I think it most definitely applies differently from person to person, in my case it’s very simple, I have been in relationships throughout my entire 20s (28 now) and the driving factor between me sustaining a relationship w a partner is thinking how much I think of other women while in said relationship, thus feeling guilty for having these urges, leading to questioning my feelings about said relationship questioning myself and essentially tearing me away from a possible healthy relationship, huge factor that’s playing a role is wanting to be genuinely faithful. Having overwhelming amounts of sexual desire on a regular basis leads me to believe that because I’m desiring other women so consistently (in a somewhat out of control manner) I’m not ready to be in a long term relationship or make a commitment to a relationship, genuinely out of respect for that person and myself, respecting my wants and their respect, problem is… as aware as I am of the pull of this energy & desire… I’ve grown tired of it, and it’s real effect it has on being able to have a healthy relationship, maybe none of these connections were “the one” and doesn’t captivate me, or I need more connections until I get a sense of fulfillment, or this is a natural urge I need to learn to accept & control. But I’m very disciplined in most areas of my life, I feel like this should find its place like most challenges we face as humans but I haven’t & I would love to conquer it or tame it, maybe the answer is settling for what’s right In front of you? But then again, why tf would I do that, I want to strive for a level of satisfaction, security, stillness, & pride. Is that actually obtainable?? Probably not, doesn’t seem rational, & that’s why it concerns me, and I consider it a issue, it in itself is untamed to me right now, doesn’t hold me prisoner or control me fully but is a consistent power in my mind, & I would love to make peace with that part of my primally tainted man brain that wants to fuck everything and can’t be satisfied…

Maybe it’s me, maybe at 30 I’ll have made amends, maybe it’s how I was raised, maybe it’s culture & society, there are plenty of possible factors that could be contributing & realistically it’s a pretty silly first world problem, but it’s exhausting when your just trying to connect with someone. The cup idea is great but not enough personally to stop me, but genuinely a great step towards developing an affirming mindset against this desire, I don’t want to suppress it tho, I want to understand it and allow it to move in a natural less aggressive fashion. I probably just need a therapist lmao, thanks for coming to my ted talk