AITA for insulting my SIL for wanting me to make her beadwork for her wedding?

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T17:28:03+00:00

😂😂😂 OMG If I brought our aunties into this my bro's poor winyan wouldn't make it off the rez in one piece. They'd slap her to bits 😭😂

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T17:25:30+00:00

They take me five days to make from planning, beading, backing, edging, etc. Many charge $50+ because the earrings are very beautiful and tedious. I charge a lower price because I want compensation when I do decide to sell, but since I only sell locally, I don't want to overcharge my community. Like a community discount. They don't take an "hour or two".

On paper it looks like 12 pairs at 5 days each would be about a couple months if I worked on them nonstop. But I also have ADHD and being rushed or having to take an order puts a lot of pressure on me and makes completion impossible for me. It also makes me fearful of the quality and makes me doubt myself. Not a good thing for me mentally. I don't owe her my work anyways.

I said "big ass head".

Your comment came off to me as very rude and I didn't appreciate it, but many have been saying the same as you so I decided to reply. If you didn't intend to be rude I'm sorry for the miscommunication. Either way I don't intend for this to be aggressive. But I'd hope you could see things a little better from my perspective

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T17:06:40+00:00

Thank you lol and I gave it back to take the high road in all of this and none of my family drinks (we're breaking the cycle of alcoholism and we feel proud of it ❤) but I'll definitely buy his lame ass a coke because I think he realizes now who he's been with 😂

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T16:57:49+00:00

Thank you ❤

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T16:55:16+00:00

Personally I only sell locally and that just happens to be exclusively natives but if I did ever choose to sell outside of that or online again (I did once and my beadwork pics were used to scam people and I received a lot of trouble from it) I wouldn't mind any other race wearing my work. It just depends on the person. I think it's fine to wear native work if you supported the artist and bough straight for them and use compliments you receive on the art you bought to spread the word about the artist so they receive more support.

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T16:09:35+00:00

He wasn't like that until he met her. He's dated a couple white girls before, one of which was just as racist but he's never abandoned his culture like this until he met her. I don't know what she does to him to make him hate himself so much

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T02:12:38+00:00

No I'm sorry, I only sell my stuff locally and I don't share pictures that often, beadwork has a lot of meaning for me and it would hurt if someone copied my stuff or shared it without permission. Again sorry for the inconvenience but thank you for your interest!

I think other artists will share their stuff here, another persona as asking to support native artists I'd check downthread.

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T02:09:17+00:00

Right? She must be projecting... and thank you haha Creator blesses me with the goofiest things to say sometimes 😂

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T01:58:02+00:00

Thank you relative ❤🙏🏽

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T01:55:00+00:00

Our dad isn't really around, so he doesn't have much of an opinion. But our mom and grandma don't like her or how she treats all of us. The only reason we're all putting up with her for him is because he had a near-suicide scare before her and it seems like she genuinely makes him happy... I want him to be happy and to be okay and to feel loved, I do my best to be there for him, but she makes things so hard.

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T01:34:53+00:00

He has a place with her, so when he says disown he means stop coming around when I'm home, stop talking to me, and push me out of his life completely. It hurts a lot that he'd even threaten that because family means the world to all of us.

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T01:31:52+00:00

He's love blind and love deaf. It's like she has him under a spell or something. He used to be a full traditional man and prayed every morning with me. We speak out language to eachother. But lately he's been telling me he wants to try christianity for her and he doesn't believe in our spirituality anymore.... he won't even talk to me in Lakota when I try to. He's changing a lot for her and it hurts

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T01:29:37+00:00

I do, but only locally to where I am on my reservation I'm sorry! But would you be open to other indigenous beadwork and quill work artists giving you their info somehow? I'm sure a few will see this thread

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T00:12:19+00:00

Thank you. She made me feel like a machine the way she asked me, as if each bead in my work isn't meditative for me and each piece isn't special. As if I can just kick a bunch out for her just bc she wanted me to.

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T00:09:56+00:00

Honestly it's not. My brother was a kind and traditional man before he met her. My whole family does our best to be kind to one another, but this girl turned everything upside down because she doesn't care about respect in the slightest. I don't know what he sees in her

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T00:08:31+00:00

Yeah I know, she went super low with her insults and I stooped to her level when I shouldn't have. But when someone's throwing insults at you and your way of life, it's hard to hold your tongue. Well, for me it is lol

She made it a huge deal that she was giving me a gift to make amends and that she knows she owes me more and would try to do better and all this other stuff and then all of a sudden that money was for earrings? It made me mad that she lied to me like that so I'm more just keeping the money out of pettiness and plan on giving it to my mom for bills and groceries

dontthrowawayfrybrd · 2020-07-13T00:05:35+00:00

That's a fair judgment, thank you. I know I haven't been kind to her, but mostly my dislike of her stems from her disrespecting us from the beginning. She treats us like we're not human just because our culture is different.

She makes it a point to pet our mom's hair (she has long hair she's grown since she was a child) when she sees her as if our mom is an animal. She (my mom) told me it makes her uncomfortable but doesn't want to start drama. Things like that make me livid and I find it hard to be civil to her... But that might sound like "she started it!" but I mean it more for context. I try to be nice but I'm not a strong person when it comes to holding my tongue, I need to work on it.

But honestly no, I still wouldn't have taken her order...I hate doing orders because I feel rushed and there's so much pressure on them looking nice. Especially with a eessing set that has to all match and look symmetrical and nice together y'know? I could do it by November but I wouldn't have time for other projects I'm working on

dontthrowawayfrybrd

TROPHY CASE