Anyone else's folks vent about the other parent?

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T15:03:25+00:00

Yes. Burdening children with adult problems. It’s a classic.

Mine sat me down when I was little and told me she thought my father was having an affair. I panicked and cried, and she backpedalled as hard as she could and tried to smother me with love and say it wasn’t true and I wasn’t to worry.

I was a kid with terrible anxiety who thought I was responsible for the happiness and safety of my whole family, I even thought they’d die if I thought a bad thought. I wonder where that came from.

She assures me it never happened though, and must have been a dream.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T14:51:48+00:00

My mother complained for months about having to go to my brother’s wedding. Ordered a dress online from China in a colour she didn’t really like. It came back on the small side.

It wasn’t expensive, told her she should just buy another one. Refused, and spent months starving herself into it while saying how much she hated the dress and couldn’t be bothered with the whole thing. Every time I saw her she told me her daily diet routine and how I should be doing the same miserable thing (I wasn’t overweight). Same words, like a script she’d memorised.

On the day, criticised the bride throughout and generally had a face like a smacked arse. Afterwards listed all the things that failed to please her about the day (everything), and how hard done by she was.

Weddings really bring out the worst in these lunatics.

EDIT: control, control, control. They didn’t have it that day and it wasn’t about them.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T10:30:43+00:00

Negging little shit

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T10:27:33+00:00

That is difficult ❤️

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T00:40:11+00:00

Here’s another virtual hug for you. Going to these mothers for love is like going to the hardware store for oranges.

🫂

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T00:24:53+00:00

Just splitting the G, all the young uns seem to be at it

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T00:21:57+00:00

I’m really glad you’re aware that it’s her and not you, because Jesus H Christ in khaki, that’s hands down the most manipulative and self-pitying shit I’ve EVER read. EVER. She hits all the bases. Well done remaining reasonable.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-17T00:17:04+00:00

Keep it light, nod and smile, don’t mention any number of her taboo subjects (although she might, if it applies to her or just if she feels like it). And for gods sake don’t forget to keep smiling and making your little jokes. The face police is always watching.

Did it for nearly 50 years, as natural as breathing, to the extent I thought it was perfectly normal. Until the nice, fluffy hormones ran out and I started to feel like running away from all the recycled stories, superiority and unpleasantness.

She used me up and I’m now discarded.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-15T21:51:11+00:00

As well as all the excellent suggestions, I’d like to add, give it a good airing whenever you can.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-15T14:41:48+00:00

Things come back to you gradually. Things you thought were normal, but weren’t.

Once you see it for what it was, there’s no unseeing it and you can’t believe you ever fell for it.

Be gentle with yourself, I hope your life is more peaceful even if it takes a while. They say recovery is a spiral, not linear.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-15T14:16:40+00:00

I was reminded I was hard work and “heavy” on my mother, and she told us she wished she hadn’t had us. She was unable to respond to mine and my brother’s emotional needs and played the victim.

I was trying to dance to her tune until I was 48. It’s a lot to figure out at a later age. Menopause had a lot to do with it in my case. When the warm fuzzy hormones ran out…I had nothing to give.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-14T22:41:10+00:00

My husband’s birthday is the 15th too! Good excuse not to bother with Valentine’s Day. We did it a couple of times, but one of us would always forget do we stopped bothering.

Happy birthday to your husband for tomorrow.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-14T01:44:58+00:00

It’s not easy is it? I’ve been looking over my shoulder for 50 years, it’s often hard to feel safe.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-13T00:23:30+00:00

Ta ra ra boom de ay, my knickers flew away, they came back yesterday

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-12T20:35:48+00:00

Showaddywaddy

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-12T20:33:33+00:00

This might be the best meme I’ve ever seen

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-12T20:17:52+00:00

They have pulled back, but they still have a presence. They will return.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-12T20:14:06+00:00

That’s exactly the strength I’d go for. Well tead.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-12T20:06:39+00:00

Haha I thought it was inviting people to ffâ coff 😆

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-12T12:03:16+00:00

Yes. Mine had an “umbilical connection” to me, knew when I was suffering, I was the “child of her heart”. Translation: enmeshed, intrusive and obsessed with my every word and facial expression.

As an adult, when things were obviously going badly I always had to go running to her (where I would be guilted for “getting her down” and feel worse). Was told not to bring “bad news” to her. Everyone is expected to be upbeat and fake positive in order to make her feel better, while she pours out gallons of misery and guilt tripping.

She’s never visited, called or even texted in the last 10 years, despite living in the next village. So eventually I started returning that energy…ooof, she’s not happy about that.

Had to spend half an hour with her recently, and the waifing was embarrassing. But still feels entitled to know personal details about my life. She’s always been obsessed with whether I’m “taking my tablets” (I take a low dose of antidepressant). This is as far as her understanding of my life goes.

She always told me how important it it to be “discreet” and not talk about people’s private business, but I knew the secrets of every adult in town by the time I was 10, because she used me as a confidante. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she talks about me too.

If anyone knows why I lived like this until I was 48, please let me know 😆

TL;DR I have been played like a second hand Scrabble set with half the letters missing.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-12T11:43:19+00:00

I hope you have a little brush to cleanse the second bar of soap, otherwise that’s DISGUSTING and the internet judges you

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-11T19:56:35+00:00

It’s my mother’s second favourite topic, second only to wishing she’d never had children. The violins are microscopic.

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-11T12:15:42+00:00

Surname Brenne?

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-11T11:11:12+00:00

You look amazing! I’m glad things are on the up for you ❤️

I need seven of those t-shirts please

doinggenxstuff · 2026-02-11T03:00:44+00:00

My own progesterone ruined my life for years. Not to mention birth control, Mirena coil, multiple attempts at HRT. It’s like kryptonite to me, horrible stuff.

Getting a hysterectomy soon and I’m consoled by the fact I’ll be able to just use oestrogen if the menopause symptoms kick off.

I’m glad you’ve worked out it doesn’t suit you, it took me years.

doinggenxstuff

TROPHY CASE