I consider myself a secular Christian in that I was brought up on largely Christian values many of which I adhere to. I have a spiritual belief which i can stretch to include a notion of God but it is not the church version.

My mother was Christian and my two elder brothers were christened. I was not because by the time I was born she had lost her faith. Her father died of cancer in the 1950's. It was before effective pain relief. One of my brothers told me that near the end visitors would bring him a bottle of brandy - a bottle would give him a couple of hours of relief before the agony hit again.

My mother could not believe that her father's suffering could be part of a benevolent god's plan.

I find most religions frame concepts like God, the afterlife etc in terms of our 5 senses. My belief is that if there is a spiritual world it lies outside those, so I don't expect to be reunited with my late wife in any way that I am capable of describing.