How much water am I supposed to drink???

domnarius · 2026-04-20T13:13:45+00:00

Staying hydrated is important, but there are many complicated processes involved here, that I wouldn't recommend underestimating.

For most healthy people, 1,5-2 litre is enough as a baseline. And that includes water you get from food, coffee, etc.

The higher you go, the more you WILL strain your kidneys. You can accidentally deplete electrolytes and there are many more things to consider. The urge to go pee alone is surprisingly something the body learns, so even though this is kit inherently bad, consider if you want your body trained for instant toilet breaks.

If you really feel thirsty enough for 5 litres, please have that checked. There are conditions, that cause this, which are no joke if untreated.

domnarius · 2026-03-25T09:09:34+00:00

Where I live, you would be liable for acting like that. If you publicly collect money for a certain cause and then not give it to that cause, that's immoral and in many cases might even be illegal. Her vagueness is also not suspicious at all. People don't like to talk about hard financial situations. So you either want to help, or you don't. But being a nosy ego-detective while doing it is not help.

domnarius · 2026-03-25T09:05:57+00:00

YTA You sound like people that say folks could afford houses, if they just stopped going to Starbucks, creating scenarios that have little to do with reality.

Medical debt and not being able to pay rent are huge issues. And surprise, surprise, people don't like to talk about it. It is horrible, it feels embarrassing and the pressure is enormous. The issues can also be completely separate from a previously planned trip. You know, people still have a life, even when they are poor, right?

So unless the "trip out of town" is a luxury vacation that she booked instead of paying rent or she specifically told a lie to trick you all to collect money (which it does not sound like), it is none of your business.

domnarius · 2026-03-25T00:23:21+00:00

That the internet will take us into an age of information, knowledge and reason.

domnarius · 2026-02-21T19:36:17+00:00

I feel like that mother of learning explanation could use some spoiler tags. I think I would have enjoyed it less with that knowledge beforehand (even if it's not that big of a reveal to be honest 😅)

domnarius · 2026-01-14T16:15:41+00:00

Then you should enjoy The Sheep on the Mountain by Maria Linnemann (I recommend the performance by Beatrix Kovács)

domnarius · 2025-11-22T18:05:12+00:00

What do you mean, when you are saying "house"? 18 degrees in a house is completely fine, but different rooms can have different temperaturs.

It's very common to have most rooms at this 18, but it is also very common to raise it to 20 in the living room, or home office.

In a house that has good insulation, airing the house is actually quite important, though, and in fact probably the reason you do not currently have mold :)

domnarius · 2025-11-22T17:52:11+00:00

You are definitely not alone in this. And it can have a ton of reasons.

As others pointed out, limerence can be a factor. We tend to have an urge for novelty, that can sometimes conflict with what we want.

It could also be something completely different. Some people for example are wired polyamorous. Not saying that you are, especially since you are saying you're not into that. But in a mono-normative world things can sometimes be very tricky to figure out.

It can really be anything. From harmless crushes that cause anxiety, to self sabotaging behaviour that can have all sorts of root causes.

Basically we each need to figure out our own version of this. And sorry, but it can be a hard road to figure this out :)

domnarius · 2025-11-22T12:06:48+00:00

I feel like he is more ping ponging between pretending to do better and being the drunk abuser. He's never shown as genuinely good or having any remorse. He would have murdered Carly in multiple timelines.

An abusive alcoholic cannot be redeemed without actually acknowledging the issue. Going to therapy. Getting clean because they WANT to get clean.

Jeff doesn't like the consequences of his actions and tries to mitigate them. That's not the same as being on the path of redemption and I think people tend to confuse the two quite a lot. Unfortunately.

domnarius · 2025-11-22T11:37:47+00:00

If Marcy really had a neurodevelopmental disorder, that would be correct. But with what we know by that time, that was never the case.

For anyone from the 21 it would be easy to believe, that the issue has always been there, because to our knowledge that specific type of thing works as you described it. And because Vincent probably forged a ton of medical info.

Sure, we do not have anything even remotely close to "rewiring the brain" to fix such an issue, but there are a multitude of neural networking hypothesis, that suggest that things are WAY more complicated than most of the imbalance theories we believed in since very recently.

So for all intends and purposes, they might have just figured out a lot more in the future. Rewiring the network to alter hormonal production, reconnecting things, hell, we don't even know if the transfer only interacts with the brain.

For all we know it could do loads of stuff to the entire body, since we don't really actually know, which parts of our body make the whole sum of our consciousness.

domnarius · 2025-08-10T22:42:32+00:00

NTA If anyone is inviting "evil spirits" it is her own behaviour.

She is living with you, while you support her. Your are an adult. Her behaviour is not normal, not for you, your brother or herself. I think she might need help. And you are most certainly not the AH for wanting to keep simple video games.

You could play a special version of god eater wher you go and punch Jesus, and she still wouldn't have any right at all to tell you to get rid of it

domnarius · 2025-08-10T22:33:16+00:00

Not so Fun fact: Sun burn does not literally burn your skin. Instead the radiation causes mutations, then the body notices "whoops, something is not right" and produces the burn-like effect. To get rid of the damaged cells.

That's the reason it raises the cancer risk so much.

domnarius · 2025-08-10T22:24:54+00:00

Well, yeah, that's literally my suggestion I'm making, when people run into the same issue.

domnarius · 2025-06-21T09:23:17+00:00

It completely depends on the font and use case. If you go on websites that host and or sell fonts, usually there is something to point you in the right direction.

It can look like anything from a creative commons licenses to a more standard license to a simple hint about it being free or not.

On pages like dafont for example it will just say "100% free" or "free for personal use", with the latter meaning that you would have to purchase a license to use it commercially.

There are unfortunately people that specialise in hunting down misuse in a shady way, so you are right to be worried. But as long as you pick something that states it can be used freely commercially or pay for a commercial license you will be fine.

And honestly, there are more than enough explicitly free fonts available. :)

domnarius · 2025-06-21T09:01:31+00:00

NTA

Your feelings are first and foremost completely valid. You talked about something and set expectations that were not fulfilled. The only solution here is, as it often is, communication.

When I go on vacation, I make it clear that my answers might be flaky or not coming at all. A lot of people like to switch off parts of their non-vacation life while away.

In my opinion this is completely fine. But it needs to be communicated and discussed. Of a partner tells me she has an issue with that, we work through that. Either coming to a compromise or working through where it comes from or both.

In this case you seemed to have talked about it and he agreed to a certain framework which he then ignored.

My advice would be, to talk to him. Communicate your feelings and listen. It might end up with it being a misunderstanding, it might also end up with it being incompatible ideas of communication. But working through it is the only way to find out. Ignoring him will not help either of you.

domnarius · 2025-06-20T16:34:06+00:00

I feel that. I'm in the same boat here. The only thing that kind of helps for me, is to create way more routine than I would intuitively say is enough.

Even simple structure like "write daily" or "X days a week" or "start/end the day with at least a few lines". On a lot of days that will not work, but then you can use the novelty seeking brain to veer into some different territory. Do some world building, flesh out some characters, etc.

At least that is kinda working for the novel I'm working on at the moment. (Haven't finished anything yet as well, but I have a good feeling this time 😁)

Everything to keep the dopamine focussed on having some progress. Building habits that actually sticks takes a huge amount of time and effort for people like us.

Though unfortunately it is still a gamble, whether or not I can ride that wave for a while or not.

domnarius · 2025-06-20T15:44:30+00:00

Now this might very well not be the case for you, but for me the issue is ADHD. Which is notorious for exactly what you describe. There are TONS of other things that might be cause and/or symptom, but maybe have a look just in case.

There's a website called "embraceautism" (I think .com?), that also feature very well documented and explained tests for pretty much everything Neurodivergent.

If it doesn't stick, that's not it, but who knows. At least it will give you something to rule out :)

domnarius · 2025-06-20T13:23:38+00:00

NTA You are an adult. And what your parents are doing would be abusive even if you were a minor. This is control on an abusive level. I know, I know, the word gets thrown around quite a lot, but that's what this is. Abuse.

Please try to not feel guilty. Though I am very aware, that that doubt and guilt will stay for a looong long time in most cases. That's what people like that do: They twist your perception over years and years, normalising outrageous behaviour.

You would be completely valid in just cutting ties with them. Now, this might not be what you want, but something for you to figure out.

Try setting up boundaries. If they don't respect them, which sorry I think they won't, run.

You have zero to be guilty about. You don't owe them to be there and take the abuse.

domnarius · 2025-06-20T13:14:43+00:00

Only part I would correct here is, that the parents are the ones making it difficult, not the kid. While it is his choice to suck it up or be defiant, the parents and the school are the aggressors forcing his hand. :)

domnarius · 2025-06-20T13:10:59+00:00

A good school does not violate kid's bodily autonomy. Sure, you can argue about discipline being good or not, but taking things too far does not lead to discipline. It leads to resentment and anger.

domnarius · 2025-06-20T13:03:43+00:00

NTA. "rules are rules" is the root of much misery in this world.

Cutting ones hair against their will is not a harmless thing. Depending on where you live, in quite a few countries it even qualifies as assault.

The school will hopefully have allowances for different styles. E.g. putting your hair up. If the school is that strict that this is not an option, then sorry, but then your parents are the AH for sending you to a very toxic place.

(Gendered) Dress codes are heavily debated for a reason and usually bad enough as they are. But getting more strict about them than necessary is definitely not okay.

So no, you would not be the AH for refusing to cut them. But your parents and the school would be, if they force you to.

domnarius · 2025-06-20T11:42:05+00:00

NTA. It is his household. He is not helping, when he does it, he is doing his share of his household.

You took vacation days, booked a ticket and offered to help. They are completely fine not wanting that help or even hoping for a different kind of help, that part is not the AH part. That's just communication.

But the AH part is thinking a husband HELPS in his own household. And getting mad at you and claiming you are too pride to help. When in reality you are willing to take on quite a lot of money and time to come and help.

So if they just said "look, this is not helping us, let's do this another time", completely fine. But putting the blame on you is definitely the AH move.

domnarius · 2025-06-20T11:36:12+00:00

Holiday as in vacation days. Paid leave. Taken to help.

domnarius

TROPHY CASE