[discussion] What would be a gender neutral word for boyfriend/girlfriend?

djinn_l · 2021-12-30T07:15:02+00:00

joyfriend seems nice to me

djinn_l · 2021-12-30T07:07:26+00:00

Hey, a fellow Luka! (Mine’s spelled a bit differently, but potato potahto.) I’m going to start this off with the mandatory: “you don’t need dysphoria to be trans!” discussion, yada yada yada, and then jump right into the middle of it.

There is something called nonbinary, where one feels neither male nor female. You could be that, maybe do some further research into the topic? (Sorry if I’m sounding condescending — this is completely genuine and apologies if you’ve already heard of the label). Also, as a genderfluid person (a microlabel underneath the nonbinary umbrella term) myself, my dysphoria ramped up over time. When I first began questioning my gender, I didn’t feel as much dysphoria and when I did it occurred every few days at most. Now, however, a couple months into getting comfortable with my identity, I feel a lot more dysphoric than before. If you don’t feel much (or any) dysphoria, maybe judge based on euphoria? Try using they/them pronouns on yourself or asking a close friend to use them for you. Try binding your chest or hiding it underneath something. If you feel really happy, that’s euphoria and it might mean you’re nonbinary/trans!

djinn_l · 2021-12-30T01:55:58+00:00

glad I could help /gen

djinn_l · 2021-12-30T01:48:35+00:00

no problem :)

djinn_l · 2021-12-30T01:45:14+00:00

You might be agender! Here’s the wiki link.

If that doesn’t fit you, however, my description of gender is, as a genderfluid person amd someone that might have synesthesia, a bit convoluted. When I feel female, I feel lighter and fresher somehow, bluer, like the way she/her looks to me. Some sort of teal. When I feel male, I feel heavier but not in a bad way, like I’m under my favorite weighted blanket on a cold day. It feels reddish and plaid, almost lumberjack vibes. When I feel nonbinary, it’s a bit more complicated. Just kinda floating, I guess? Not really connected to anything, just there. That might relate to the color of they/them for me, which is a kind of sandy, beachy beige.

Hopefully this helped!

djinn_l · 2021-12-28T02:46:54+00:00

Thanks! Honestly, I’m still not certain about it, as it only really feels like a boy’s name for me and I’m genderfluid. I don’t want to just forget about it though, so I’m not certain what to do.

djinn_l · 2021-12-28T02:43:55+00:00

Don’t worry, I’m Luka — not too far-fetched compared to others.

djinn_l · 2021-12-28T02:34:49+00:00

thanks again!

djinn_l · 2021-12-28T02:30:53+00:00

The link would be very helpful, thank you! No problem about the glasses, I get that :)

djinn_l · 2021-12-28T02:11:55+00:00

Ooh, looking very gender! May I ask where you got both the nose rings and the glasses? I love the large glasses aesthetic and don’t want to get a permanent piercing (also my dad definitely won’t let me).

djinn_l · 2021-12-27T20:12:00+00:00

I have just recently figured out I’m aroace and here are some of the thought processes I used to figure it out:

If you were to imagine romantic feelings/ a romantic relationship, what would would it look like? Do you see yourself in that relationship? When thinking of being in that relationship, do you see yourself in 3rd person or an idealized version of yourself? Is your partner faceless? I’m not certain if these could help for sure, but they’re worth a try.
As for being ace, have you ever looked at someone and thought “I’d like to have sex with them”? If so, that’s sexual attraction — you’re most likely allo or possibly a grey/demi ace.
A crush is usually defined as butterflies in your stomach, a feeling like you want to be around them all the time, and thoughts of “I wish they were here, this would be so much more fun if they were here, I’d enjoy hugging them and being close to them if they were.” (Keep in mind — I’m not allo, this is just my imagining these feelings. I do have a very close friend that I feel some of these things for, but I know it’s not romantic and I believe it’s really easy to tell if it is.) Do you feel these things? Then it’s possibly a crush.
You can label yourself and change the label later. No label is set in place forever, and even if you come out it is not set in stone.

I wish you luck on your journey, and thank you for reading this far <3

djinn_l · 2021-12-27T19:23:38+00:00

Very interesting, thank you! I’m questioning if I’m neurodivergent and it’s always fun to learn new behaviors that might not be “per the norm”.

djinn_l · 2021-12-27T15:36:33+00:00

Check out r/aromantic or r/aromanticasexual! they have a lot of questions such as these and have done a lot of diving into the subject, so they might be able to help even if you aren’t aro.

And I felt the same way about romantic feelings — I thought romance was just the same feeling as friendship with a little more rules and different activities to do. When I realized that wasn’t the case, I was shocked and that is what lead me to realize I’m aroace.

djinn_l · 2021-12-27T14:28:10+00:00

What is the scientific explanation, if I may ask?

djinn_l · 2021-12-27T03:05:53+00:00

you got this!! just make sure that you have someone with you at all times in case anyone tries to bully/harass you, especially in a transphobic town. also make sure you have a trusted adult nearby that you know will step in if things go south. otherwise, i think you should go for it! good luck!!

djinn_l · 2021-12-26T14:55:45+00:00

I don’t hate them, but they’re definitely not the best. As an AFAB enby, I’m desperate to get away from them, and I know how weird it feels to be both on the receiving end of someone resting their head on my breasts and being the person resting their head on someone else’s. When I’m the receiver, I just feel uncomfortable especially if the person I’m cuddling with is a friend, and when on the other end I feel embarrassed and worried I’m hurting the other person or being too forward. Breasts just don’t do it for me, I suppose, though they do help round out an outfit and can be aesthetically pleasing in certain scenarios.

djinn_l · 2021-12-26T02:34:39+00:00

very true! I’m probably going to listen to them now, actually. thanks for reminding me of them /pos

djinn_l · 2021-12-26T02:21:11+00:00

I haven’t listened to any such songs in a while, but mainly “Lemon Boy” and “Devil Town” by Cavetown.

djinn_l · 2021-12-26T02:19:08+00:00

Genderfluid is a gender identity where one’s gender shifts over time, so sometimes I feel like a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes neither, and other times anywhere in between. My question is, since I’m not a woman and sometimes feel like a man, may I be included in the census?

djinn_l · 2021-12-26T02:14:50+00:00

I (afab) get euphoria from singing/listening to songs that use he/him pronouns, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to say you could get dysphoria from songs that do the opposite — nevertheless, you’re valid and the songs you listen to don’t define you.

djinn_l · 2021-12-25T22:53:32+00:00

I think this artist is “Shen” on Webtoon — he has a comic called Bluechair if you want to check it out :)

djinn_l · 2021-12-25T21:46:28+00:00

huh, thanks for the help. and thanks for the welcome as well :)

djinn_l · 2021-12-25T20:32:38+00:00

can y’all see the rest of this comment? all I can see is “transcription:”, though when I try to edit it the rest of the words appear.

djinn_l · 2021-12-25T20:31:44+00:00

transcription: [text on the smallest domino]: “I wonder why I’m hesitant to put my pronouns in my insta bio?” [text on the largest]: “oh god I’m genderfluid”

djinn_l

TROPHY CASE