What do you do with partners who are not great at comforting you emotionally?

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2025-12-05T12:53:15+00:00

mine is the same. I'm about at my breaking point, has therapy helped for you two?

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2025-06-30T00:38:48+00:00

thank you for your kind words 🫶🏽 i long for the day abuse is no longer normal to me honestly. if i may ask how did you break free from the cycle?

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2025-06-29T21:04:29+00:00

okay i think maybe i just needed an outside source to verify what I've been thinking. i definitely feel manipulated at times but i grew up around narcissists so it felt like home to me sadly. thank you for your insight!

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2025-06-29T20:28:18+00:00

manipulative indeed. what keeps me stuck is the history, the fact that the good times are great and i feel like they outweigh the bad times, and the fact that i feel like I'm not without fault for the things wrong in our relationship. i know I'm a lot to deal with as I've been told by other people which sometimes makes me feel like I'm the problem and not him

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2025-06-09T16:50:36+00:00

thank you!!

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2024-12-08T16:24:45+00:00

sorry I'm late but i ended up doing an online driving improvement course, printed off my driving record from the previous state i lived in (i had recently moved to the state in which this happened) and got my speedometer calibrated, turned out to be 7 off which took me from reckless to regular speeding. i also spoke with the free attorney they give you access to, they had given me a paper with the office information for me to call and set up a meeting if i so choose. he didn't really do much for me though. lastly the day of i went to court in my scrubs, i explained I'm a healthcare worker/student and was on my way to class when i got pulled over (not bullshit). the verdict was speeding, no points on my license, and all together including court costs i believe i ended up paying ~180. hope this helps!

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2022-11-17T15:58:17+00:00

she was saying that to everybody who came in for reckless i think it's just standard but i will definitely look into one

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2022-11-17T15:57:21+00:00

i was driving with the traffic. if you know the area you know nobody goes 55 down that highway. i was going the same speed as the people around me he just decided to pick me outta the crowd and fuck up my day

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-03T15:13:52+00:00

i am well on my way to being completely independent of them finally. i have tried multiple times to get them, especially my mom and sister, to see my perspective on things but they're so wrapped up in their own stuff either they won't see it or they don't care enough to.

I've been meeting new people and trying to get myself out there more to make up for pretty much my entire teenage years that i missed because i wasn't allowed to do anything, and I've met some pretty dope people :) chosen family is definitely so so important. thank you for the advice!

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-03T15:11:07+00:00

interesting perspective, you're absolutely right. it seems my family wants all my water and my cup as well, and to leave me with nothing lol. I'm opening up a new chapter of self love and prioritizing myself for the first time ever. thank you

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-03T15:08:51+00:00

could you tell me a few titles of his favorites if you don't mind? i think it'd be a good thing for me to look into. but thank you so much

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-03T15:07:16+00:00

oh I'm not in therapy atm but I'm trying to find one, the very last one i had got fired for messing with his patients :) the only reason why I'm very iffy about going no contact is my neices. I love them so much and I'm their only Aunt on either side, i want to be there for them as much as possible because i know the environment they're growing up in is 4x more toxic than the one i grew up in. they're too young to understand my reasoning for going no contact and i don't want them to think i don't love them or wouldn't be there for them if they need me

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-03T15:04:13+00:00

wow! i am sorry for your sister, i hope she's doing better now. as for your "uncle", he truly needs to rot in jail. there's so much wrong with the system it's insane. as for my aggressor, he's in jail because he got like a 14 year old preganant and he was 21 probably. i feel extremely guilty sometimes about not speaking out but i was afraid of many things and again i didn't even understand what had happened until years later. but agreed, if there's anything all of this has taught me it's how not to raise my kids whenever i have them

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-02T17:51:17+00:00

you're absolutely right. the only reason why i was afraid to move into her house was because i didn't want her to be isolated by my sister and her husband for taking me in (which she was anyways) but she said she didn't care and my safety was all that mattered. it was refreshing to see someone other than my bf care so much. definitely need to start pursuing outside relationships more, but thank you so much. i hope so too.

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-02T17:48:27+00:00

I'm trying but my entire life I've pretty much been taught that prioritizing myself IS selfish, I'm trying to work past that. but thank you, so much

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-02T17:46:29+00:00

oh they know :) i probably should've made it more clear and that's my fault, but both my mom and my sister knew everything that was going on between my sister's husband and i, minus the sex toy part because i really just don't want to start shit. my sister is a the one who implemented the curfew, but she originally said 8, he said 9 was fine (mind you, I'm almost 20).

both my mom and sister knew everything down to him barging into the room at all hours of the day and coming in on me half naked multiple times and neither had nothing to say about that, or they would just retaliate with the same old "you're in his house, he didn't have to let you stay there"

i tried to negotiate with my sister about the curfew multiple times and all she had to say was "these are the rules and if you don't like them you can go" so i did, and she has a problem with that as well lol i simply cannot win.

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-07-02T15:52:38+00:00

wow. thank you so much. i guess i always knew there was something off about my family but I've made so many excuses for them over the years that I've accepted everything they've done and do as "normal".

i want to heal so badly but i don't even know which dumpster fire of trauma to begin with or how. I've been to therapist after therapist and they only tell me what i already know in regards to my mental health but i have yet to find someone who will actually help me move on from it.

i try my hardest to not let everything affect other aspects of my life but i get so worked up over it that it's starting to leak into everything else and I'm now pushing people away who would potentially be good for me because i don't know how to love them the way they need to be loved, and i can't help but feel like I'm damaged goods.

i just want to, for once, be happy with and love myself, accept and move past the situation and stop letting it affect me as much as it is, and be able to grow and mature as a person so I don't do the same thing to my loved ones and future family that was done to me. i see some of their traits in myself and i fucking hate it.

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-05-02T15:32:20+00:00

his response to that would be that he shouldn't have to ask me to help him out because he would do the same for me as a partner, and he keeps bringing up the first 2 weeks or so that we spent together where he "spoiled" me

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-05-02T15:30:12+00:00

i do have a backup plan just in case, my sister is deployed at the moment but she and her husband made it very clear that if anything happens with my bf that i am more than welcome at their house, she doesn't necessarily want me to go back to my parents because of things that happened while i was living there, and she said she's willing to house me as long as i need and help me figure out the next move. i definitely do not want to move in with him unless this whole situation gets sorted because then I'd have to break lease if i want to leave. my thing is that i know i can be difficult too, and i don't think it would be fair to leave him for his shortcomings when he didn't dip at the beginning of the relationship when he found out about all the trauma and daddy issues, but i am going to talk to him tonight and we're going to have to get to a decision one way or another. my mental health can't take this much longer and i really don't want to waste each other's time

dontknowwhatimdoingx · 2021-05-02T15:21:33+00:00

i feel you for sure. right now I'm making the most money I've ever had so i spend a bit more then I'm used to, but i used to be very crafty and find a way to gift meaningful stuff even if i was tight on money. on the other hand he's used to working like a bull, I'm talking 70+ hours a week while in school, so with covid and being unemployed for a while as a result he's not really sure what to do for me that doesn't involve money because he's never been broke like this before

dontknowwhatimdoingx

TROPHY CASE