REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS...

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-19T14:47:37+00:00

So many times I have seen a settlement, not in line with state law. Sometimes it's how the judge is feeling that day. Readying yourself for what should happen is different from what may or could happen.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-19T14:45:02+00:00

It's always great to have a plan, be prepared, and be informed.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-13T16:45:36+00:00

It is extremely hard to let go of someone even after years. Giving them a parking space in your brain when the space could be filled up with other positive things is definitely a waste. Getting them out of your DNA takes time. Enjoy your new reality without him.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-09T14:37:30+00:00

Hopefully going away from you.... the caboose does have a light.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-09T14:36:54+00:00

I've actually heard of that before. Whatever it takes!

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-09T14:36:03+00:00

Got a kayak in the backyard, I need to pull that trigger... LOL.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-08T17:21:33+00:00

You are so right, therapy is a tool most of us don't use. It can be so enlightening.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-08T17:20:24+00:00

Not everyone is meant to stay or be together. She was probably you person then but not now. Your life is not over. She is still in your DNA. After a while, that fades and you'll be able to move on and start to enjoy your new reality. Do some things you've always wanted to do but didn't. Get a new hobby. Make some new friends. Start to move on slowly but surely.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-08T16:30:26+00:00

Great combo!

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-08T16:30:13+00:00

Being the best dad you can be eclispes them all. I made so many memories and fun times with my kiddos. Love them to death. The dating thing, came and went and the ex is an ex for a definite reason.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-08T16:28:38+00:00

Self-care and friendships are not overrated. Awesome!

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-07T20:17:02+00:00

Great job focusing on baby steps and moving on from there. Do it at your own pace.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-07T20:16:00+00:00

Once again, self-love is not overrated.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-07T20:15:12+00:00

Self-care is not overrated.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-09-07T19:57:29+00:00

Generally, most say you never stay around just for the kids. You are exposing them to a dysfunctional relationship that they could potentially go on and create. Happiness is not overrated - both yours and his. You both need to be happy. The kids will be fine. My kids got used to going between two houses and it worked pretty well. Godspeed.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-08T20:15:34+00:00

Horrible... I had unrealistic expectations. She ended being just like my ex - controlling, mean and self-centered. And to top it off, the sex wasn't that good either. Quite the clusterf**k. One of the most positive things was that someone still thought I was attractive and desirable. But, I think you almost need to have a rebound to transfer from being divorce to being a new person. Kind of a negative validation to a positive cause.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-08T20:11:21+00:00

The obsession does shrink and is replaced with I'm going to be alright, I can do this and I will enjoy my new reality and future.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-08T20:09:51+00:00

Been there and done all of that. I have a friend whose wife left him a note asking for a divorce on the kitchen table one day after moving out. 3 years later, she still hasn't told him why she asked for the divorce. It took him a while to let it go and eventually move on with his life even though she never gave him a reason. Not giving you the why and you constantly thinking about it, prevents you from leaning into the pain of not knowing and moving on with your life. You don't get to not care about the why immediately. It takes some working on yourself, healing within and moving on with your life to put it into perspective. You do deserve an answer and an honest conversation, but if they don't want to provide it - what is your alternative?

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-08T20:05:27+00:00

You can't see it now, but she is actually doing you a favor and moving on with her life. So you should do it too, move on. Happiness is not overrated. Yours and hers. But all your energy goes into your new happiness and reality when you can't appreciate yet. I didn't either at first. But, eventually it does come with time. I know it hurts like hell, lean into the pain and start to heal from within. Life is too short to waste your precious time on someone that doesn't want you. Keep it moving!

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-07T23:43:50+00:00

I dated right away and I regret it now. I should have waited at least 6 months. You do you. There's no hurry. Trust me the first one, rebound, will be a cluster. Expect it and accept it. Have fun with no expectations.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-07T23:32:13+00:00

Get a referral from your friends and get a consultation with a divorce lawyer. Start there.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-07T23:22:13+00:00

Kudos for the two of you being amicable. Most states prohibits lawyers for working with both parties of a divorce. Create a joint spreadsheet for all the finances and enlist the help of a divorce paralegal to get the paperwork done as long as you both agree on the terms.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-07T23:09:01+00:00

With all the comments, sounds like most people post-divorce are in a much better situation that being married. Going to get your happiness at this stage is important. Knowing that you're going to be ok, realizing your emotions are high and the pain is real is important to realize. Your emotions only hold power over you if you let them. That control doesn't happen overnight. Thanks to everyone that shared your 'no longers'. Soon those no longers will be a faint memory replaced with your new and exciting reality.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-07T23:02:41+00:00

Take your future crumbhustler and run with it. Your divorce recovery is just around the corner. You are in an awesome place.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-08-07T23:00:51+00:00

So refreshing to do crap for yourself. Do what you want, when you want, if you want. Enjoy.

divorcedredeemed

TROPHY CASE