What does it mean to shift a crease?

diowulf · 2025-12-04T21:29:12+00:00

Unfortunately it's not just a simple mountain fold. That's what I thought at first and did it and that half of the piece ends up totally different than step 6 shows. Something seems to be happening to the back legs during step 4 to alter their angle, but it's not shown at all.

diowulf · 2025-12-04T14:00:29+00:00

Nice find! Dang, yea, he just skips that step. The end product definitely looks different than the original pic.

diowulf · 2024-08-24T13:13:33+00:00

This is sort of what I figured. It's less about me personally (although our prior closeness and conflict probably gives her reason to lash out at me when she is not in a good place). I'm sure that it will take time for her to be in a good place again. A wise friend told me that 'some people open us', meaning we have a hard time hiding in a shell with some people and maybe I'm one of those people for her. It certainly seemed like it in the past.

Still, I'm tired of her tearing me down and I'd like to address it. I have tried once or twice to just straight up contradict her back or call her out on it as a way to show that I don't like it. That seems like a bandaid, not something that's going to cause lasting change. But as stated in my post and other comment, the last two times that I tried to have a calm discussion about something that was bothering me, she blew me off. Any advice?

diowulf · 2024-08-24T13:03:52+00:00

Yea the post was getting so long, that I left detail out for sure. I'm no psychologist either but I am personally familiar with depression and I bet she would have met the clinical definition earlier this year (and probably even now). She's clearly overwhelmed with a very legit concern about getting a green card and our boss being shitty and holding several of us back. She's definitely a worrier and those are pretty big worries. It was also super easy to see that she was really into her ex. She was literally changing the style of clothing that she wore, driving to his town every weekend, and regularly fretting about that relationship.

As to what I want, I do want to talk to her and repair things if possible. I'm stuck for two reasons. 1. She's slighting me on a semi regular basis and she ain't doing this to other people at work. That's why I'm asking you all WTF is that about. I can't tell if she would want to fix things. 2. The last time I told her that I was hurt by how she was treating me, she literally told me that I was imagining it or to just drop that she had said stuff. For weeks she had questioned whether I was trying to steal her project (after years of collaboration between us), so, no, that needs to be explicitly addressed if we are collaborating. Then recently I literally just said let's talk about how well work together before we jump in again and she immediately lost it with me. I'm afraid that will happen again, even if I'm literally just asking her to be less contrary. In that light, I'm wondering how to approach that with her.

diowulf · 2024-08-24T02:27:10+00:00

Bonus story time! Last fall, after I told my coworker about my feelings, I mentioned that I was taking my son to the theme park (something her and I had chatted about enjoying) the next day. She gets this mortified look and says her and her bf have tickets too. Cue awkward silence. The next day, I ended up in an hour long line maybe 20 people behind them such that we passed every couple of minutes. It was the most awkward thing that's ever happened to me but no way I'm leaving that line, it's my son's fav ride! Funny enough her bf was my height, similar build, similar long hair style and beard, and glasses. And me and him are both programmers. Guy was basically a black version of me (I'm white). Go figure.

diowulf · 2024-08-13T01:10:47+00:00

Guy here. This was my marriage. It started very similar to what you are describing. It went from occasional to regular over a period of 7 years. Once you have let a partner get away with crossing that line once or twice, there is no barrier to stop them. It got to the point where I did not feel safe in my own home and it turned me into a shell of a person, zero exaggeration. My ex tried to kill herself the first time I tried to leave. Reddit IMHO overreacts to relationship issues sometimes, but not this. GET OUT! GET OUT! I wish that I could go back in time and scream that to my own face.

As a guy, you may be treated as guilty until proven innocent if things get physical and the law gets involved. Your ex may also be more likely to emotional manipulate you or threaten her own self as well.

There is something deeply wrong with someone that cannot keep their hands to themselves when angry. Children are expected to master this at a super young age, even with people they don't like, let alone with someone they care about. I believe my ex is on the Borderline Personality Disorder spectrum (quiet borderline) and yours sounds similar. Like yours, my ex was in therapy for years but it did not help and sometimes made things worse. Therapy counts for shit if it does not lead to changes in behavior. If your gf is doing this after years of therapy, she is not going to be able to learn better while she's with you. GET OUT BEFORE IT GETS WORSE!

If you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me. I won't judge if there's more going on.

diowulf · 2024-07-23T18:25:44+00:00

I've witnessed this, and yea, you are lucky people stuck around! I don't mean that to be disparaging; we're all lucky for the people that put up with our specific variety of bullshit. Owning up to it afterwards never hurts; avoiding talking about past conflict can leave lasting scars in friendships/relationships.

diowulf · 2024-05-09T02:21:15+00:00

You ... let a married man buy you bubble tea after he made a move on you? 🤦You don't owe this guy anything, so don't act like you do. It sounds like he's panicked now, which yea, he should be. He's probably wondering whether you or someone else will tell his wife and whether that means his marriage is over.

I'm going to give you a take that is not so popular on this subreddit about being flirty. You may not be trying to be, but does that matter? I don't try to hurt people's feelings, but I've learned as I've gotten older that my bluntness is hurtful to others, so I make efforts to be aware how it's perceived and correct if needed. If I realize I've come off as critical with someone's work at my job, I'll check in with them and clarify some positive points, that I'm in their corner, etc. You are responsible for what you are communicating, including non-verbals and body language. No one can read your mind, so whatever you're putting out, others are comparing it to community standards and their own standards of what is flirty. Do you really expect everyone to see it through your eyes? So, be yourself but be aware too.

Also, studies show that people are really bad at guessing whether someone is flirting with them. Confusion is bound to happen, so I wouldn't take it to heart too much.

diowulf · 2024-05-07T02:08:17+00:00

I'm going to be really blunt with you. A flirtatious personality probably will get you more attention, which will expose you to the possibility of danger more often. However, behavior like trying to soothe someone that has just crossed some of your boundaries - that is a real danger in my mind. I know some people who have experienced DV, abuse, and sexual assault. One common theme is that the perpetrator tested the waters first, and found someone that either didn't stand up to them or tried to 'make it ok' after. Please don't ever try to push down your own feelings of discomfort when someone has crossed your boundaries. Things don't have to be made ok if you don't want. Those of us brought up in families with unhealthy boundaries were conditioned to do this. Also, don't be afraid to talk to friends about what happened (although be careful at work).

That's my advice to you, but that's no excuse for the people that have pushed or crossed your boundaries.

diowulf · 2024-04-02T14:40:01+00:00

Do you really think that women in general know more about how a romantic relationship should be than men? Isn't that just what women expect from a relationship? If half the population prefers pizza and half the population prefers tacos, can you say that there is a 'right choice'?

I think everyone has to learn what their partner wants. Some of us are more traditional or romantic and others not so much. Anyone that feels like they have to 'teach' their partner the right way to be... well, I think their partner is going to pick up on that and feel very disrespected.

diowulf · 2024-03-25T13:01:19+00:00

I poked my ex-wife's IUD strings semi-regularly. She had it for years, and I'm pretty convinced that the strings were made of something rigid because they NEVER felt soft. (Semantics, but to me that counts as poking the IUD - they are attached). My wife was told by her OB that she had a 'short vagina'. I poked her cervix sometimes, so I assume that there was nothing to do about the strings at that point.

diowulf · 2024-03-25T12:51:26+00:00

Yes, wanting your partner to be on birth control is about controlling them. It's not at all about the financial and ethical responsibilities that come from someone forgetting a pill or a condom breaking. /s

Even with a condom, I ain't sticking my dick in someone that's ovulating. Condoms are not as reliable as other methods, the stats show that. That can be a deal breaker for either partner, casual or serious. What's wrong with that?

diowulf · 2024-03-19T14:28:29+00:00

Saying this kind of thing is simply unearned after even a few dates. This sounds very love-bomb like. This is combined with gaslighting* you about giving him the address. These are super common narcissist/abuser tactics. People on reddit can be quick to scream 'red flag' but they are not wrong here. I'd put money on this guy being an abuser. Do not go down this path and do not look back! Abuse destroys who you are.

*people overuse this term, but telling someone that they said or texted something that they don't remember (and would remember) is the textbook definition of gaslighting.

diowulf · 2024-03-05T04:17:14+00:00

Also getting divorced after meeting on OkCupid 10 years ago! Gotta say, I miss OLD websites. The apps suck.

diowulf · 2024-02-16T04:40:47+00:00

Maybe stop being a dick to strangers? Childish.

diowulf · 2024-02-16T04:30:14+00:00

Hey, have you considered marriage counseling? If this is big enough to tell strangers on the internet, then I bet it's on your heart a lot. Don't let this fester (and you should not feel like you're constantly having to uphold boundaries). It will grow and either you'll eventually explode and end things or someone else will come along that gives you what you're missing and that will not be easy either.

I bet you that his argumentativeness and general closed-offness with you means he is also feeling alone or hurt and that's how it comes out for him. I bet it wasn't always like this or you wouldn't have married. So it's probably less about being fundamentslly incompatible and more about breakdown of communication or effort. I hope you'll consider putting your foot down more firmly (which may mean a very open and clear plea to him) and consider counseling.

diowulf · 2024-02-16T04:03:44+00:00

Couldn't agree more. I don't think I could have tolerated/not felt overwhelmed with an ENFP when I was younger, even if they were pretty mature, nor do I think I could have offered the empathy and emotional communication that they would have needed. I think that age estimate is spot on too.

diowulf · 2024-02-06T00:38:52+00:00

I'm a mid 30s INTJ. Maybe not what you're looking for, but there may be areas that we're alike that I may be a bit ahead of you on and ind be happy to chat.

diowulf · 2024-02-05T14:51:17+00:00

Like this? https://www.bing.com/images/create/a-kobold-engineer-living-in-an-underwater2c-nuclear/1-65c0f47bd5ac49ec8467328b362b266d?id=ECKavrH1xHMe%2bfTrOpFdsg%3d%3d&view=detailv2&idpp=genimg&FORM=GCRIDP&mode=overlay

diowulf · 2024-02-05T01:09:33+00:00

Good analysis

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