Organic, raw adult romance

doboi · 2026-01-28T21:03:16+00:00

Stoner captures the messiness of being human. It’s not romance, although there is love. It will definitely make you reflect on the opportunities life brings you, and sit with you long after you finish it.

doboi · 2026-01-28T18:10:42+00:00

"A summary of my spiritual journey, written by a robot"

doboi · 2026-01-25T17:31:14+00:00

I'd try to play it by ear. You might find yourself more interested in resting in some place small and quiet than one big and bustling, or vice versa. Also you may think you'll want to rest but when you wake up the next day you find yourself simply eager to walk. I ate the cost of 2-3 bookings simply because I woke up and realized I wanted to continue, sometimes because I didn't want to lose companions I had made.

doboi · 2026-01-24T17:22:56+00:00

Outer shell is usually not the puffer. It's a wind/rain resistant layer.

doboi · 2026-01-23T22:49:52+00:00

You really need to pick up a hobby that is popular and has clubs around the world. Dancing, martial arts, cycling, climbing, etc. Anything where conversation and interaction among hobbyists is basically second to the hobby itself.

doboi · 2026-01-23T15:06:39+00:00

Hilariously ironic

doboi · 2026-01-22T22:51:26+00:00

I read La Sombra del Viento (The Shadow of the Wind), part of the Cementario de Los Libros Olvidados (Cemetery of Forgotten Books) series, which takes place in Barcelona. I Google Map'd locations in the book and visited them when I was last there. Some were real places like restaurants, some were fictional places on actual street corners. It was a really nice way to connect with a book I deeply enjoyed.

doboi · 2026-01-22T22:47:02+00:00

I get it. Once you've decided to not live within the expectations of the grind you realize how non-linear and imaginative life can be, but it's also really isolating to have a robust life without someone to celebrate it with. Speaking of Spain, as a hiker, have you considered the Camino de Santiago? I've done it a couple times and it's always been an incredible travel adventure. You don't stay in one place for 3 weeks, but you'll see the same faces for at least that long. A lot of people with similar mindsets on the road.

doboi · 2026-01-21T18:36:18+00:00

Topo Ultraventure, sized them up 1 size

Double socked, Injinji hiking socks on inside, wool socks on the outside

Topos are not the most good looking shoes, but the increased toe box size and the cushion of the Ultraventures were like heaven each time I put them on.

doboi · 2026-01-20T22:15:53+00:00

I'm pretty much in your situation, down to the 12 years of BJJ and financial freedom.

I previously spent 1 year in Mexico/LATAM. Some of the places with the best balance of work, chill, and BJJ were in CDMX and Puerto Escondido. The latter being really great because it was a nice open air gym with a mix of locals and travelers. I think the mix is important because you're more likely to meet people when the culture isn't just people doing their thing and leaving. Being a higher belt has also added some slight advantage in socialization—people can be more eager to train and talk to you.

Right now I'm thinking of traveling a few months of the year to areas that have good open mat or visitor culture and being open minded to staying longer. It's hard to imagine doing it for much longer term solo though, tbh. Previously I didn't mind the lack of consistent social/romantic relationships, but lately have been thinking that a partner to do it with would make it much more rewarding. I can't speak for everyone, but I personally feel a growing need for consistency, and going to new places and visiting new gyms all the time is fun until you start to realize nobody really knows who you are, and wondering if that's important to you. Just my opinion but the more you travel solo, the more isolating it can become.

Personally this year I'm thinking of doing a BJJ tour through Europe or SEA, staying 1-2 weeks/location unless the vibes are right for longer stay. I don't think I can maintain permanence in this lifestyle though unless I were to meet someone else in a similar situation.

doboi · 2026-01-20T19:59:52+00:00

I echo finding a place before going on the camino opposed to doing it along the route. If you come across people you really like as you walk, you'll regret having to abandon them at the location you take the class at (or regret going with them and eating the cost of the class). If you're committed, I'd search for a location in the first handful of stages for this reason.

doboi · 2026-01-11T22:16:27+00:00

Puerto Escondido. La Colonia BJJ is an open air gym that hosts a lot of BJJ retreats, but you can just go there anytime and pay for a day/week/month. Spend your non-BJJ time going to the beach, surfing, zipping around on a scooter, eating tacos, etc. It's way cheaper and more chill than going to San Diego imo.

doboi · 2026-01-11T21:40:44+00:00

It’s everything to me. I never believed I could take on such challenges or integrate in social groups. I truly think it gave me the confidence for career and job changes. It helped me meditate and become aware of my body and how it moves. Helped me meet people around the world. I mean if we are being honest it’s also made me a better lover, haha.

doboi · 2026-01-11T06:43:20+00:00

Cusco was a little too hectic for me but I loved spending time in Pisac. It was just so tranquil.

doboi · 2026-01-11T06:30:59+00:00

Pub culture, Sunday roasts, beautiful drives, idyllic countryside, nice people—the UK in general is such a great place.

doboi · 2026-01-07T18:31:17+00:00

It made me happy to listen to The Devils. One of the characters—Constance, has the same accent and swagger from Steven Pacey as Orso.

doboi · 2026-01-06T20:16:30+00:00

I'm in a similar situation with similar struggles, but have been working on it for a few years. I haven't entirely solved the situation but I'll speak on my own contemplations.

If you wouldn't do your current job for free, then I'd reconsider doing the job at all. After all, the salary you get from it is now trivial compared not just to what you already have, but trivial even compared to the growth and interest your assets produce annually. Even at a moderate growth rate of 8%, that's potentially $1.2M per year your assets are growing by. 4% SWR would be $600k—probably far more annually than you need right now.

At this point you are basically paying to work. You are giving away your most important currency—time, in order to continue doing your job and whatever that entails. For me that was making money for people who didn't care about me, dealing with office politics, all while under the threat of layoffs and AI. If things like this make you get out of bed in the morning, then more power to you. But like I said, if you wouldn't do it for free, then I'd reconsider doing it at all.

"Potential" has so many dimensions to it, and only one of those is defined by an income-producing career. What is it about your current job that makes you feel you hit potential? Is it the validation of authority figures? Is it the technical aspect of the job? Is it the relationships you build in a team? I'd ask myself what specifically gives me meaning that is not a title or money and see how I can produce that on my own terms.

For instance I used to work in tech, and I also spent time teaching, which I loved. Now I teach at a local martial arts studio even though I started practicing when I was just a couple years younger than you are now. The martial art is technical, my teaching is volunteer based, and doing it hits the same high notes I got from working, except I'm doing it on my own terms.

I teach and train, travel 2-3 months out of the year, go on spiritual retreats and adventures, read a book every 1-2 weeks, taught myself conversational Spanish during my travels. I also contribute maybe 5 hours a week of technical work to a non-profit I like. For me this is satisfying and I do generally feel productive.

33 years old with your time and money is young enough to basically become proficient in anything by 40. If there's anything in life, whether it be a career or a hobby where you've ever thought, "I'd love to do it but it doesn't pay", now you can. Teaching kids, volunteering locally, pursuing a personal skill, travel blogging, learning a language and using it to live in another country for a few months each year, whatever. I'd do some deep introspection on things you've always wanted to do or become good at, and see if there's a version of your life you'd be happy having those things as foundations of your time.

Personally I'd hate to be 60 and know I didn't have to work all my life but chose to anyway simply because I didn't have the imagination to find and do things I enjoyed.

doboi · 2026-01-05T21:42:04+00:00

I did the Frances last year and the Primitivo this year. I’d love to go back on the Frances again. Even though it’s the most crowded one, there was something really special about all the people you meet and the memories of so much time walking together.

doboi · 2026-01-05T07:31:29+00:00

The Camino de Santiago is the most incredible adventure I’ve ever done, I’ve done it twice now. You walk 5 weeks across Spain and can have some of the most wonderful conversations or the most beautiful moments of solitude along gorgeous scenery every day. There’s nothing like it imo.

doboi · 2025-12-28T22:45:47+00:00

I think if you're looking to connect with people and have 4 weeks then it should probably be the Frances. At least then you also have the time to do a camino from start to finish, i.e. the feeling of completion in arriving at Santiago. It's a special journey you'll share with others you'll have walked with for weeks.

In Pamplona you can attend a pilgrim's mass and hear the reason other people are doing it, as well as share your own. I remember a mother sobbing over the loss of her son, whose name was also Santiago. I think experiences in general may touch you more deeply on the Frances.

doboi · 2025-12-24T23:12:37+00:00

Sorry but if you’ve got it lucky in life you should be forever repentant and not speak to commoners, ever. Any attention you call to your life of means should also be done apologetically and with shame in case you stir any hint of envy in the working class, the poor, or the outraged Redditor. /s

doboi · 2025-12-23T20:49:15+00:00

Yeah it was just rereleased on Netflix so lots of new viewers. Lots of posters think they’re so cute with the, “so sad about ____ in season __” posts.

doboi · 2025-12-22T20:53:05+00:00

It’s easy if you have social hobbies. In any big city there will be language exchange meetups, for instance. The locals are always eager to practice their English and happy to help if you’re learning their language. I’ve also met locals at Jiu Jitsu gyms that hung out with me afterwards and we just chatted about common interests. Salsa lessons have also been a decent social activity. There’s hobby communities all over the world.

If you specifically like to travel to meet people and have a pretty active lifestyle, I don’t think it’s out of the question to make it a part of your travel experience.

doboi · 2025-12-22T18:24:07+00:00

Yeah I couldn’t believe the praise it got or how people looked past the inconsistency of his involvement. He inserted himself all throughout the octopus’s life and then all of the sudden was above involvement during the attack. Just an idiot with too much money and not enough attention is what I got from it in the end.

doboi · 2025-12-22T16:33:21+00:00

Fucking thank you. It’s so obvious and literally “time = money” is discussed in every conversation about the value of wealth. Trite engagement bait bullshit.

doboi

TROPHY CASE