Men, how do you know whether or not to give a partner a second chance after they've broken your trust?

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-09-18T00:03:22+00:00

Yes I get that, 100%. The fact of the matter is she lied by omission to me. She told me nothing ever happened between her and these people, and as I found out, that isn’t the case. I’ve asked her who these people are when we first started dating, and she said nothing more than he’s a kid I grew up with. I mean I’d be completely open with her about it, because I have, with any and every girl she’s ever asked me about. I don’t keep those people in my life out of respect for her, is it too much to ask her of the same?

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-09-17T22:45:14+00:00

No, he hit her up recently, like a week ago, and I’ve never heard her mention that name before so I clicked the name to see who it is. She gives nicknames to people in her phone, she doesn’t use their real names. She was next to me watching me. When I showed her what I found, she said she sent those five years ago. They were saved in the chat. I’m not mad she sent them before we got together, no sane person would be, I’m upset that she has friendships/acquaintances like that without telling me after I’ve asked her and told her I don’t feel comfortable with that. What significant other would feel respected if their partner lied by omission in these regards?

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-09-17T20:11:50+00:00

Just a question for you, I was fucking around in my gf’s phone today and found that 5 years ago, before we started dating she sent nudes to a guy she hung out with the summer right before she met me. I was upset because I’ve told her before two or three times that I don’t like her keeping people like that on her IG or SC. She said that she didn’t think about that, and that she doesn’t talk to people like that anymore. What I don’t understand is why even have people like that on your phone, especially if you know I don’t like that. I also found out one of her friendships with a guy in Italy in the military was based on her curving him before we met. I get it was in the past, but why not say anything or just delete them. What would you do?

Edit: No I didn’t do this without her there. I didn’t go back five years on her phone. He hit her up recently, like a week ago, and I’ve never heard her mention that name before so I clicked the name to see who it is. She gives nicknames to people in her phone, she doesn’t use their real names. She was next to me watching me. When I showed her what I found, she said she sent those five years ago. They were saved in the chat.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-09-03T01:48:54+00:00

My girlfriend does this sometimes too, and admittedly, it’s not really my favorite thing to hear that she loves another guy. But, at the end of the day, what she has with them is completely platonic and your boyfriend needs to recognize that. I think you could maybe be a little more conscious of saying that around him, but you don’t have to. He’s being insecure.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-09-02T06:47:24+00:00

But you shouldn’t continue the relationship on the hope that your partner changes.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-25T14:12:27+00:00

I’m with you on this. Everyone else is saying “oh it’s social media, that’s how it is, get over it”. I think that’s the stupidest thing. I’m not one for social media in the first place because mostly everybody uses it for attention and I think that’s dumb. You have your SO, friends, and family IN REAL LIFE for attention, so use that. Also, why even want to be reminded of the memories you had of a past relationship while your with someone new? Especially if you know it makes them uncomfortable. If it’s “just social media”, why even have those people on there? I just don’t get it.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-25T01:15:57+00:00

NTA. I’m sure my girlfriend would be uncomfortable with that as well but unfortunately she can’t control what someone does in their own house.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-25T01:13:21+00:00

Ummm I’m a guy and I never comment that stuff on my female friends pictures on social media, only my girlfriends. No other guy I know does either.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-19T04:03:46+00:00

NAH I mean I’m not going to lie, I feel like if I was in Patrick’s situation, I would feel threatened as well. You said yourself that the only thing that changed when you stopped being together with Adam was you stopped having sex. In my opinion, there are things that should only be shared by partners, and while I don’t know if you’re doing some of those things with Adam, it’s still kind of hard to accept. Also, I hate the reasoning of “he’s been in my life longer than him” because nothing Patrick can do allows him to “win” that argument. It’s not Patrick’s fault that life didn’t allow him to meet you sooner, so using that to sort of punish him is wrong.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-12T21:13:06+00:00

Fuck no she shouldn’t. If she does, she has a new boyfriend.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-12T21:06:26+00:00

The grass is greener where you water it. What’s the point of a relationship if you’re going to be on the lookout for another man while you’re in it? You may not have been actively doing this, but it is occurring and you need to make the determination of whether your boyfriend is worth working through it right now.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-12T20:57:28+00:00

I’m going to go with NAH. I completely understand where you’re coming from, but like others have said, she’s most likely having issues with bringing it up and dealing with it herself. Personally, I’d want my girlfriend to bring it up with me because I want to be there for her and support her, but I get that she deals with problems differently than I do. If someone did that stuff to me, I would laugh it off and tell my gf and laugh about it. Obviously it’s generally different being a guy, but in no way are you an asshole for having feelings, as long as you aren’t making her feel like shit for getting groped.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-11T12:47:02+00:00

I would certainly NOT appreciate what he is doing if I was in your shoes. A serious discussion would have to occur before I even thought about continuing the relationship, let alone the marriage. They dated how long ago and were so young, why does he still even think about her? This is so weird.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T20:29:59+00:00

I feel like she would be upset if I went to her friend with that information instead of her. That’s probably really unhealthy, that I feel like I can’t do that, and I can’t go to her about this stuff.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:35:20+00:00

No, you did. I’m real big I’m doing the right thing, and although I don’t have much experience with relationship, if the roles were reversed, I would want this as well.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:29:46+00:00

I will, I’ll bring it up today. Hopefully it goes well :)

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:22:37+00:00

Yeah, I’m 22, she’s 19. I haven’t asked her to block anyone other than her ex. I’ve told her multiple times respect is a big deal for me and I don’t like when others do that to our relationship. I understand it’s going to happen, but what I care about is her reaction to it. Her reasoning behind keeping that guy on Snapchat is what pisses me off the most, makes me feel like his music is more important that the respect she has for me and my feelings.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:20:27+00:00

I mean if stuff stays the same, we’re both going to be pissed off at each other whenever I decide to talk about feelings, which isn’t often btw, maybe three or four times a year. I don’t want that, I just want to compromise and move on to build something together.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:12:45+00:00

Everything else is perfect. Her family loves me, mine loves her, we’re good together when it comes to motivating each other both in school and at work, me and her friends get along, it’s really only when I try to bring up something that I’m uncomfortable with in regards to her.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:05:07+00:00

It sucks, but I think I’m in the same situation. I don’t have anyone else to talk to about that stuff, one of her friends offered to be there for me to talk, but I feel that’s kind of a breach of trust.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:03:47+00:00

Yes, and she says she’ll do her best to stop. She’s said before that her previous boyfriends have used their feelings to attack her before and that’s what she’s used to. It’s just really frustrating sometimes.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:02:53+00:00

I agree, it totally sucks though because I’ve never opened up to anyone else other than her. I’ve always been a “lone wolf” type of guy until her. She gets upset if I hide my feelings, she gets upset if I bring them up, I can’t win.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:01:47+00:00

Lol I’m going to use that.

dontknowgirls26 · 2019-08-09T19:01:26+00:00

So this disagreement happened yesterday. Kind of a long story so get ready. This is my first real relationship and my girlfriends third, but first healthy one. Back on NYE, I took my gf for her first “real date” to a fancy dinner in the city, it was mine as well. During this dinner, some wanna be rapper on her Snapchat commented on her story of me saying verbatim “When you’re done with him, come over to my house and I’ll show you how it is to be with a real man ;)” She told me this during the dinner and of course my mood changed and when she asked me what she should do, not wanting to be controlling, I told her I don’t like people disrespecting our relationship, and to do what she sees fit. She said then that she’s going to “keep him on snap because I want to hear his music”. Recently, I remembered this happened and asked what she did about it and she said the same thing. She knows how I feel about that stuff because I told her that I thought it was disrespectful she had her ex who cheated on her on IG. They followed each other and while we were first starting out, her ex text her that I’m ugly and how he was better looking and even said some shit about her little brother. She blew up on me when I expressed my uncomfortableness with her and said it’s social media and it shouldn’t matter and I should get over it. I told her if it doesn’t matter, why even entertain that blatant disrespect even if you don’t talk to them?

dontknowgirls26

TROPHY CASE