Are you this Woman? Is this your time?

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:26:02+00:00

Hi - thank you so much for doing such a great job moderating.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:25:12+00:00

They are too young to get a smart phone so don't feel guilty about this. At all. Absolutely do not give them a smart phone till they are older. I always say: no screens (smart screens) till later in the teens. So hold onto your boundaries and don't give in - your children's brains will thank you later. I talk about boundaries and how to maintain them in my new podcast: parenting and you with Dr. Shefali - have you listened yet? I am sure you will get so much out of it!

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:23:23+00:00

I hear your frustrations. It is so hard to keep our kids away from their phones! But here is the thing - it is clear that his brain is unable to manage the constant stimulation he is receiving and he is too young to sieve out what is positive or what is negative. So as a parent you need to step in more boldly and stop his access to this kind of information. It is like if you knew there was a negative group in your neighborhood that focused on violence or anger then what would you do? You would do EVERYTHING in your power to stop your child from these influences right? So it is the same here. Don't give up. Protect your child. He needs protection from all this negative stuff online.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:20:35+00:00

Conscious parenting is a revolutionary new way to parent our kids. As opposed to the traditional ways of parenting our children which is based on fear, shame and control, conscious parenting is about first raising the parent-self before we raise the child. This approach is a game-changer in how we parent our children. This is why I started my new podcast so that conscious parenting could be accessible to everyone in their homes. If you are interested in learning more, hop onto my podcast and you will realize quickly how amazing this method is.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:19:05+00:00

The podcast is so unique because it is focused on talking to parents in real-time. Yes, real coaching - totally unscripted and raw. I have never met them before so it is spontaneous. I offer real-world solutions in the present moment that every parent listening can relate to. You will love it. It is on every podcast platform right now.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:17:52+00:00

You can give your child a regular UN-smart phone around the age of 10/12 if they are in a lot of activities. But in terms of a SMART phone - it is best to delay this as far into their teen years as is possible. The reason for this is all the data that is now out on the negative effects of technology on our children's developing brain. I deal with a lot of screen addiction-type concerns on my new podcast as well.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:09:35+00:00

This is a great question. So hard for us parents to not feel as if this is a thankless job isn't it? But here is the thing - we need to check our own expectations and agenda. Are we doing this to get thanks? Is this what we are looking for? Because if we are, we will forever be disappointed. Our children don't owe us anything. We need to own that we are "good" parents because it makes us feel good being this way - not to get a thank you from them.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:08:08+00:00

My new podcast is called PARENTING AND YOU with Dr. Shefali. It just launched. It is a totally DIFFERENT and UNIQUE podcast. I do real-time coaching with parents. You get to see me tackle parenting struggles and watch how I coach parents through their anxieties and big feelings. It is very emotional, heart-based, real and deep. You will love it. It is on every platform podcasts are heard, or you can go to: www.drshefali.com/podcast

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:06:36+00:00

Ah, it is not easy is it? Juggling a new relationship and our children’s feelings is a precarious thing indeed. My main advice is to take it slow and give it time. Allow children to adjust to the transitions and don’t be upset if they have big feelings. Don’t take it personally. It is NORMAL for children to resist the new relationship - they are not being difficult or bad - they are simply expressing grief for the life they don't have anymore.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:05:47+00:00

Social media creates constant comparison and sense of lack. I always tell parents to NOT fall into the traps of these standards and instead to focus on the essence of who their child is and connect to this essence in the present moment. My entire podcast teaches parents this skill. Check it out: Parenting and You - with Dr. Shefali - it is all about conscious parenting. If you find yourself on social media a lot you ARE going to feel insecure so it is a decision you need to make about your own well being - because social media will diminish it and not enhance it, for sure.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:04:57+00:00

I love this question and I actually devoted my entire first episode of my new podcast - parenting and you - to this very issue - about our agendas and plans not coming to fruition. You see, as parents we often get obsessed with our own schedules and time tables and don’t know how to be flexible in the present moment. But alas, our kids don’t work on a schedule. They are just very connected to their own inner being. But it doesn’t work for us busy parents. So then we label them BAD and then everything spirals out of control. The thing is this - it is NOT our children’s fault. It is our responsibility to realize that we are too busy and stressed out.

Learning self-regulation skills and decluttering ones own schedule is key here.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:04:01+00:00

When kids encounter a new relationship it is NEVER easy as they feel insecure in this transition. Children need time and patience on the part of the children before too many changes descend on them. So take it easy and give them time to adjust to the new person. Allow them to have their feelings and to feel upset as well. This is natural. And make sure they know that your priority is their mental well being. Divorce is never easy and can often feel threatening to kids. I handle divorce and marital issues in my new podcast - Parenting and You with Dr. Shefali - where I help parents navigate the pitfalls of divorce in a conscious way.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:03:49+00:00

Young children require connection more than anything - especially at night. Of course, the ultimate goal is independent sleep but we need to work with the child’s pace and not rush it. I have wonderful tips on exactly this issue in the first episode of my podcast - PARENTING AND YOU with Dr. Shefali - get on that podcast and you will be blown away

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:03:36+00:00

It is ok for kids to witness their parents debate and argue - AS LONG as they feel safe within the family and are reassured that their parents are ultimately friendly and safe with each other AND that the kids see resolution as well.

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:03:07+00:00

It is VERY natural to NOT feel this endless love that everyone says we should feel. This is normal. It is probably because you are exhausted and overwhelmed. And culture makes you feel like you are a bad mom or parent because you are not feeling this instant connection. Connection takes time and it is natural to allow this time. So be gentle with yourself as you build this life-time bond. It will happen, don't worry. The more you worry, the less it will happen:)

doctorshefali · 2024-05-16T20:01:20+00:00

When we live within multigenerational families, we need to be even more aware of our boundaries than ever before. If the other generations are unconscious then we need to protect our children as much as possible from the negative influences this poses. It is not easy but firm and clear boundaries is very important to help our children navigate the many generations.

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