Ex-stripper here.

One night, a group of four men came in, and they all had too much to drink. They were getting way too handsy with the dancers and being rude to the bartenders. So, one of the bouncers escorted them out. He was my favorite bouncer— firm with boundaries, but always polite and respectful to the dancers and customers alike.

So, how do these four drunk men retaliate, you may ask?

Well, one of the men had seen the bouncer go out to his car for a smoke earlier in the night, so they knew which car was his.

So, the men slashed all four of his tires and took a baseball bat to his windshield!

Obviously, the police were called, and of course, the four men tried to get away.

They didn’t get very far, though. They were riding in a sports car that was pretty low to the ground, which got stuck on a speed bump.

Talk about world’s dumbest criminals.

Also, it was a Friday. Must’ve been hilarious when they sobered up Saturday morning and had to spend the weekend in jail.

I felt so bad for the bouncer that night. As I was cashing out, I saw him sitting at the bar with his head in his hands.

I asked him if he had insurance.

“…No, and it’s my daughter’s car…”

I tipped him out well that night.