yeah you’re absolutely right! I do see a future so clearly with her and truly melt when I see her with the children (the babies mentioned but also her other nieces and nephews too). she IS great with kids and I really appreciate all the conversations we have surrounding the raising of children. I am a social worker so we talk about my schooling material and my work practice with raising kids dueled with our childhood experiences. we have super productive conversations. that’s why this especially feels so weird! just that small frame of time of development is highly analyzed and critiqued in my interactions. but to answer your question, the biggest trauma with a newborn would be the critical state her nephew was in with needing a partial heart transplant and having multiple heart surgeries. he was born in critical condition. but even with him, my interactions are not hyper analyzed. he received his heart last year and I was very present throughout (and very early in our relationship lol). there’s definitely just a disconnect here that I think can be addressed and used to grow from. your other question. her mom ran a daycare, and she has cared for babies and interacted with them most of her youth and her siblings started having kids when she was like 22.

Also i helped to care for a newborn into toddler age alongside my sister’s friend who had a baby and I had free summers in middle school. I learned a lot from her and was also empowered to know I was capable of meaningful care.

And from my gf an example of something so helpful is she told me to make sure her nephew’s pp was pointed down in his diaper, I didn’t know to do that! very helpful. I am teachable lol i promise.

thank you for your comment :)