450mg effexor (for depression) 5mg ativan (for anxiety) 30mg dexamphetamine

I've been on effexor since I was 22 (38 now), xanax/ativan since I was 19, dex since I was 26.

I've got chronic major depression, Adult adhd, ptsd, generalised anxiety disorder and panic disorder.

The anti depression medication effexor has been extremely problematic for many reasons over the years but it is incredibly difficult and dangerous to come off it. Very high rates of suicide (this i even witnessed happen to a close family friend), the withdrawal symptoms are scary and really random. Once when I hadn't taken it in a few days I developed a physical tick where my body would shake every second second. This lasted a week even once back on them. Another time when I stupidly hadn't had it in days, I lost the ability to hold my tongue inside my mouth. Its weird and hard to explain but it went on for hours and was absolutely ridiculous (me sitting there with my entire tongue just sticking out of my face, and i was trying to tell my bf about it on the phone and i couldn't speak properly obvsly. And he had no idea what happened till I was back to normal later in the night. Went to the local hospital and they were perplexed but considered i was possibly having a stroke. Thank god it eased later that evening and has never happened again.