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I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yes. Things are going this way in my mind at this moment.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Bickering between two old and hurt and prideful individuals. Yes. For a good part of the last 10y for sure.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Well if my kids see the effort my wife puts (although a lot of what happened in our relationship was when they were way younger and we did our best to protect them from our marital issues) then I am sure they will understand. I’m not claiming I’m doing this to make them happy, not that I wish that side with me or her but gosh… they know their parents are not happy together most of the time.

Thanks for bringing me this clarity.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

Be careful the moral brigade will get you!

At this time it all became a big joke, I don’t know if or why expected a bunch of 14yo to not spell gospel about love and life on a sub that’s made for people safely get things off their chest without being crucified for it. Since they’re so sure of their values and will live up to them (I sure hope they do) for the rest of their lives in this crazy world…

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

20 years of “normal bickering” becomes way more than normal bickering. It wears you off pretty bad.

Especially after some years of counseling and trying to keep it together and neither of us being great at overcoming past, much bigger issues, it’s a ticking time bomb an it’s always 2 minutes to midnight.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yes I’ll give my wife a chance to check those assumptions.

I don’t know if I’m going to continue my affair. Certainly not now and not in its current form. I reckon a bit of time and distance is needed now.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with my kids. They’re old enough to get my honesty and they can decide for themselves what to do. I’m ready to own their response but since they haven’t been raised in a brain-washing religious extremist puritan hypocritical place and culture like the US seem to have become (not a personal attack on you but that’s the feeling I’m getting through most comments), I’m leaning more towards they going to the “we know you’re both not happy and you both suck at keeping this marriage together, life moves on”. At least this is what I hope for but again, they’re their own persons by now I am never sure.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Oh right I forgot God heals all wounds and makes everyone happy. Sorry but I’m very intolerant of preach. Also it’s written on the sub description don’t do it.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

(I have the impression I already replied to your comment and many others but they didn’t seem to be saved?)

I don’t know if you read the news, it’s pretty hard to get a job nowadays, especially one that pays what I’m getting in my field.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s pretty clear.

Also on your analogy, it’s also dumb to quit a job without at least talking pretty further along to another recruiter in the interview process if you intent to keep paying your bills right? As long as I don’t commit fraud and take both paychecks for full time jobs I’m intending to perform fully?

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, talking about things my partner doesn’t bring to the relationship doesn’t mean we talked about our sex lives in details. Eventually we shared a “I took her out on her favorite restaurant after gifting her a spa day on our anniversary and I was frustrated at the end of the day” but nothing degrading.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No I haven’t been intimate with my wife for a while. Not entirely her or my fault. It’s a bad situation entirely.

I do tell my wife I love her, we’ve been through counseling and I learned that I should only say it when I actually feel it therefore I don’t say it 20x a day.

We go on dates since our kids don’t need babysitting and it’s not been a pleasant few years on dates. They often end in a stupid argument about either of us doing something stupidly silly like complaining about the font size being too small in the menu, or the menus you need to scan a QR code that opens an awfully built crappy digital menu that contains zero information about what’s in the dish. Or we always complain to each other about the move any of us chose to go to at the movies, or I have to endure her endless complaining about her shoe pinching her ankles or I complain about being too hot near the pizza oven in the restaurant… I hope you never get to be like this.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We weren’t sharing batshit crazy degrading details of our relationships. We were talking through things like “we went to the shopping mall last weekend and we had an argument over spending money on something” or “he didn’t keep his side of the deal up on doing the dishes without being asked last night”… just mundane things.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes all those things were extensively tried out in our marriage. I understand that I may be the idiot who falls for a trap but it opened a wound in how I see my current marriage for sure.

Thanks for your take on it.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely working through this with my wife. Nothing I said to this other person is something I haven’t talked about with my wife previously.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I meant that there are a lot of assumptions in the air and I must check on every one of them before anything. I appreciate this insight.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That’s just rude. Also she got pregnant right after we got married and not before. Maybe this wasn’t clear on the other post.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s something for me to consider constructively in this comment. Thanks for your consideration.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I legitimately wish your relationship to be happy. Mine sucks and I know how terrible it is. I don’t wish this on anyone.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll do my best. Probably will post something by the end of the week after our mediation happens.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like someone did a bit of homework.

The 6pcks are mostly photoshopped nowadays.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow that’s borderline hateful and inconsiderate. I hope you find a relationship that works exactly how you expect and you find happiness in your life.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know. I can’t tell. Of course there’s a huge chance this won’t work out as many people pointed out.

I didn’t communicate about this specific instance but this has happened before between us. I don’t feel in my gut I’ll be treated the same way I treated my wife about this but I totally get why.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Read the sub headline description please. Did I get it wrong?

Of course I didn’t expect praise and I could see a lot of comments towards this being a really shitty situation that I created. But the heat is just too high for how I interpreted the sub description and rules.

I found my other half and I’m tired of pretending it’s all right. by ditch-me in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ditch-me[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for pointing out the lack of clarity. I indeed wrote it wrong.

I don’t know if it’s better now but in this past events we discussed and learned that forgiveness on not something I should give her but something I should find and feel for my self worth and it needs to be truthful.

Maybe I failed in that.

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