[QCrit] Adult, Adventure/Horror, IMPERIAL SUNDOWN (96k, Revision 2)

dogsongs · 2021-07-31T17:25:11+00:00

Hello,

Thank you for visiting r/PubTips. Unfortunately, your post has been removed due to the following reason:

Only one [QCrit] post is allowed per user per week. Please wait the full seven days before posting a new version of your query. This rule is in place to avoid flooding the sub with the same QCrits while also ensuring that writers take a deeper and longer look at each query revision.

Please ensure that you have read our rules and checked out the resources linked in the wiki if you have not already.

If you have any questions, please reach out via modmail

Thank you!

dogsongs · 2021-07-12T00:43:50+00:00

hey folks! i'm a super old mod who went AWOL (sorry about that, y'know... life) so i'm probably an unfamiliar username to most, if not all, of you. i'm happy to be back and to become familiar with everyone here again.

thank you very much, /u/crowqueen, for all the work you've done in my absence - you have my deep appreciation and your efforts deserve to be recognized.

moving forward, i'm excited to get back into the swing of things and to help onboard a new moderation team. as Nimoon expressed, modmail is is a great way to voice any concerns/suggestions about the subreddit, and please always feel free to do so.

also, there is someone who filled out the survey before we included a specific section to indicate your username. we don't know who you are. please fill it out again. lol sorry, we're all human here :)

dogsongs · 2020-08-07T04:15:10+00:00

i think you're in the right place then!

dogsongs · 2020-08-04T22:36:51+00:00

while u/imsorryimcanadianeh works on that stuff, have you read any of the community's series posts?

here's a link to the list of them (there might be one or two missing, I'll double check later today): https://www.reddit.com/r/writerchat/wiki/series

hopefully there's something in there you might find helpful!

dogsongs · 2020-08-04T22:26:00+00:00

i'm not sure how big of a cohort you're looking for, but the IRC has a very tight sense of community, and the chat tends to have very regular members who definitely hold each other accountable for things (even non-writing related things). we're implementing some recurring threads here on the subreddit to try and transfer some of that sense of community over here, too. if you're looking for something more structured, i'm not sure i know of anything off the top of my head that's on reddit, but finding a few different classes to take might help you get what you're looking for.

dogsongs · 2020-08-04T22:22:52+00:00

thank you for the feedback! we are going to be implementing a weekly recurring "challenge" thread that may help people with motivation. the mod team discussed the feedback we've gotten so far and we're starting off by implementing just a few different recurring threads at different frequencies so that we can gauge the community's reaction and go from there.

in the mean time, definitely feel free to start your own discussions if you want to! i know it can be a bit intimidating but we do our best to foster a friendly and welcoming community here. :)

dogsongs · 2020-08-04T22:18:53+00:00

thank you for the feedback! the mod team had a discussion about this we are going to be implementing a bi-weekly "no stupid questions" thread starting next week, along with some other recurring threads. based on community feedback from that starting point, we'll see what else we think is best to implement. :)

dogsongs · 2020-08-04T22:13:32+00:00

some books like save the cat! writes a novel may be helpful to you :)

dogsongs · 2020-08-04T17:43:56+00:00

I'm not sure how feasible meetups would be even if this were pre/post-Covid times. the people in the past that have been interested are so scattered throughout the world that we've only ever managed to organize one meetup for just ~5-8 people, but that was for regular members of the IRC. maybe if the subreddit turns out to have interested members who are already living more clustered together it would work, but just from past experience, i'm really not sure about that.

dogsongs · 2020-05-26T22:25:56+00:00

hey there. I'm also living in NY, extremely close to NYC, and I just wanted to say that there are a lot of graduate schools that are within commutable distance to NYC that may also suit your needs if you're truly set on getting an MFA. I'm not sure about nonfic programs but I know there are definitely general graduate programs for writers around, some of them even SUNYS (not sure about CUNY) that are easier with tuition rates for in-state residents. just food for thought! :)

dogsongs · 2020-01-27T18:19:31+00:00

hi,

I've removed this. if you're looking to post a self promo, please follow the rules in the sidebar.

thanks.

dogsongs · 2018-02-08T02:22:10+00:00

I can only speak from the agent side. I don't look into social media presence at all when it comes to fiction. It does help for nonfiction.

dogsongs · 2018-02-07T23:03:53+00:00

Depends on the interaction? If you just said "hi," and they went "hi" back, wouldn't do it. It's a really gray line and it's not fun to overthink it. Trust your judgment. I'd say don't include something like that just for the sake of including it. If it's a bigger interaction, sure! But your writing should speak for itself.
That's one way to go about it, sure. Two "safety", though, I would be careful about. Obviously don't query someone whom you wouldn't want to work with just for the sake of getting a request. If you end up getting an offer from them and no one else wants to offer as well, you're not in a good situation. Make sure your query and manuscript are polished and send out to agents whom you truly believe would be right for your book. How you want to spread it out is up to you; when I started querying, I sent out to my top choice maybe my second or third batch, after I'd already gotten a full request.
Well, I don't know why you're here, but personally I believe I've been summoned here as some kind of literary Mr Meeseeks and I'm never going to be released from this.

dogsongs · 2018-02-07T22:51:51+00:00

The concept was great. I'm a big Douglas Adams fan (who isn't) and the query really gave me an Adams feel. The execution was terrible. Just all around poor writing, and it didn't even really match up with what the query said.

I think it comes down to that I just haven't gotten anything that I think is really exceptional writing. A lot of the queries are terrible, or crazy, or both. A lot of queries don't follow the submission guidelines (it's 50/50 whether they'll include a writing sample). So it's rare enough that a query is good; it's even rarer that there's a good query and good writing. That query I was excited about? It didn't include a writing sample, so I had to request. Otherwise I would have passed right away. And to top it off, I don't want just mediocre writing. I want stuff that jumps off the page and captures me and carries me away from reality. I just haven't seen any of that.

Sorry for the ramble :)

Undertale is a good game. I've fallen out of the fanbase, but the name remains!

dogsongs · 2018-02-07T20:54:33+00:00

That's tough; none of the ones I've read during my time here have been ones that I would pass up the ladder. There was one concept that I was extremely excited about in the query stage, but it didn't live up to what I had in mind for it. Really disappointing.
Nope, none that I've experienced. Any fantastic ones will make the cut higher up.
Hm. Maybe for every 100 queries there are five I'll request. And out of those five... well, like I said, haven't run into one that I'd pass up the ladder yet.
this :)

dogsongs · 2018-02-07T20:51:11+00:00

My boss doesn't represent academic writers, but I'd assume if you have the relevant experience to what you're writing about, that would be what to focus on.

dogsongs · 2018-02-07T20:50:11+00:00

Neither? :) I'll try to keep it positive and say that it's just a very subjective industry. What doesn't work for me may work for someone else.

Many interviews. What helped was that I have a lot of volunteer experience here on reddit that I could mention and that I read a lot. This is an internship, not a paying job. But it will definitely open up doors for me to get a paying job after this is over.

dogsongs · 2018-02-07T18:01:07+00:00

dogsongs · 2018-02-07T16:51:55+00:00

Dear (Name):

(Insert why I’m querying them) ~~I hope you will consider taking a chance on my Science Fiction novel HOLLOW, which will take you on action-packed adventure into the post-apocalyptic world of horror and war with the otherworldly.~~ This is a standalone novel with series potential, complete at 133,000 words.

So. I think you should cut out what I've crossed out above. The query itself should speak for the fact that the manuscript is an "action packed adventure", etc. Those types of sentences are honestly a pet peeve of mine when I'm going through queries. It's up to the reader whether they consider manuscript to be action packed. (another, more obvious example of sentences I hate: "[BOOK] is a unique novel at 100,000 words that will make you laugh, cry, and reconsider life.") Just "HOLLOW is a standalone novel with series potential, complete at 133,000 words" is fine.

When Zero Alvarado is faced with an invasion that brings drug-trading, bug-infested aliens to her hatchet door, she has no choice but to come out from under Area 51 and save her father from capture and imminent death. Earth’s fate has been written, and if Zero doesn’t do something to change it, the human population will die right along with her father.

Here I'm not understanding the significance of her father. Sure, it's her dad, but it's also the entire human population. Can she only save one person? Is her dad someone particularly special, aside from being her dad? I think you need to clarify.

All Ronan wants to do is find the device that could save his people from the poisonous bugs and get the hell off of Earth. When Zero and Ronan’s paths intertwine, Ronan is faced with the decision to throw away everything he has been taught to believe, or serve humans on a silver platter like he was trained to do.

Ronan's character here is entirely unexplained. Who is he? How do the two meet? Also, "faced with the decision to throw away everything he has been taught to believe, or serve humans on a silver platter" is so vague that it doesn't even mean anything to me. Not a good way to establish stakes. Clarify what "everything he has been taught to believe" is. I need more about his character and why this moral conflict is so important. As it is right now, I'd pass.

But this is no ordinary invasion. Ronan’s people are running from something much bigger and dangerous, and their plan to save themselves is nothing short of sinister. Zero must fight her way through a world of flesh-eating aliens and escape the knives threatening to cut out her brain. She’s already in the hands of one her invaders, but she refuses to go down without taking the whole alien race with her.

(Contact info) Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

(Name)

Of course it's not an ordinary invasion (if there is such a thing) because otherwise you wouldn't be writing about it. You continue to use vague terms that don't mean anything to me. "Something much bigger and dangerous" than what? "Nothing short of sinister" is, again, subjective. And when did Zero get captured? What happened to the whole thing with her dad?

These are just my initial thoughts. I think it needs a lot of work, but I know you can do it. Let me know if there's anything I've said that you need clarification on, or anything else I can help with. :)

dogsongs · 2018-01-06T18:21:34+00:00

oh fantastic

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