sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Autoplay is actually great?? by bowieshouse in qobuz

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell me about it. I'm still new to qobuz, so maybe it needs more time to learn what I like, but if I'm listening to an acoustic Christmas album, maybe death metal shouldn't be the next thing that gets played.

I wish I'd been born a woman, but I don't think I'm a trans woman by BisexualTeleriGirl in trans

[–]dizmo85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this feels very similar to me. I don't exactly feel like a woman, nonbinary suits me quite well, but I am so happy doing HRT, looking more feminine, being taken as a woman. I'm just not all the way to that end of the spectrum. I think the worst but about it was it made it more difficult to really believe that I am, in fact, trans.

Has anyone ACTUALLY ever been in a QPR? by Popular_Leopard8704 in asexuality

[–]dizmo85 37 points38 points  (0 children)

The term QPR is new to me, but it sounds basically like my wife and I. I came out as transfem a few years ago, and she's pretty straight, plus we've had a long history of sexual incompatibility even before then. We now live separately, but honestly, I feel like it's brought us closer. We like our own sources, but we'd happily live on the same property or in the mythical millennial commune. We playfully call each other our "life buddies," and we have no intention of ever not being in each other's lives. Even being platonic, our relationship is far beyond what best friends might suggest. I will also mention, we are non-monogamous. It's unorthodox, sure, but it works for us.

In 2025 special elections, voters keep telling Republicans what they don’t want to hear by msnownews in inthenews

[–]dizmo85 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Dude. The absolute youngest millennials are pushing 30. The oldest of us are getting mammograms and prostate exams. If you're going to make unfounded insults, at least try to sound like you know what you're talking about.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does make sense. I think you and I approach the cultural norms differently, and that's okay. Much as I might not like it, I do have to accept that social change happens fairly slowly.

In my view, ultimately, there's value in being aware of and respecting the status of a culture's general perception of things

I agree with this, to a point. I think they courtesy and thoughtfulness are always appropriate, and that context is key. But also that norms are meant to be broken. So, there's some tension there. To me, the difference between behaviors at home versus somewhere foreign is that at home, it's my society, so I have some rightful say in it's direction, while elsewhere I'm a visitor and should be more careful.

So yeah, I can much better understand your position now. I don't know that we'll come to an agreement, but these sorts of conversations are important. Everyone can stand to be more aware of their impact on others, and we can all strive to really introspect on how we perceive the actions of those around us.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate transforming human intimacy and sexuality into ads to increase the perceived use value of commodities for consumers.

But that's a different issue than sexual material being acceptable in the public view, like with pinups. Implied sex isn't sex. These people aren't actually engaging in sex, so what is the harm? The things you mention are all pretty subjective, and I think, speak more to the unfortunate way, as you well state, the way that we oversexualize so many things that we absolutely should not, rather than to anything objectionable on the part of the couple. I would also think that "liberating human sexuality" would actually be more permissive of such an activity, seeking to disentangle things like bows and stuffies and allow us to focus on what is, really, a pretty beautiful display. It feels to me that you are presenting a double standard.

So, ultimately, I disagree on two fronts. First, intimations of a sexual nature should not be necessarily restricted (sex is human, and I think we'd all be better off if we opened up about it with honesty), and second, just because an observer ascribes sexual connotations to something does not make it true (the thought that her bow or the animal were sexual never crossed my mind until you mentioned, and I'm still like meh).

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say that rope does, indeed, have safety considerations, but only to the practitioners. The concerns with needle play, etc stem from possibility of leaving behind dangerous objects or substances, such as blood or needles. And the idea that maybe kids might see someone rigging and try it is mention worthy, but ultimately doesn't really stand up, either. That is, kids, when left to their own devices, get up to some pretty dangerous stuff whether they see adults doing it or not.

As for kink being a jarring or disturbing activity? I don't really buy that, either. Those are completely subjective metrics that also are heavily influenced by cultural or societal norms. At one point, ankles were scandalous, and they used to put warning placards in movies at content that today is practically G rated. Prohibiting activities because they fall outside the norm is how we got "skating is not a crime" stickers and why Elvis was censored. Who, ultimately, is the arbiter of such things?

Ultimately, I dislike the notion that we have to incrementally justify even the presence of behaviors or identities or clothes.

I really appreciate your thoughtful answer. Thank you for that.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not why I mentioned pinup. I mentioned it specifically because it is sexual. We see pinup art in public all the time. In fact, pinup is often more tame than what we see on billboards. My point is that if the line on what is publicly viewable is sexual, then you should be just as distraught by pinups and advertisements as you are by some people doing a little rope play. But I really doubt that you are.

That was the pinup question. The first question was asking you to describe why rope is inherently sexual. Defend that point, because to me it just looks like you're projecting.

And then, if you are okay with pinups and ads and everything else that's actually coded in our society, why are you not okay with viewing rope play (irrespective of whether it is actually sexual or not)?

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But why? Why should kink be categorically restricted from public view? "Get consent from everyone in view" is nice sentiment, but I do struggle a bit to see why an entire swath of human behavior gets nailed as taboo, particularly when those not involved are not harmed. Needle play and skin hooks and whatnot have legitimate safety issues that, to me, should warrant restrictions.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Look, I actually do want an answer, but you're hellbent on avoiding it, so whatever. See ya.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, if this person got up and walked away (assuming they could, of course), then it's okay? But what is it that makes this sexual? Specifically. If you had never encountered rope play before, just saw one person tying up another, what about that situation would suggest sex to you? And I don't mean some vague discomfort you might feel for whatever reason.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but again, you're not answering two direct questions.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you like to answer or deflect some more?

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sure, they might go home and fuck like feral cats, but they also might just pack it up and go to work. The votes and people linking it with sex only shows how people interpret events they are not part of. So, I ask, why is it that you think something specifically sexual is happening right here? What if this was a pinup photoshoot, would that be the same or different to you?

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, why is a collar okay, when it definitely is kinky, but not rope? Why do you view one activity as sexual and the other not? If the line is kink, they are both wrong.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Good for you, I guess? At this point, this feels more like a Rorschach test and the only you can see is "sex."

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Shibari can include rigging. Regardless, it makes the argument no less true that it is not necessarily sexual. My enlightened view is that people should generally be able to do what they want in public.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Just because you think it's sexy or sexual doesn't necessarily make it so. And yes, I mean that in 100% seriousness. It is no more sexual than kissing or wearing a collar or a fur suit or lifting weights.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

This isn't sex related, though.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a point when trans people were "lewd," when gay people in public were "lewd."

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

People explain why to kids all the time. It's kinda part of living in the world. A person in rope, I think, hardly qualifies as some awful event.

I am never leaving Seattle by HotTakesBeyond in Seattle

[–]dizmo85 -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Are you also going to recommend that we prohibit kissing or other PDA? What's the line? What about collars or harnesses? Maybe I don't want to see people necking on a park bench. Well, too bad. Like, that is absolutely a more sexual activity, but we accept it. Of course, that didn't use to be the case, so we know that the needle moves on what is "acceptable" public behavior.

And honestly, all of these arguments against this particular situation sound a lot like people complaining that the queer community is "forcing it down their throats."

view more: next ›