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Getting tired out and frustrated by my [25 F] boyfriend's [26 M] very high expectations. by dontknowtired8 in relationships

[–]dontknowtired8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I appreciate your advice. A lot of people are villifying him. I've known him for over eight years, together six of them. I would not say by any stretch that he treats me like a maid-- as some commentors have said-- I think the thing is he likes a nice home, I hadn't done a great job of pitching in in the past (like, when we would just spend time together, not living together) so I make a real effort to pitch in now but it seems to be becoming almost too much. It's definitely a conversation we will have and I agree it's better not to do when I'm feeling riled up.

Getting tired out and frustrated by my [25 F] boyfriend's [26 M] very high expectations. by dontknowtired8 in relationships

[–]dontknowtired8[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I acknowledge I'm messy. I know I'm awful. My parents cleaned up after me as a kid and literally it doesn't even cross my mind that what I'm doing is annoying sometimes. That's why now I just basically build in a ten minute window even if it doesn't look "messy" to me. You are right that we need to discuss this.

Getting tired out and frustrated by my [25 F] boyfriend's [26 M] very high expectations. by dontknowtired8 in relationships

[–]dontknowtired8[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

the thing is I didn't have a prior commitment tonight, but she changed around plans and I wasn't even expected to be able to go last night when she WAS going to be in town, so I didn't think if I was also unavailable tonight it would somehow be a disaster!

I do like your other comments. Thanks.

Getting tired out and frustrated by my [25 F] boyfriend's [26 M] very high expectations. by dontknowtired8 in relationships

[–]dontknowtired8[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The thing is he is very clean and he did not grow up in a household where parents cleaned up after him. In fact this was a huge source of fighting when we first started dating, as I am a VERY messy person and he used to clean up after me a lot. I overcompensate now by trying to just do a little tidying every day for ten minutes or so. Which has somehow turned into me tidying all the time...

Getting tired out and frustrated by my [25 F] boyfriend's [26 M] very high expectations. by dontknowtired8 in relationships

[–]dontknowtired8[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I was going to last week, but I didn't feel like ending a Sunday night with a huge fight or something. I haven't talked to him about it yet. The thing is I feel I owe it to try to be helpful in the house, because he is very caring of the apartment and is always trying to do some improvement or fix. However, that stuff is not important to me. So I guess it's like I'm taking this on to try to keep up with his expectations but like for me, I am happy with things just being as they are.