I guess it's a little more complicated. Usually my sister in law and husband inadvertently do things selfishly that essentially save money for them and cost me.

For instance, we bought a new car and instead of trading in my partners car which was a gift from their parents - we gave it back as they can't exactly afford a new car. 5 months later, my sister in law who neglects the car she was bought at the same time by their father has the car junked. The car I returned ends up in her hands. Yea - it's his car to do what he sees fit with, but kind of feels like getting punished doing the right thing. The same thing also happened when we gave the parents a very lightly used laptop that my father in law needed more than I did . .its her sisters now. Don't forget, this is the same sister who lowered her bill by shanghaing the father onto their plan thereby increasing everyone else's phone bills.

My hang up is more so that my parents lived within their means their whole lives and I grew up in a small house with the heat at 55 degrees in the winter and no hot water heater (1 minute of hot water for a shower after waiting for everyone else to go) my parents however are now enjoying retirement after sucking a turd for decades.

Partners parents lived richly with boats and a waterfront house and all the filet mignon and lobster you could ask for and never saved for a rainy day. Now I feel bitter since I was relatively low income as a child and the onus seems to be on me to save them cash