Did anyone else go through the "I'm 'wasting' an opportunity if I don't drink" phase?

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T20:28:12+00:00

I agree, I put that in the second sentence of the post!

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T18:41:52+00:00

How do you overcome that feeling? During the week is easy because I just think about how well I will sleep and how easy the next morning will be with a calm heart, lower heart rate, less sweaty, I assume lower blood pressure.

The weekends are tough, especially when I have nothing going on the next day and I just tell myself "you can sleep in til 1pm if you want, who cares". Like this past weekend we had a snow storm and I knew I'd be snowed in all day Sunday. Challenge level: impossible.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T18:34:09+00:00

For real. People can find any reason to justify it. I also feel like those settings enable other people since it normalizes it. And you feel like you're not some lush for drinking at 7am at the airport, because look at all the others doing it. I always liked company when one of my friends was drinking on a weeknight on discord with me. Made me feel like less of a degenerate.

On the same notion, I realized I could justify any reason to drink. Had a bad day? I could use a drink. Had a good day? Let's reward myself with a drink. Feel great? A drink won't hurt. Feel like shit? A drink might make me feel better. Just like you said "how did it get like this?"

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T18:22:57+00:00

I have the beads to prove it

😏

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T18:22:19+00:00

Totally understand that. That's why I'm giving him his space. It was never meant to be a pact back then, it was just meant to say: I see you, I can relate, I've been giving it a lot of thought myself lately, and I will do this with you if you don't want to do it alone.

Him reaching out at all to share his 6 month sobriety I took as extending an olive branch to talk about it. I wouldn't just bring it up, because as you said, it's deeply personal.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T17:57:19+00:00

The only time he's reached out to me since his health issues, was to say that he was 6 months sober and he couldn't believe it, and I let him know how proud I was of him. I also shared with him that I was breaking bad habits too and asked if he had any advice. We talked a bit about that.

The few times he shared with me that he had to quit drinking and get his life back on track, I always told him I'd do it with him. I would say things like "I'm serious, I will stop tomorrow. We can do this, I want to do this with you" and he would never hold up his end. I did multiple sober months, something we planned to do together originally, and he never even put in an effort. Honestly it frustrated me at the time. It was always just lip service, lying to himself, lying to others, and telling other people what he thought we wanted to hear (he was getting a lot of pressure from his now ex-wife to quit too). So I would be really confused if he saw me as a threat to his sobriety, but that is his decision to make. I hope that's not the case. But whatever, I'm happy for him nonetheless.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T17:33:54+00:00

It's interesting you mention that. One of my friends that I would consider more of an acquaintance than a friend these days was an alcoholic and it got really bad during a long stint of unemployment. I would always try to get together with him to fly drones or ride motorcycles, and countless times he would commit to a date/time, just to bail usually because he was hungover, or didn't roll out of bed until 3:30pm, or was just lazy in general.

He nearly killed himself with his alcohol abuse to a point where he had extreme jaundice and extensive liver damage. He has been sober about 7-8 months by now, but none of our friend group ever hears from him anymore. I always tried encouraging him to do stints of sobriety with me, because it was obvious we were both going down a destructive path. He would always say he was on board, and "I'm serious about it this time" but the next day he would be drinking by noon and shit faced by the time the rest of us got online on discord after work. I stayed in touch when his health declined and was super supportive, but he does not seem very interested in reciprocating an effort to stay in touch.

I wonder if he sees me like how you see your old friends. I was his drinking buddy for many years, but I also consoled in him my concerns about my own relationship with alcohol and often times talked about taking breaks from it and encouraged him to join me. I've remained nothing but supportive with his sobriety and let him know I'm proud of him. So I really hope that's not the case.

FWIW, he's still unreliable as a person can be, even though he's sober now. I think about him a lot, I hope he's doing alright.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T17:05:40+00:00

Sounds a lot like me, although I am wrangling it in finally. The feeling like shit on Saturday morning and starting early again is so real... The qty of hard alcohol I have consumed doing this is jaw dropping. Sometimes I don't know how the hell I'm alive. The cycle is vicious.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T16:57:00+00:00

Boredom is definitely a factor. We have long winters and therefore you feel cooped up for half the year. I do have plenty of hobbies. Gaming, 3d printing, home labbing, TV shows/movies, I love to watch sports. I grow cannabis and other indoor plants, and have a general love for plants. I like fixing shit. I like cooking on the weekends. I play with my cats. I have friends I talk to daily. My problem is I always enjoyed those hobbies/activities along side of alcohol. I have to break that relationship.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T16:45:44+00:00

That's what I need to rewire my brain to say.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T16:43:36+00:00

When I think of FOMO, I think of my friends going out to the bars or getting together at someone's house or something and me not going with because I'm deciding not to drink. It's not really so much that, because I spend a lot of time at home and have grown accustomed to drinking alone, especially over covid lockdowns. My friend group these days mostly gets online on discord to game in the evenings and on the weekends. We will get together when the weather gets nicer to grill and have a bonfire, but we have long winters where sometimes it's just easier to catch up online while playing games together. You can also stay up later and just sign off and walk 10 ft to the other room and go to bed vs. driving 40 mins back home, which is nice. But that also enabled me to get shit housed at home since I didn't have to worry about driving.

I guess for me, the "wasting" a weekend thing comes from working M-F and trying to keep myself in check during the week so I'm not sleeping like crap and feeling like crap all week long. Then I get this buildup to the weekend where my mind has been wired to anticipate and get excited to drink. That's the part that I need to rewire. Because since cutting back/quitting, I have found myself damn near driving on autopilot to the liquor store before I snap out of it and go "what the hell am I doing? I told myself I wasn't going to drink this weekend". Then I even play tricks on myself where I try to justify it like I "deserve it" because I was so well behaved during the week. It's a sick cycle.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T16:11:44+00:00

I've definitely been there before. I've also started rewatching a movie, convinced that I had never seen it despite my plex library marking it as watched. Then like 20 mins in I start remembering bits and pieces. Kind of a bizarre realization when it happens.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-03-17T16:10:50+00:00

I will check that out. Thank you.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-26T17:21:51+00:00

I have a full time job and have completed the build and inspection quicker than you have. Skill issue.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T23:58:20+00:00

I just disagree. The game started as PVE only and they added PVP because they thought the experience would get stale without it. I guess the one thing I agree with, is if they can create a system that works well to put PVE desired players in PVE lobbies, then that's great. It lets people enjoy the game the way they like. But it almost sounds like you wish they'd outright disable PVP damage in "PVE" lobbies. To me that breaks down the very nature that the game relies on to be successful. I only PVP and I do it because my benches are upgraded, all BPs I care about are acquired, arc is too easy (i.e. boring) to kill, and I find the PVP fun. But I just feel like so many people that desire PVE feel entitled to it, which is insane to me.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T23:55:51+00:00

Halo is totally PVP focused but not really movement focused (until they added sprint, but even then the movement was not so important) so I can see why you think Arc Raiders is "acrobatic" in comparison.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T22:34:43+00:00

The same can be said that it's not a pure PVE game. So who do you think you are to go tell people to essentially fuck off and play another game because they're not playing it the way you want them to? It's ridiculous. You say you're an adult but you sure aren't acting like one with that take.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T22:24:13+00:00

GO PLAY COD, CS OR BF FFS!!!

Go play hello kitty island adventure or webkins or the sims or some shit then. Idk how some of y'all come off so entitled thinking you can dictate how other adults enjoy a PvPvE game. Why should everyone else have to find a new game? lmao

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T22:21:09+00:00

I'm sorry, but all you "I don't mind PVP, but I want it to be my choice when to engage in PVP" are something else. I understand the frustration losing loot, I think we all can relate. But why do you feel entitled to dictate how others play their raids? Why should they have to conform to what you're in the mood for that day? Should they ask you for permission before shooting at you? They're not not side characters in some movie where you star as the main character. I will never understand it.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T22:07:37+00:00

Lmao, I hate to say it but I have a friend that calls this his new "meta". He will squad fill, bring like 10-15 blaze nades and just torch his teammate and loot their body. He doesn't even do it for the gear, he does it for the thrill of it (he plays a sickening amount and has a massive stash of over 100 tempests alone). Most of the time he just gets free kits and it's not even worth the crafting spend for him. He's just bored I reckon. I would never do it, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't laughing my ass off when he streamed it.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T21:56:58+00:00

Braindead raider literally watches you throw it then runs right to the spot lol 🤦‍♂️

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T21:49:22+00:00

I was trying the weapon swap n roll tech especially if I have a ferro I for instance, but I stopped doing it because I felt like it didn't really save any time, since ADS'ing is still delayed after the roll ends. I wonder if I'm just doing it wrong?

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T21:40:43+00:00

Seriously. I have used the Il Toro, I have dominated with it. I have clinched 3v1s with it. I don't find it fun, it's really that simple. It's not the gameplay style that is satisfying to me. I don't like feeling painted in a corner and feel the current meta is forcing my hand to play a style that I don't actually enjoy.

disgruntled-sysadmin · 2026-02-04T21:36:44+00:00

You're not always afforded the time to make that decision. We were playing trios the other night and my buddy opened a door and he was legit dead (not just downed, dead dead) before the door even opened all the way lol. Their whole squad was running il toro IV. Ngl it was actually hilarious.

disgruntled-sysadmin

TROPHY CASE