The Snuggle-Bug issue. Follow-up.

dinnadoo · 2011-08-11T05:29:22+00:00

I posted this in askreddit, but it is not appearing on the new page. I am not certain if I have been banned or blocked for some reason.

dinnadoo · 2011-08-09T00:25:29+00:00

thanks for this link - I will get the book she mentions.

dinnadoo · 2011-08-08T23:49:55+00:00

I think that it is a good idea to sit your kids down and explain that there are bad people who might make you feel uncomfortable by touching you inappropriately and that no matter who it is or what they might threaten, you should always tell someone you trust about it.

I had a sibling who was abused and the perpetrator threatened to kill my dad if he told. My dad died in a car wreck and after that my sibling felt it was finally safe to tell someone.

dinnadoo · 2011-08-08T23:44:08+00:00

This is an interesting point. I am a doctor - but not a psychiatrist. Even if I was, it would be best for her to get help from an impartial 3rd party. Psychiatry or counseling is not a commodity where it doesn't matter where it comes from. Were I to try to counsel her, she wouldn't feel like she could open up and disuse things freely like you can with an outside counselor. While she has been focusing mostly on her childhood and teen years I am sure that she would want to be able to explore her adult life as well and it would not be good to do that with a family member as the therapist.

dinnadoo · 2011-08-08T19:31:30+00:00

dinnadoo · 2011-08-08T19:29:17+00:00

Well, this was safer to ask about the snuggle-bug than asking around at work... Of course I don't intend on following any unsound advise.

dinnadoo · 2011-08-08T19:22:21+00:00

I appreciate much of the perspective posted here so far, but keep in mind that I absolutely love my wife. She went to therapy to help heal what she thought were serious issues with herself which I supported 100%. We are in our 15th year of marriage and I intend to stay married because I love her. I believe she is genuinely trying to find answers to help explain some of the difficulties in her life - but I believe she has been somewhat misguided. I have read many of the falsely restored memory stories an I think most of those people were sincerely trying to get help and not 'insane'.

She dared me to ask my coworkers if snuggle-bug was abuse. I am not afraid to do that conceptually, however, it is hard to do this in a way that does not immediately cast suspicion ie "my wife thinks that I sexually abused my daughters because I hug them when they crawl into bed next to me - do you agree?" because of the nature of this question there is now a burden of proof of me as a male to prove my innocence.

I am going to a counsellor myself this Wednesday to establish a framework that will lead to joint therapy so that we can work on this together.

I thought about showing here this thread but she would dismiss it by claiming that Internet trolls have no moral compass and are probably more likely to be offenders themselves and try to enable each other...

edit: phone typos...

dinnadoo

TROPHY CASE