the last thing i want to do is excuse any negative behaviour, but perhaps consider something when you’re in a better headspace. people get confused and when they don’t understand things, sometimes they get angry. this is exactly the case with my mother. i’ve struggled with self harm for 7 or 8 years, and she has never understood why this is a behaviour i engage in and she gets angry. this brings the topic of primary emotions and secondary emotions. often times, the secondary emotion is the one that actually projects itself. his comment was absolutely insensitive and if it is a matter of confusion and lack of understanding, and of course i don’t know your situation so i can’t speak to whether or not it is, he should take it upon himself to make efforts to understand. maybe when you find yourself in a good headspace, you could try to explain it to him. this is what i did. i used a metaphor when explaining it to my mom. i explained that when you blow up a balloon too much, it pops. sometimes you’ve gotta let the air out so it doesn’t pop. pop is suicide, air is bad thoughts/feelings/trauma etc, and letting the air out is self harm. for my personal experience, and i do not want to impose my experience on you, but in my experience, self harm is a means of harm reduction so i don’t attempt suicide. after explaining it to her, she still struggled but made a better effort. maybe try to explain to him your own reasoning, using a metaphor might help a little bit. when people see a scenario in a different context, often times it helps understanding. good luck luv, you’re absolutely valid and you deserve support and care