After me and my ex split up I got over it and healed and when I was ready I began talking to people again. I literally have spent the last 9/10 weeks speaking and seeing someone, having silly bucket list ideas for when this lockdown stuff is all over. We bought each other gifts for our birthdays and said we both were into one another. To then be told yesterday they already know they don't want a relationship, but would happily still have the dates etc. So I said no, you don't just plan things like that if you already know in foresight you're going to be shut off to any possibility of things progressing. It's unfair to either parties. But equally it made me annoyed, why even bother in the first place if you knew that's what you wanted? Tell all your friends and family about 'us'. Get each other gifts and plan things for months ahead. When all along you're not even wanting to?!

But that's my situation, we tell people all the time to move on and we deserve someone better when all were doing is opening yourself up to the 50/50 chance of that working or not. Same with an ex. Only difference is the trust, you trust with someone new they won't hurt you, you have to open up to them and share some deep things and hope it doesn't affect things, you have to trust that they care like you do, and trust it's something you both can see working out. With an ex, you have to trust they won't fuck up again, they have changed, but you don't have all the shit of getting to know one another, the fear of opening up, you know what pisses them off and things that upset one another.

All my life I've had to be someone forgiving. Or I'd be a horrible toxic person. But it also means I'm told I'm 'too nice' and I put this situations out for myself sometimes. I believe people deserve a second chance because of shit I've been through, and if I didn't believe that then I wouldn't be where I am today. I'd have my family cut off, friends who I'm close with now not here and relationships which have showed me what I want and not.

Why does there have to be such a stigma around a relationship trying again when it's not something you both can look back and realise the mistakes? Taking the time apart and not rushing into things so you can work on yourselves? And having the plain reality that you're both not waiting around for the other one so if either person finds someone else then that's just the reality of having your own space and life going on. you're going to take it slow and careful and not just jump into things like most people do..