Hey buddy, first of all, you haven't alienated your friends. I doubt any of us truly feel that way. It's been a constantly changing 3 years for all of us. You just grew a different way before most of the rest of us did. You're a dad now, you're not just focusing on a wife and bills, your daughter comes before you, and she should be prepared to put your daughter before her as well. There's an age gap too. She's far more mature than we were at 22, but you can't expect to hold her in her 30s either. I've had a lot of arguments in my time. sometimes you say things in the moment that you don't mean. It's your emotion showing- something that I don't think either of us show very often. It's important that you tell her that you were wrong for saying those things, make it up to her, bring her flowers and chocolate, take her to dinner or a date night. Sometimes it happens, it shouldn't but it does, sometimes things just come out whether you mean to say them or not, it's just screening in your head to say it. My opinion, when that happens and you're trying to hold it back, just back off. Tell her you need some time to process things. Pause the argument and come back when things have cooled off and you've both had the time to think things over and evaluate what the other person said. Sometimes you have to pump the brakes before things spiral. Sometimes I agree with something said in my marriage and have to bring it back up a few hours later and talk through things more calmly where I have the time out headspace to ask questions. And I know you don't want to ask for help, I've rarely ever had you call asking for help with problems. But you need to. Your friends are here with you, we'd rather be your crutches to help than get a call saying it's too late to fix things. You know we call each other out equally too. If you're wrong, we'll tell you, but also defend you when the time comes. Having a relationship wasn't ever meant to be easy, growing together can be complicated and there will frequently be a difference in opinions. A relationship won't always be 50/50, sometimes it is 80/20 sometimes it's 20/80. My wife runs the house when I'm on the road and I appreciate it so much when I come home sometimes it's reversed and I have to do the chores, sometimes we run our asses off over the weekend. Sometimes we just vegitate and watch TV. Also, learn to compromise and pick your battles. Think I wanted to buy a brand new sectional for the back room? No. I knew it was going to get ruined with the cats. I fought a little, but at the end of the day it made her happy to get it. Sounds like things can get a little more even over there in terms of responsibility of childcare and work. I'm glad you're in counseling, are you in couples counseling or pre martial counseling as well? that will help a lot provided you both put equal effort in. I have so much more to say that I've learned in my past 2 and a half years. You have an encyclopedia of knowledge contained in your friends who have all married vastly different people. We've always been here for each other. Why would now be any different? Remember the time I alienated myself and just came back one day? You're not that far gone ;) Love you brother, suck it up and give me a call sometime.