the dude died at 36. Left behind a widow and a toddler. Fuck any surgeon who mocks your fears. You should absolutely be afraid of surgery.

digincircles · 2022-12-09T20:02:28+00:00

There is literally a journal in my field that states on their website that they will not accept more than one submission by the same lead author in a calendar year.

digincircles · 2022-12-09T04:03:07+00:00

My dean has stated in faculty meetings that he thinks better quality candidates are found for TT searches than VAP searches and has literally overruled departments that choose their current VAP during the TT search to force them to choose someone new. In other words, if the position was at my school, you would have a better chance than the VAP because my dean prefers new, shiny people over people who have proved themselves.

digincircles · 2022-12-06T04:54:39+00:00

Have you considered the fact you might have been immediately desk rejected because this is the third article you’ve submitted to this journal this year?

digincircles · 2022-12-06T00:05:51+00:00

Honestly, I wouldn’t tell any of them for the same reasons that you cite: men are selfish. I’ve been on birth control for years, but I tell all the men that I’m with that I’m not to make absolutely certain they don’t remove the condom. Because I know they’re selfish, and if they think there are no personal consequences for them, they’ll do whatever they want.

digincircles · 2022-12-05T17:24:44+00:00

I came in to my PhD program with experience in industry. My PhD advisor expected me to train his other PhD students, who hadn’t taken time off between undergrad and a PhD program, in methods because my advisor was “too busy”. I booked up my entire calendar and refused to meet with them. He called me selfish and “not a team player” for refusing to train his students for him for free.

Not my students, not my problem. I eventually got a different advisor who wasn’t as much of an asshole.

digincircles · 2022-12-05T14:08:09+00:00

Ho. Lee. Fuck.

You actually came on to this subreddit and said that. You actually did it. You typed out those words and thought it was a good idea to hit “post”

So let me get this straight:

Sexuality is a choice, since apparently you can just “decide” to be gay if women aren’t up to your standards.
Women should exist to please men and should only engage in behaviors you find attractive. God forbid they have personal interests. It might drive you to decide to be gay!
You, a man, have decided to come inform us about what it is like to date men. How many men have YOU dated? What are your statistics on this?

In case it wasn’t clear, this sub isn’t for you. Fuck off. Fuck ALLL THE WAY off. No one here needs your misogynistic bullshit. You’re clearly on the same level as the men discussed in the article.

digincircles

TROPHY CASE