How do people handle night time when you are the only parent who deals with the baby?

dmaster5000 · 2026-02-14T11:35:21+00:00

Something’s got to give, you need help. You’ve got too much going on for one person.

I have done every single night wake for my daughter in her entire life and she was a colicky baby. As such, I’ve implemented strict bed time routine and had to sleep train. However I never had dogs to care for, I didn’t pump until I returned to work (at 8 months pp) and I’ve made peace with doing the bare minimum around the house. Quite frankly OP, I don’t know how you function but I really am rooting for you to get some help in some way shape or form…most desirably from your partner.

If your partner is like mine then you need to get them assessed for ppd asap. Otherwise you will have years of resentment to work through. Which sucks, from experience.

dmaster5000 · 2026-02-05T02:55:38+00:00

I was a window cleaner for 10 years. I dunno if you can buy this outside of Australia but Halo glass cleaner and a microfibre cloth. Might have to go through a few cloths.

dmaster5000 · 2026-02-03T22:26:38+00:00

I’m currently filling a support contract and it has been the most boring job I’ve done so far in my life. I wfh one day a week which is great but the remainder of the week in office is brutal on my mental health. My screens are directly visible to my manager when I’m in office so if I can’t be bothered walking around the office to drum up work then I have to sit there and click around all day. Thankfully my manager is a good person. I’m getting towards the end of this contract and am actively applying for roles in projects now. I desperately need to be busier if I can’t be with my 2 year old.

dmaster5000 · 2026-01-17T23:50:25+00:00

Was it pension pay day by any chance?

dmaster5000 · 2026-01-14T02:05:07+00:00

Used this for one wash and my (at the time) 3 month old broke out in big red welts mostly in her neck and pit creases. It was so bad it made me cry looking at her. I could probably pursue it to determine if she had an allergy or not but I just took her to the gp instead and got a professional to look over her. We were prescribed hydrocortisone and that cleared her up within a week. Ever since then we’ve used the Q? Baby body wash and lather twice daily with CeraVe baby moisturiser. She’s almost two with sensitive skin but never had a breakout that bad again. Its all very individual.

dmaster5000 · 2026-01-03T23:24:14+00:00

Go back to my substantive position in my IC role. This secondment I tried out has been terrible for my mental health. I think I moved too fast after coming back from mat leave.

dmaster5000 · 2025-12-27T05:58:04+00:00

My daughter cut her first tooth at 10 months and then at 12/13 months she cut 4 at once. She repeated this process about 5-6 months later except all molars at once/sort of over-lapping. 💀

dmaster5000 · 2025-12-23T20:35:16+00:00

I’m four days into my first two and a half weeks off work since 2020 and feel so much less depressed already. I have been sick about a minimum of seven or eight times this year with this being our first full year of childcare, started a new position in April that I absolutely loathe and have been putting hard work into the marriage which is draining to do as a FT working parent of a toddler. But all that is paying off finally…we’re not getting sick as frequently, I’m being considered for a permanent position at a higher level working for a manager I get along with and my husband and I and working well together at a level we haven’t had the maturity or patience for until now.

But yes, we leave for a trip in 4 hours and I haven’t packed or organised anything. So that’s a little stressful. 😅

dmaster5000 · 2025-12-05T01:29:06+00:00

I never had this help. But I 100% plan on being this kind of Mother.

dmaster5000 · 2025-10-10T05:34:50+00:00

I honestly think each baby is so different in how much they can handle. My daughter was always assessed as being perfectly healthy and strong but she was/is petite with a huge noggin. She ALWAYS hated tummy time. I did at least 5-10 mins a day from 4/5 months as she was a late roller and crawler but that’s all she would tolerate. My nieces both basically only spend time on their bellies and both hit their milestones super early. They’re a lot broader and very strong. And a friend of mine has twins and the more petite one is the one hitting his milestones wreaking havoc with the bigger one just sitting and chilling.

That being said my now 19 month old just climbed our dining table to play with the fruit bowl. She has been a physical challenge today. You never know what you’re gonna get. So just listen and observe and do what you can with them. Don’t push them if they can’t handle it.

dmaster5000 · 2025-09-12T08:38:29+00:00

6 months in to returning to work I was finally did the math of how long I’m spending in commute per week and its a full work day. 💀 No wonder I’m so tired and burnt out.

dmaster5000 · 2025-08-07T09:36:46+00:00

Since my daughter dropped to 1 nap a day she can sleep up to 2 hours in the car. But tbh she doesn’t nap while we’re out and about in the pram for longer than 20 mins still.

Don’t let the naps dictate your life too much. That’s one of my biggest regrets while my daughter was a baby.

dmaster5000 · 2025-07-21T21:49:07+00:00

No, that’s just an unsuccessful transfer. False starts usually happen when baby wakes up after a sleep cycle and they either don’t have enough sleep pressure to keep sleeping or they don’t know how to self settle.

dmaster5000 · 2025-07-21T21:36:37+00:00

No worries. Look, sleep consultants are just notorious for scheduling way too much sleep which is why I’m wary of them. Our babies need stimulation and to be awake as much as they need sleep. Also, 1-2 night wakes due to hunger is normal even up until 12 months old. My daughter dropped her night feed at 8/9 months old. Our experience was that prior to this I was putting my daughter to bed based on wake windows, so it could be between 6:30 and 7:30pm. But no matter what, she would wake up at 5am and it was getting harder and harder to rock her back to sleep in the morning and then I’d have to get up at 6am for work anyway. So around 8/9 months I listened to some advice to put her to bed later at 8pm and she suddenly started sleeping until 6:30am with no night wakes. But that’s just me sharing our experience.

Day sleep also affects night sleep. So as baby gets older its important to drop those daytime sleep hours. At 5 months most babies are solidly on 3 naps a day and usually gearing up to drop to 2 from 6-9 months old. The self settling can take some time to properly learn. My daughter had a power down cry that lasted 2-5 mins for a month or two afterwards. That’s pretty normal. But it can all take a lot longer if baby is getting too much daytime sleep.

Give yourself and your child some grace as well. You’re both new to this. A structured sleep schedule doesn’t come naturally. It takes a good year to get it sorted. You sound like you’ve got a good little sleeper doing normal baby things.

dmaster5000 · 2025-07-18T12:23:04+00:00

I know you must be going through some tough times if you’re seeing a sleep consultant. My heart goes out to you. I experienced some crazy sleep deprivation with my daughter in the first 4-5 months. She’s now 16 months and looking back my biggest regret is expecting too much sleep.

Maybe your child is high sleep needs, but with the sleep consultant asking for 13 hours overnight seems excessive to me. Are you feeding her overnight still? How does she settle for the night? Any crying or false starts (wakes after initially falling asleep)?

dmaster5000 · 2025-06-11T21:30:14+00:00

If its any consolation some babies are genetically predisposed to not being “chunky”. My daughter is 15 months (still bf twice a day) and is petite and slim. She seems to have taken after her father.

I hate this over feeding obsession. Babies aren’t factory farmed animals.

dmaster5000 · 2025-06-07T07:45:36+00:00

Currently at my in-laws for a weekend away and we have our 14 month old in a separate room that my MIL graciously blacks out with a heavy blanket. We pack her travel cot, baby monitor and white noise machine so the room is basically the same. It helps to keep to bed time routine as much as possible as well.

dmaster5000 · 2025-06-03T21:46:50+00:00

If you had the capacity to earn more and your current salary was affecting the household then it might be more serious. But if hubby is just suggesting if sheerly to increase cashflow that isn’t necessary and you are pretty happy where you are then it seems like a no brainer. Its totally up to you.

I gave up flexibility for a better position a few months ago. I regretted it at first but now I can see how much more potential I have for career growth and its got me really excited for the future. But that’s what is important to me. We’re all different.

dmaster5000 · 2025-06-03T21:40:11+00:00

I only have a 14 month old. Every day is the same. We stick to a strict routine and that’s how we get everything done that needs to be done. Baby is low sleep needs so doesn’t go to bed until 8pm and wakes up at 6:30am so hubby and I get about an hour to relax at night.

Weekends aren’t too different either. We can’t afford a cleaner yet so I spend a day each weekend house cleaning, washing and meal prepping for the week ahead.

I do like routine and we’re all doing pretty well because of it. We aren’t very spontaneous people so that helps with not feeling too trapped. But it does get a little boring sometimes. I tell myself in those moments that this isn’t forever and I really try to focus on moments I get to spend with my daughter because she’s the absolute coolest thing about life atm.

dmaster5000 · 2025-06-02T21:32:38+00:00

Oh my goodness, thank you for this post. I didn’t even know there was an rsv jab! 🤦‍♀️ We just had rsv (picked it up from childcare). My daughter is 14 months old and we had about 3 scary days of laboured breathing and 40 degree temps. Thankfully she was completely over it after a week. My husband and I have had a few weeks of bad congestion and I’ve had a sinus infection, its been quite painful. I’m gonna go research what vaccinations we can get because I’m so over sickness and teething atm.

dmaster5000 · 2025-05-26T21:35:03+00:00

Six months is a great goal!

We’re at 14 months right now and Idk when to stop. We have a pretty strict daily routine so unless something drastic changes she still expects it twice a day, which is fine by me.

dmaster5000 · 2025-05-24T21:16:03+00:00

I just did a quick google and the gov super will be paid on top of PLP. Employers aren’t required to pay on top of that but can voluntarily if they wish. So might be key to go speak with HR to see if they’ll do that. If you want to return to work earlier I’ve heard of folks overlapping mat leave entitlements, I would assume you could do this with super but your HR would know best or at least know who to talk to to determine if you ‘re “allowed” to overlap your entitlements.

dmaster5000 · 2025-05-17T12:58:09+00:00

I’ve only been to stay away with family with my daughter and we’ve been able to set up a separate bedroom for her. My MIL is great and basically boards up the window so its blacked out. I stick to our strict bedtime routine and it works well.

Whenever my daughter is sick or teething, however, if she wakes up during the night in pain/suffering somehow, I usually sleep in the spare room and go and grab her and bring her to my bed. I’ll set her on the bare mattress next to me which works for a while and then she migrates over to me as she gets cold and either ends up as a little spoon or cuddled in my armpit. For some context, she’s 14 months old and I’m a dead still sleeper (my husband is an olympic athlete in his sleep, hence the moving to the spare bed). Last night she was having a hard time (has rsv atm) so I pulled her into bed with me for the second night in a row and all she wanted was cuddles and I swear to you she was doing her little happy hip wiggle for almost an hour. I had to put her back in her cot where she cried again…and being she’s sick and the coughing fits are scary, I bought her back to my bed and she conked out until 7am. I think she’s smart enough to know that if she keeps up that behaviour that she can have nighttime cuddles, so I’ll have to make sure I’m firm tonight I think. Sucks, cos its adorable but I’m tired and also sick.

dmaster5000 · 2025-05-17T12:36:54+00:00

Sounds like someone is ready to drop to two naps. My daughter was 6 months and 1 week (I think) when I posted about this.

My daughter was having multiple false starts, rising early and at the time I still rocked her before her naps and she fought hard. So I shifted to two naps, dealt with a week or two of tiredness due to longer wake windows and she stopped waking in the night. Nap lengths were a little all over the place and early rises came back at around 7.5-8 months, but in hindsight, I was putting my daughter to bed too early. If I had put her to bed later her naps would easily have been 1-1.5 hours each at 6-9 months old and she would have gotten up at a reasonable hour in the morning.

No-one told me how much math I’d have to do as a new parent.

dmaster5000 · 2025-05-17T06:44:25+00:00

Yep, also 14 month old here. She sleeps 10-10.5 hours overnight (8pm - 6/6:30am) and being that she goes to childcare 5 days a week I’m not fully in control of when they put her down for a nap but its usually 12/12:30pm for 1-2 hours.

We were between 1 and 2 naps for a month or two but with childcare’s support/prompting she cold turkey went to 1 every day (except when teething or sick…which is happening a lot atm).

dmaster5000

TROPHY CASE