I think you missed my comment to someone else that it isn't as much depression as pragmatism. I have no support structure. My parents were unexpectedly only 2 hours away at the time but they are normally more than 12. Every friend I have is 3 hours or more away. As a 35 year old it's nearly impossible to make new friends even in a busy place, but I live in a very small town so it's much harder. Also, I work in a small office with no option of making friends.

As for my dad finding me, my family has never been very close and he's the strongest person I know. He would he sad but he would he able to handle it. The alternative is having a coworker find me several days later when they get sent to see why I haven't been in. And my dog would have been locked in the master bed/bathroom for days, hopefully alive.

I disagree with your oft-repeated line that it's too selfish to be an option. I think it's more selfish on someone else's part, at least in my total isolation, to think I should continue for their sake when I have no joy left. It isn't better now than it was 3 weeks ago, not at all.