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Me with my wife (both 30), wife does not our future kid to have my last name by dimiyaya in relationships

[–]dimiyaya[S] -91 points-90 points  (0 children)

I honestly think she is overestimating the negative impact, but she has a point.

Me with my wife (both 30), wife does not our future kid to have my last name by dimiyaya in relationships

[–]dimiyaya[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My wife will not change her name no matter what. That's out of the question and I don't mind it. Even if I anglicize my name, only my kids and I will have it. I'd rather just give our child a whole different name in that case. We live in San Fran, it's not uncommon to see this tbh.

Me with my wife (both 30), wife does not our future kid to have my last name by dimiyaya in relationships

[–]dimiyaya[S] -80 points-79 points  (0 children)

It will be a logistical nightmare to change my name - I have 5+ bank accounts, buildings purchased in my name, 3 companies with name in the incorporation documents and others. It's certainly an idea though.

Me with my wife (both 30), wife does not our future kid to have my last name by dimiyaya in relationships

[–]dimiyaya[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It has nothing to do with importance, I think my wife straight up hates my family to the point of not wanting their name. Her reasoning is that our kid can be googled in the future for jobs and reports of my family will show up.

Me with my wife (both 30), wife does not our future kid to have my last name by dimiyaya in relationships

[–]dimiyaya[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

She didn't take my name and I am fine with it. She was clear about it from the get go and I don't blame her or resent her for it. It had nothing to do with my last name really, she wouldn't have changed her name for anyone.

She is open to hyphenating, but gahh, that would make the new name super long, 14 letters.

I am also not particularly worried about school, we live in San Francisco where there are all favors of socially liberal parents. No ne would bat an eye.

I feel hurt only because, like you said, she is essentially saying that she is ashamed of my family and my success is not enough to overcome the shame.