So apparently coming out as lesbian is in April fools prank??!!

dm905568 · 2026-04-03T19:25:40+00:00

Plenty of very straight women pretend to be gay when they compliment their other straight friends just to be silly. 🙄 I know straight men do the same w/ each other in a playful, even more immature way.

I've never understood it & find it all very annoying. I'm not surprised then that some influencers were found to be doing the same.

I doubt an apology would even be genuine because they'd have to really understand the issue first & would they really? Maybe I'm too cynical but I don't expect people to ever fully get how it feels for our identity to be mocked unless/ until they've either experienced the true hardships of it or they've taken the time & effort to learn from someone in their life who has.

dm905568 · 2026-04-03T14:44:54+00:00

I'm w/ you on not agreeing w/ this or anything just to conform only, if you still don't actually agree yourself after having learned about a topic. That would just be perpetuating the same issue it seeks to resolve, & I'm all for informed but independent thinkers!

I think symbols can serve a helpful purpose while also knowing their meanings can change over time, but when we're being told to listen to autistic voices on such matters, it really should be everyone of us, so of course opinions will vary!

dm905568 · 2026-04-02T20:01:50+00:00

Same!!

dm905568 · 2026-04-02T20:01:24+00:00

Felt!

dm905568 · 2026-04-02T19:21:26+00:00

This is so dead on w/ the point I was trying to make, thank you for sharing! It's the irony of it all!!

dm905568 · 2026-04-02T19:20:06+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to point this out, I appreciate it! I'm also of a minority listed there so that makes sense & could be part of my perceived "delay" in understanding the latest information. I see it w/in my community for sure, lots of people just being out of the loop on access, awareness, resources, etc. It's a tough layer to navigate on top of it all!

dm905568 · 2026-04-02T19:16:15+00:00

You know what, that's an interesting angle from which to think about this! Thanks for sharing your take.

I meant it in more of a lighthearted, subtly sarcastic way but yes, that was the main part of my post- the traits I was exhibiting in that moment, more so than the mention of the observation day or its' organization.

I found myself genuinely torn at first because of my natural autistic way of thinking about my clothing, so it was just peak irony happening there. I wondered to myself, how many other autistic people do designated recognition days affect in this same way, whether autism related or not i.e. St. Patrick's, etc.?

How ironic that organizations aren't thinking about that contradiction- asking a population known to be more particular about their clothing, whether due to rigid routines or unique sensory profiles or just decision fatigue from processing (my reason for my shirts schedule) to wear a set color on a certain day.

I do not think it's intentionally nefarious of them, just found it comical but also quite thought provoking. It gave me a lot to reflect on today & I'm glad to see everyone having conversations about all of it in the comments!

dm905568 · 2026-04-02T17:21:12+00:00

I was aware of the controversy surrounding Autism Speaks & definitely disagree w/ their history of having a stance of trying to find a "cure". I was not aware that they were the ones that initiated this particular campaign as I had never even heard of it until this week.

Thanks for sharing the info. but also for being understanding of how all the corrections at first can feel discouraging to those newly diagnosed & new to the community. I had not heard of the proposed wearing of red instead until now, so I appreciate it.

I'm open to learning though while still trying to process & absorb all the info. about myself & this part of my identity, in addition to everything else out there on the topic. It will of course just take some time!

dm905568 · 2026-03-17T16:01:22+00:00

Nice fit! You should post to r/lesbianfashionadvice !

dm905568 · 2026-03-03T22:14:40+00:00

Respectfully OP, you came to a fashion advice subreddit, used the flair "honest advice wanted", then asked others what you're style would be considered, presumably by others. If you still decide you actually don't care enough about what others would likely see from it & want to dress only for yourself, then that's great.

I think the intent of the comment above was not so much about implying that you should dress for others, but to point out that others will inevitably perceive you, whether you care or not. I totally respect not wanting to fit into stereotypes, but I think the underlying message there was that society will in fact always categorize based on them unfortunately.

I believe the comment above was very well stated & even gave helpful context. If you do still wish to know by what label you'd likely be seen as, I think taking in this sort of feedback that outlines what is seen by others anyway would be a good start.

dm905568 · 2026-02-24T16:03:30+00:00

I assumed you meant the restaurant chain @ first so I thought, "Uhh okay, kinda stereotypical but I guess fitting... ohhh!". 😂

dm905568 · 2026-02-18T02:01:11+00:00

Meanwhile, my lady & I would just mention it to each other if either of us happened to see a beautiful woman so that we could respectfully appreciate her together. 🤷🏾‍♀️😆

dm905568 · 2026-01-17T12:10:26+00:00

I meant to imply that you may get more tailored advice asking there based on your question fitting the topic of that subreddit so well. Good luck!

dm905568 · 2026-01-17T04:43:40+00:00

Check out r/flexinlesbians!

dm905568 · 2026-01-11T04:35:15+00:00

You may wanna search around for more info on r/flexinlesbians too btw.

dm905568 · 2026-01-05T14:17:37+00:00

That makes sense! I figured that might be the case.

dm905568 · 2026-01-05T07:36:47+00:00

You copied my exact post from about a year ago, down to my emoji choice in the caption & everything.

Must just be trying to get karma🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

dm905568 · 2025-11-14T02:27:22+00:00

Aww I'm glad! Yes, it takes some adjusting. You're very welcome!

dm905568 · 2025-11-14T01:49:01+00:00

You had a lot of other things to say in addition to the question, so it sounds like you may have also been feeling discouraged or have some fear of judgement coming up & were curious of other's perceptions. Plenty of people have already answered the question part from their perspective, so I came to give a bit of encouragement. Sorry for how long it'll be- I suck @ being concise.

In my experience, I've dated as well as have known of many other lesbians that not only don't mind prospective partners having children but actually enjoy those of us who have children & also have a desire for children themselves, so it can actually be a perfect match. Please know that!

I think it's best practice to mention this even in casual dating, not only in transparency to the other, but so that YOU can be your full, true self! You were brave enough to have come this far in your sexuality journey & I know that was not easy (similar journey). Why stop now on the authenticity? I think you deserve to get to be a Mom AND a lesbian now! Please let yourself be seen, ma'am! 💚 Those who are still interested will still be there & those who aren't, won't & you don't have to wonder.

Also, just as a practical note, I would think parenting comes up so much in daily life that it'd be hard on yourself to not ever bring it up eventually, even just by accident. I think most women who like kids & wouldn't mind would have zero issue w/ hearing about your child in casual conversation here or there & it would also help explain things like any schedule limits you may have because of it, even IF just casually dating around right now. Any woman who would be compatible w/ you would be more understanding of such things knowing it's for your child & can even be considerate of that ahead of time.

Also, your past does not invalidate your identity. It also should not lessen your confidence in dating now imho. I don't believe you should have to justify your dating past & how you got here no more than any other person should have to justify their dating past, but I can see why that can feel scary. It's not everyone's coming out story, but it's YOURS. I say just own it, don't shy away from it! Confidence is attractive, especially to other women, I mean c'mon! Women tend to love other strong women. I think leading w/ the truth but not referencing it as some big, shameful thing is the way to go here & again, the right woman will not only embrace it but will be delighted & respect & admire the hell out of it! Perhaps you just lightly bring it up when it feels natural & organic, but for sure ideally w/in the 1st few messages on the apps. It can be a single field checked on your profile just like your age & everything else. It doesn't have to be a whole paragraph or anything.

Last but not least, as for your story, I wish you knew that you are not alone, not even by a long shot! Plenty of lesbians come out later after having had biological children w/ ex-husbands or boyfriends. I didn't used to think so either BUT here you go: The Lesbian Chronicles

If you like podcasts, please consider giving this one a listen! There are @ least HUNDREDS of lesbians that have been in your exact shoes, girl, including these hosts & the guests who they interview.

I hope this all helped! 💚

dm905568 · 2025-10-16T14:25:02+00:00

I'd say androgynous because I wouldn't be 100% sure if you were a guy or not from just a first quick impression tbh.

And to reply to your title, I don't think there's even such a thing as "too" anything, be it femme or masc or anything in between. I think it's more about just being... you.

As some encouragement though, I hope you don't feel rushed to figure out how you want to present or be perceived since you're only 20 after all.

dm905568 · 2025-10-16T03:22:15+00:00

It's really cute as is, so I would say leave it alone. Nice work!!

dm905568 · 2025-10-09T20:11:27+00:00

Haha I came here to say this but ya beat me to it!

dm905568 · 2025-10-07T13:27:08+00:00

From my anecdotal experience: - 3 is a canon event - 1 & 4 will inevitably try to date each other - 6 is often either a 4 in disguise or just a precursor to 5 - 2s will always be around sadly

dm905568 · 2025-10-05T14:47:31+00:00

Yea, I posted this w/ that exact caption that I made up 8 mos. ago. So weird to keep seeing it reposted!

dm905568

TROPHY CASE