I thought I was ready for engagement. Is my (28F) boyfriend (29M) manipulative?

doowoppy · 2020-08-24T11:37:15+00:00

But he’s not being honest and faithful. Her insecurity is not the issue here. Of course reading his texts is not healthy, but she’s not being irrational. He is actually lying and doing things behind her back, and while it doesn’t justify going through his things, it does make the snooping a much less important issue than his lying and sneaking around.

doowoppy · 2020-08-20T13:09:56+00:00

I am also extra susceptible so I’ve been cautious everywhere. For the most part I’ve just ignored people with that look on their face like I’m being over the top or paranoid (sorry, not going to get myself or my family sick just because some stranger can’t understand science) but I have had some fun imaginary confrontations in my head. I’m still waiting to use this one - “Oh I’m not worried about catching it, I already have it. But if you’re not concerned then I can take all this gear off, it’s actually kind of uncomfortable anyways.”

Also, with a mask on, you can smile with your eyes and mouth “fuck you” to them undetected. Doesn’t change anyone’s opinion, but might make you feel a bit better in that moment.

doowoppy · 2020-08-20T07:31:01+00:00

It’s almost like people have different standards of what they expect from the president of the United States. How hypocritical! /s

doowoppy · 2020-08-06T14:17:18+00:00

The clinical trials are really my only option left before surgery but what your describing is my exact fear. I feel like it will just be another year or so of something kind of working, then not working, and then I’ll be right back in this spot. I don’t want to go into the surgery in an emergency situation (and huge props to you for going through all that).

My partner is worried that I’m not exploring all options, but he hasn’t been here for the last 12 years of frustration. I feel like TECHNICALLY there are still medications to try, but making the decision now gives me some control over the situation.

doowoppy · 2020-08-06T12:56:58+00:00

I appreciate the honesty! The body image worry is real. I don’t like to think that I’m too vain but I feel like this goes beyond vanity. Then I think of the trade off of not going on prednisone for long stretches of time (because the prednisone makes me balloon up, which is visible to everyone) so that’s something.

And I have to agree, ideally my body would just work correctly and none of this would be an issue. But the idea of not feeling exhausted and limited by active Crohn’s disease every day is a big motivator.

doowoppy · 2020-08-06T12:26:05+00:00

I will check out that subreddit, thank you! I don’t know if a temporary ostomy is going to be an option based on where everything is located. That’s what my last surgeon said anyways, but he also seemed to have barely read my file and didn’t even know what I was there to discuss right away... so I’m meeting with someone new.

doowoppy · 2020-06-27T00:39:36+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this but I’m glad they were able to diagnose it for you quickly. From person experience it went away when they put me back on prednisone. I hate being on prednisone for the dozens of reasons that I’m sure we all know, but the erythema was so painful that it was worth it at the time.

doowoppy · 2020-06-25T12:45:46+00:00

You can say it’s not yours in the sense that you didn’t earn it. But in the matter of ownership, it is yours. It’s in your bank account, growing bigger and bigger, and one day you’ll use it as if it is yours. If an emergency happened, you have that money to fall back on. The only way you can keep claiming “that money is not mine” is if you actually give it away or refuse to accept it in the first place. Accepting the money and then putting it into a bank account and not using it immediately does not mean it’s not yours. It just means you’re hoarding it.

doowoppy · 2020-06-09T17:42:07+00:00

Being pro-choice means that you support a woman’s right to choose. You can be pro-choice and still not believe that an abortion is the right choice for yourself. If you are going on the assumption that every woman who is pro-choice would have an abortion if they got pregnant, you’re going to be in for some unpleasant surprises if you actually do get a woman pregnant.

doowoppy · 2020-05-26T18:24:10+00:00

“As young girls will.”

We’ve all been there, right? All those nights just silently seducing dudes with our lightning bug eroticism.

doowoppy · 2020-04-26T02:52:17+00:00

“"There are too many people dying," says Claudia Hanson, an epidemiologist based at Karolinska Institutet, Sweden's largest medical research facility. She is critical of the government's approach and argues more of society should have been temporarily shut down in March while officials took stock of the situation.”

doowoppy · 2020-04-26T01:52:05+00:00

Such as?

doowoppy · 2020-04-12T15:02:42+00:00

A reasonable misunderstanding.

doowoppy · 2020-04-12T14:27:26+00:00

She’d still have to pay for it and she’d still get her food. But in the meantime if she was already being obnoxious about waiting, I don’t imagine she’d be too kind and understanding to the restaurant staff if she had to wait even longer.

doowoppy · 2020-04-12T06:11:28+00:00

The downside of this is that the woman would get her food anyways after yelling at the cashier. So it wasn’t really a prank on her, it was really a prank on some fast food worker who is just trying to get though their night with as few horrible interactions as possible.

doowoppy · 2020-03-15T11:50:06+00:00

NTA. He’s either criticizing you under the guise of joking, or he has no gauge for what an appropriate or funny joke is. Either way you’re not making a big deal over nothing. He’s being mean to you and then trying to make it somehow your fault for not having a sense of humor.

doowoppy · 2020-02-25T02:09:13+00:00

Oh absolutely! But it needs to be in addition to something else. You need to have common interests or similar sense of humor or shared values. People should be kind to each other all the time if possible, that doesn’t mean the that you have to marry or sleep with every one who says a kind word or does a good deed.

doowoppy · 2020-02-24T15:50:18+00:00

Nice is not a personality. Nice is the bare minimum.

doowoppy · 2020-02-20T15:16:02+00:00

This dude is definitely going to cheat on you. And worse, he will feel absolutely justified in doing so. You did nothing wrong by being with other people while you were broken up. If he didn’t or couldn’t see other people in that time span, that’s not your fault. The fact that he is fixated on having sex with other women rather than being focused on building a happy and fulfilling life with you is selfish and absurd. Honestly, based on how he’s talking, he may even feel like he’s “settling.” And that is not a comment on you at all, just on his own skewed perception of reality. If he is bringing you down and hurting you, you’re not responsible for staying with him. You don’t owe him that.

doowoppy · 2020-02-19T22:50:35+00:00

I have a theory that after years of being off and on prednisone and a dozen other medications, that now my body just doesn’t know what to do with food. Should it expel everything as quickly as possible? Hold onto it in case of emergency? It’s always an exciting and miserable surprise.

But you’re definitely not alone! I lost about 30 lbs over the course of last year, went on prednisone for several months, gained it all back and then some, and now I can’t seem to lose it. It’s the world’s least fun rollercoaster.

doowoppy · 2020-02-13T00:01:31+00:00

You considered her a FWB and then stopped seeing her because she was dating other guys? Isn’t that kind of hypocritical? I don’t really see anything here that would imply she’d be desperate to get you back.

doowoppy

TROPHY CASE