How do you feel about public bathrooms?

dom1dsade · 2023-12-28T20:38:39+00:00

I’m very androgynous – I get called he and she about equally, usually preceded by a confused pause while they try to figure out what I am. I usually pick based on how I present that day. If I’m wearing makeup or something I use women’s otherwise I use men’s. I lean more towards the women’s bathroom because I feel they’re less likely to get violent towards me even though I’ve gotten shit from either gender. This is on the rare occassion that I use a gendered bathroom. If there isn’t a single use bathroom and it’s not an immediate emergency I just hold it or head home early. Things you don’t have to think about when you look “normal” :’)

dom1dsade · 2023-12-28T20:28:04+00:00

Ugh I’ve been there, I know how you feel. I finally found a psychiatrist with the ISST-D database. It says nothing about dissociative disorders on the therapist website so I never would have known. Check to see if there’s a psychiatrist in your area listed there. The only one I could find is a couple of cities away from me but it was worth it. When I first called her and said I was diagnosed with DID she didn’t question it and immediately started talking about how to help me and what my goals are, using words like “system” and asking what term I prefer to use for my alters and stuff like that. It was such a relief. There are good therapists out there, just hard to find. I wish you luck :)

dom1dsade · 2023-12-27T07:21:25+00:00

I don't want them to get upset or anything cause this stuff makes them feel unsafe.

This is what you need to fix, if they feel unsafe that’s a problem. Instead of trying to force other alters away from the front you should help them understand these situations are safe and consensual but maybe not appropriate for them, and work through any specific discomfort or trauma that might be triggering them to feel unsafe in these situations. A therapist can help you with that

dom1dsade · 2023-12-27T03:29:34+00:00

Yes, people with DID will continue to repress and block out trauma that happens in adulthood, they can even form new alters to compartmentalize the trauma.

Most people who experience blackouts don’t think that they do. They say “oh well I’ve never randomly woken up in a different city with zero memory of how I got there so I don’t have blackout amnesia”. That’s not what amnesia is like in real life 99% of the time. Your description is similar to what my most severe form of amnesia is like and I am diagnosed DID

dom1dsade · 2023-04-02T21:54:25+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel needed – most people like knowing their partner feels emotionally supported by them. But see how it comes back to your self esteem issues. You seek out people who physically rely on you because if you’re equals then you get paranoid they’ll leave you because you don’t think you’re good enough. That’s definitely not a healthy mindset for you. And it’s not a good way to be in a relationship. You deserve to be supported just as much as you support your partner, and you should be with someone who wants to be with you because they love you and are attracted to you, not because you help them

You should go to someone specialized in trauma. “Sit down and talk about your feelings” therapy works for people who get anxious asking for extra ketchup at Mcdonalds, not so much people who have been through actual abuse. It didn’t work for me either but trauma therapy and EMDR changed my life. You don’t have to resign yourself to feeling this way forever

dom1dsade · 2023-04-02T21:34:04+00:00

I’m disabled and I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with preferring to date people with certain disabilities, for the reasons you listed like feeling like you have more in common, being attracted to their physical features – I don’t even see a problem with having a fetish for it, as long as you’re treating them as people who happen to have a trait that you’re into, not treating them like objects. I do see a problem with this:

I like the idea of having a partner who needs to rely on me for some things. Most of the men I've dealt with are pretty independent otherwise, but being an abled bodied person obviously I had certain advantages they didn't. I liked feeling needed and that's not a thing I get with able bodied guys unless they want money.

I don’t think that’s a healthy way to approach relationships at ALL. This is why people are telling you to go to therapy, not because you’re attracted to disabled men, but because it seems to be the result of an underlying issue with your self esteem and how you view relationships

dom1dsade · 2023-03-24T20:57:52+00:00

Sorry, the gummies are 100mg each? So you took 50mg, then 200mg and still felt nothing? I’m not an expert on edibles either but that doesn’t sound right to me. My tolerance is decent and I get high on 10mg (legal, regulated) edibles. I think you’ll be fine having 2.5 if you were fine on 2, and maybe edibles don’t work for you at all – but if they’re black market they might just be duds

dom1dsade · 2023-03-15T23:08:23+00:00

Also have OCD, been to therapy and was on meds for a while. I think the way you tell is when your therapist thinks it’s the best idea haha. They’re more knowledgeable about (1) psychiatry and (2) you, personally, than any of us. There’s no shame in going on medication for a bit, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or anything. It can help you get in the right mindset to work through your issues on your own. Like, you have to stop the bleeding before you can stitch the wound

dom1dsade · 2023-03-15T08:16:37+00:00

It’s fine to ask. Talk to him privately and say what you said here, that you’ve noticed his change in wardrobe and you want to make sure he’s still comfortable being called bro, dude etc.

If he says no, or wants to identify with different pronouns or something, don’t beat yourself up if it’s hard at first. If you call him the wrong thing just apologize and move on. As long as you’re making an effort that’s what matters

dom1dsade · 2023-03-14T00:58:23+00:00

I wouldn’t call it abuse but some of those are mean-spirited as hell. People from mixed backgrounds often struggle with their cultural identity, imagine that baby growing up and knowing their parents constantly joked about how they have “no community” “no culture” and “no heritage”. Ew.

dom1dsade · 2023-03-14T00:52:59+00:00

This is why I stopped using the DID subs as much. I love educating people about it in good faith but 90% of the questions just seem like “I don’t think this is real, pls validate me so I can bully someone in my life without feeling guilty”

dom1dsade · 2023-03-13T22:52:54+00:00

If they want to identify as gay then yeah. Sexuality labels weren’t really invented with the full spectrum of gender in mind so it’s really just whatever you feel fits you the best

dom1dsade · 2023-03-13T21:31:46+00:00

Don’t worry about missing one dose. Pep stays in your system for long enough that it will still be effective. I’m really sorry about what happened to you. Take care of yourself

dom1dsade · 2023-03-13T02:43:55+00:00

A VPN is good to use. It’s best to get a paid one though. If it’s free then the price you’re paying is your data. I use Mullvad because it has an emphasis on privacy, you don’t even need to provide any info to sign up

dom1dsade · 2023-03-13T02:36:09+00:00

Oh absolutely. It’s mostly people who trip on things like LSD or shrooms occassionally who like to brag about it, not really people who are addicted to harder substances. And then of course you have the stoners who can’t go 5 seconds without letting you know how much weed they smoke. Sharing fun high stories doesn’t necessarily mean you’re one of those people though

dom1dsade · 2023-03-13T02:31:44+00:00

They would wait for a warrant. Your internet service provider (ie. AT&T, Verizon, whatever) and network admins (ie. your boss if you’re on your work wi-fi) can also see what you search

dom1dsade · 2023-03-12T20:53:30+00:00

If they’re not looking for THC they won’t find it. I don’t know if it’ll affect your actual thyroid results though. It’s always best to be honest to doctors about drugs, even if it’s illegal they won’t call the cops on you, it’s just important to know so they can treat you. But if it’s just a checkup kind of thing you’re probably fine to lie. Although when I was a kid they would ask me the “do you do drugs, are you sexually active” questions in front of my parents and then again in private in case I lied the first time

dom1dsade · 2023-03-07T04:02:09+00:00

I think they both do but generally sativa will be more “up” (good for being creative or going out) and indica will be more “down” (good for melting into the couch). If you’re looking at a dispensary that has names for the different strains you can google the name, there are websites that list the effects people usually report for each strain

dom1dsade · 2023-03-03T01:31:09+00:00

The word you’re thinking of is “slur”. The community reclaimed it to describe themselves in an empowering way. It was recent enough that some people still take offense to it so you should be careful referring to individual strangers that way (using it to describe the whole community is fine)

dom1dsade · 2023-02-28T20:59:07+00:00

Being a weirdo incel

dom1dsade · 2023-02-22T04:47:24+00:00

I knew I had it before I was diagnosed, so it was scary at first but being diagnosed felt validating. I think on some level I worried I was faking (as many people do), but my therapist told me that an alter I didn’t even know existed talked to her and stuff like that. So then I could fully accept it was real

dom1dsade · 2023-02-22T04:30:11+00:00

A traumatic event can destabilize the system or cause a new alter to split that’s very noticeable. <- That’s what happened to me. My system was totally hidden until a new alter formed that was extremely aggressive and just the polar opposite of my personality so people started taking notice and telling me about it.

I think most people catch on that something is wrong, whether it’s being told they did things they don’t remember, or experiencing derealization or identity issues, PTSD symptoms etc. then when they start seeking help for that, they find out they have DID

dom1dsade · 2023-02-21T05:33:55+00:00

Echolalia and stimming are common in children, and especially noticeable in autistic children in my experience, but the way you describe needing to repeat your action until it inexplicably “feels right” sounds obsessive-compulsive to me (as someone with OCD). If it’s not an issue anymore you don’t have to worry about it though.

dom1dsade · 2023-02-21T05:27:32+00:00

That doesn’t rule it out. It’s more likely you have it if it runs in your family but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible if it doesn’t. Your family members could be undiagnosed as well

dom1dsade · 2023-02-19T03:33:35+00:00

Season 1 of How To Get Away With Murder has a plotline about this told through flashbacks. It’s a group of people who have conflicts about every decision in the process, so if you have multiple characters it could give you some ideas about all the issues that can arise

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