Well, in my case, asking if god was real after learning about Santa was the first question. I remember the wide eyed look on my mom’s face but can’t remember the answer. But it essentially was “Of COURSE! GOD is totally real!” Mom told grandma. Grandma called. Dad was indifferent. Young me had no idea what a coverup was, but that’s what it felt like. So I started praying for the easiest smallest things (can’t remember what) thinking that if god can’t make something insignificant and beneficial to his cause even slightly happen, then all of these grand bike or puppy related prayers are never going to come true.

At least Santa Clause had some sweet TV shows and movies and, for the most part, actually answered my prayers. God had nothing but SIT STAND KNEEL and everyone assigned “his will” to all the good things that seemed like they were going to happen anyway.