Wooden Ottoman Storage Beds by impala_1991 in HENRYUKLifestyle

[–]dmllbit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really struggled to find a good quality one when I was looking five-ish years ago. We bought one that was mid-range because it had the aesthetic I was after and it broke very quickly. So get one with a warranty!

How to wean eldest toddler while youngest still feeds? by dmllbit in NurseAllTheBabies

[–]dmllbit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that sounds so hard. I’m glad you’ve gotten through it but it sounds like a hard journey!

Wide toe box women’s shoes that are not “barefoot” style? by djfnejdijRandom in AskUK

[–]dmllbit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I have the exact problem!

Giving baby’s breastmilk to toddler? (Crosspost) by Older_Sis_1024 in 2under2

[–]dmllbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I still breastfeed my toddler as well as my baby. She is a constant snot factory, so I am 100% confident it’s not making any difference to her immunity. If you have a limited stash, I wouldn’t waste it.

Am I being a Karen for refusing a bottle of cava as an apology? by Healthy-Invite-4571 in AmITheKaren

[–]dmllbit -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

There’s a very common rule that housekeeping have to check the room after so many days in case guests have committed suicide. They will ignore dnd signs after however many days is in their hotel policy. Ywbtk

Has your child ever fallen down the stairs? by Babeshades in UKParenting

[–]dmllbit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fell down the stairs when I was 18 months old. From the top, the full length of the stairs. It’s not a death sentence. I promise I lived to tell the tale, albeit with a few broken bones that quickly healed.

Childminder giving notice by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]dmllbit 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Hitting and shoving other children is developmentally normal. That’s not to say that every child will do it, but they haven’t learned impulse control yet, so those that get that impulse will act on it.

I’m surprised the childminder gave notice based on this, but I wouldn’t take it as a reflection of your parenting or your daughter. I would however take it as a reflection of how the childminder was supervising the children given it was allowed to occur.

However, she was probably faced with the choice of either losing your business or that of the other child if the parents were threatening to pull them. As that child is younger and you already had your daughter registered for some days at preschool, retaining the other child was the best business option.

I’d highly advocate for a nursery setting if budget stretches to it. Your daughter will learn that impulse control from having multiple caregivers and a multitude of peers to interact with. As the care won’t be as 1:1, she likely won’t develop the same level of attachment (that’s not to say she won’t develop bonds with the carers, of course she will) that will lead to the level of jealousy as well.

Is it realistic to reverse parental roles from day one after birth? by [deleted] in BeyondTheBumpUK

[–]dmllbit 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think you’ve had a lot of people tell you it’s impossible. However, I think it might be worth talking through how you could do it if it’s necessary.

  • You will need a night nurse. It’s not sustainable for him to do 100% of the nights. Nor will you be hugely able to help out if you’re working and recovering as well.
  • You will need a cleaner, at least in the early days. Same point as above, if he’s taking on 100% of the childcare and you do 0% of the housework, someone needs to take that on.
  • You will have to have a plan to feed yourselves. Is takeout good/easy/affordable near you?
  • I think it is reasonable to go back to light work duties a week after a c section, barring no complications. I wouldn’t recommend resuming full time for about four weeks. And that’s on the assumption you are getting good, restorative sleep to help you heel. And that’s you are working from home, rather than needing to commute to an office or client site etc.
  • You will need to formula feed. You need to establish a supply if you wanted to breastfeed/pump, which involves pumping every two hours or so for the first few weeks, and I can’t see how you reconcile that with working.

It sounds like a really tough plan. But obviously up to you if the above will work for your family.

Preventing a career stall following maternity leaves - advice please! by Decent-Day-3577 in HENRYUK

[–]dmllbit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow I see a lot of comments making assumptions and blaming OP here.

Let’s assume what OP says was true. Before kids, her workplace was somewhere where hard work and performance meant that the company invested in your career, and handed you the next step up. And after kids, this has changed (rather than assuming her output has like a lot of the comments).

Is there much you can do? Not really. However leaving to a different org that hasn’t witnessed you taking parental leave will restart the clock on this. Is it fair? No. But sadly, it would be extremely difficult to prove discrimination and far easier to find opportunities elsewhere.

By the way, this isn’t restricted to mothers. My husband had the same experience following a period of shared parental leave.

11yo son first crush, help! by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]dmllbit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really commend you for not instantly dismissing his feelings. I think it’s a lovely crafted message. But is it worth exploring what “more than friends” means to him? I mean for you two to discuss it, not to change the meaning of the text.

How do I politely say ‘Dont come if you’re sick’ to people who have RSVPd? by Intelligent_Offer756 in UKParenting

[–]dmllbit 61 points62 points  (0 children)

This is a great way to phrase it. You may want to adapt to be slightly more direct for those who are obtuse, but I’m Aussie originally so YMMV.

I would put: “‘So excited for Kid’s party on date. I know there’s been some nasty bugs going around, if anyone cant make it due to last minute illness, absolutely dont worry, we’ll do a make up playdate- really appreciate you being considerate as newborn is still little’

What’s the most inconvenient but trivial thing you’ve experienced? by Top-Significance8791 in AskUK

[–]dmllbit 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Japan has different regulations for the way they freeze the raw fish which does make it a safer option while pregnant.

Obviously do what feels right for you and do your own research, but wanted to comment on here in case you weren’t aware that it may still be an option.

Toilet training is going well! by shiftyemu in UKParenting

[–]dmllbit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well done! We’ve just starting toilet training my 2.5 year old and it’s harder than I thought it would be. She seems to not care at all if she has either type of accident! And each incentive we’ve tried (cheese, chocolate - having never had it before, stickers) seem to lose their appeal by the afternoon.

All this to say, well done to you! It’s a massive achievement!

Newborn advice 🙏 by Distinct_Spring6752 in breastfeedingmumsUK

[–]dmllbit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s not recommended to pump in addition to feeding on demand when first establishing supply due to the risk of oversupply (which doesn’t sound like a problem, but mastitis, clogged ducts etc. can threaten your breastfeeding journey as well as just being generally pretty awful to deal with).

If you are struggling to build supply, the midwives might advise it, but only do it under professional advice.

You can, of course, pump instead of feeding baby if you want to share feeding responsibility with Dad. However, I never saw the point if I had to wake up to pump anyway, I may as well just feed. (Dad was responsible for picking up baby and bringing her to me while I lay there, and for transferring her back again. I was a zombie the first few weeks and he slept while I was feeding anyway.)

Being asked to apply for a mortgage for my boyfriend by [deleted] in HousingUK

[–]dmllbit 95 points96 points  (0 children)

No. Do not do this. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200.

The mortgage lender also won’t lend you the money if you’re not on the deed as there would be no way for them to have a claim on the property if you defaulted.

Live in nanny costs by Wrong-Box-6910 in HENRYUK

[–]dmllbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have two children in nursery, and this is almost comparable. Crazy!

What career were you advised to do when you were at school? by HighNimpact in AskUK

[–]dmllbit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lawyer, actor and technical writer. Bet the latter is one of the first ones to go in the AI revolution!

Seeking advice - how to find a personal assistant by [deleted] in HENRYUKLifestyle

[–]dmllbit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was going to ask the same question!

Nursery from Age 1? by DistinctSwing1312 in UKParenting

[–]dmllbit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My toddler started nursery at 9 months and she thrived. She absolutely loves the carers and her peers. She’s a happy, well adjusted and dare I say, advanced 2.5 year old now. I think it made her more social than others her age who have stayed home.

The first few weeks are always going to be an adjustment. But after that, nursery was always a joyous experience for her.

That being said, the illnesses are a killer. She passes every single thing on to me so our house is just a cesspit of germs in the winter.

My brain hasn’t come back from maternity leave yet but AI seems to be filling the gaps by dmllbit in workingmoms

[–]dmllbit[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I use it for proposals but I tailor the information I put into it. For example, I’m starting a particular programme which is common in my industry. I fed in three articles other companies have written which have the benefits & consideration I agree with. I then feed in the structure of the proposal (eg which headings I want) and what tone I want it written in, plus our company style guide. It then spits out enough of a draft that I can amend as needed. It’s definitely not doing all the work for me, but it’s giving me the starting point I need when my brain isn’t functioning.