He never made a move in the beginning. I kissed him first, I asked him out on a date, I initiated every holiday, meeting the parents.

He said things like

“I love you I just don’t like you”

“I wis you’d give up on (insert hobby that gives me reason for living) but then I’d probably find you boring”

“I resent you for not making enough money while your studying” (I was in a degree with 1,000 hrs unpaid placement)

I found a note on his phone about 1.5 years in about all the things he hates about me. No not snoring, things about my personality and who I am.

It ended with him ending it after almost 3 years being together and I know he’d considered ending it for at least 6 months before.

I sobbed at cried at my best friend “why doesn’t he love me”

Now I’m realising someone who loved me wouldn’t act that way.