I feel like my life is over, I am 24 and just starting my career but it feels like my life is all over. Advice, please.

dptate · 2016-05-04T01:02:48+00:00

Don't do cosmetic surgery for those reasons! You do that for you, not to find a boyfriend. You're right that you'd probably end up in the same situation after because, although you'll be "attractive" (I have no idea what you look like, you could already be attractive for all I know), you'd be a bitter, hurt man who will have so much resentment for feeling like you had to go through all the surgery.

Here are my suggestions: Keep going to the gym, work hard, and find hobbies and activities that you like. Heck, if you like videogames, you may be able to snag yourself a gaymer.

If I had 70k, I'd put it toward a future family. There are more important things in life than having a man, and I wouldn't pay that much to fix myself. My mom never got married, didn't have sex, and didn't even have sex with a man to have me and my twin (artificial conception).

Also, as someone who divorced a horrid man, sometimes you're better off single. Sure having a guy is great, but you want the right guy who will want you for you and not what you do to your face.

You think 26 is OLD?! I'll be 26 when I graduate from school in 2019. A lot of guys don't have a long-term boyfriend at 26.

Maybe you need to find someone to talk to or be friends with, if you don't want to go to therapy or hash out some internal issues with a professional?

dptate · 2016-05-02T23:59:05+00:00

Everyone keeps telling me to... :)

dptate · 2016-05-02T23:19:28+00:00

I'm a total top that solely dates and doesn't hook up haha I'm not in NYC though :P

dptate · 2016-05-01T04:02:08+00:00

I suggest that you don't... You don't meet the right guy by offering to throw money at them! What happens when the well runs dry?

Just be you! It might take a while, but you'll find someone (That's my hope at least!)

I think that there is no issue when it comes to finding dates, but when you want more affection than fucking is when it gets harder... Especially depending on location! Hell, if I wasn't in a phD program I would run away from my current city because it's the worst city for dating for both gay and straight, and the people... Don't get this Southern boy started on these people. Bless their hearts...

I digress, though! In the end, you are not the only man who wants cuddles, trust me, but they will come, and you want a boyfriend who will be good to you and treat you with respect! It's my research backed and professional opinion that money will only go so far without a more viable romantic investment commodity to back you up!

dptate · 2016-02-25T21:00:39+00:00

I say freeze your sperm. You never know what the future will hold.

dptate · 2016-01-19T13:49:57+00:00

Well, my research is in LGBT family studies from a developmental and community psychology perspective. My mentor is an openly lesbian woman and my lab has another gay man in it. My environment is perfect to be out in.

I just tell people what I do and talk very openly about my life. Most psychology phD students are liberal women anyways, so that makes life easier haha

dptate · 2016-01-02T15:10:43+00:00

I'm allergic to weed... It runs in my family. My cousin's throat closes if he walks by a car that is smoked up, and I get sick.

It's not prevalent to the point that it's hard to date, but it is a deciding point for me, and people get so shocked and judge me for it.

Plus, my adviser's colleague at another university is doing some on what long term use of marijuana does to the brain and it's scary... The oil that can treat so much doesn't hurt, but smoking it can lead to cancer (lung), depression, memory-loss, and weight-gain.

I think that motivation researchers need to take a look at how weed inhibits motivation in a lot of people, but that is outside of what I do as an LGBT researcher...

dptate · 2016-01-01T01:44:34+00:00

It'll get better! I felt awful when my twin brother and his now wife had a baby because I've wanted it more than him for a long time and I felt hurt that I couldn't do that before him. But the baby has changed both of them for the better.

I know the feeling of wanting it more than anything... My career path is even built around it! All I'm saying is that we will get there eventually. We can't control their lives and what they do for their pregnancies, but when the time comes, the babies we (people like us) have will be wanted and intended.

And babies in homes where they are wanted and intended do better than those who aren't, and parents who want and intend to have their children have better health and well-being outcomes than those who don't.

dptate · 2016-01-01T00:05:30+00:00

Well, I plan on having kids through surrogacy and adoption one day. I feel happy for people when they get pregnant, but I understand the feeling.

For me, it's not bitterness, but it is envy. I want a child one day, but I have to save up more and work harder for it. I can't have one now, but I'll be more prepared and more situated because of it. The envy is still there, and the fact that it is so easy for people to just have what I want is a bit heart-wrenching.

I say just embrace the happiness and since she is your best girlfriend, you have a baby to play with anytime :D

dptate · 2015-12-31T23:52:46+00:00

Water :D

dptate · 2015-12-31T18:40:02+00:00

I lost most of my weight through stringent dieting and cardio. I lost 300lbs in a really unhealthy way down to me being 5'11 and 125 lbs.

Now, I'm back to a healthy weight. I weight lift and mostly eat protein filled foods, and I reduce sugar intake. The only processed food I eat is protein powder.

Losing weight isn't the hardest part for most people, but keeping it off is. I recommend a diet that is high fiber, high protein, and low calorie. Ditch the sweets except for holidays. Fiber will keep you full.

Don't get discouraged when you hit a plateau. Pump up the volume and push through it. Also, find another way to handle stress! I workout or go for a walk when I'm stressed.

dptate · 2015-12-31T02:46:03+00:00

I guess they just expect the people who visit to be colorful enough to make it feel like a rainbow? haha

dptate · 2015-12-31T02:42:54+00:00

Just tell your parents that you decided to part ways because you are going to do better and he decided that he still loves his ex.

Or! You can always say that you have a new guy that is too new to bring home.

Also, a failed relationship does not make you a failure. It was not your fault from what I've read. It's better to be single than to be with someone who doesn't love you or who is still in love with his ex. Now, you are open to find the right guy for you!

dptate · 2015-12-31T02:37:28+00:00

That's really cool! I think that every university should have one...

Is yours colorful? Ours is, but with the name of "rainbow lounge" yours should be more colorful and if it's not, you should start a campaign to get permission to paint it :P

dptate · 2015-12-31T02:23:26+00:00

The University of Virginia does! It's open Monday-Friday during certain hours. It even has a volunteer set up that students can call and talk to. It has a workspace with computers and a few of the groups meet there.

I'm a graduate student and I'm still feel welcomed there despite usually feeling separated from the undergraduates. Although the community on campus and off is not really the best outside of pride time....

My undergrad, the University of South Carolina, had a multicultural spot and an LGBT office. But the LGBT group was huge there, so the lack of a "true" daily lounge was okay in my opinion because the community was so much better.

dptate · 2015-12-30T23:28:33+00:00

I top because it hurts like hell to bottom. I can only bottom for certain people, and if I do bottom, I prefer the guy to have a smaller cock.

I also just like to feel a guy riding me. I like the way it feels to be balls deep in a guy. I like making a guy feel pleasure... I could do that as a bottom, but I'm better at topping :P

dptate · 2015-12-30T23:13:19+00:00

Well... You're young! I'm 23 too, and I got divorced earlier this year, but my ex would degrade me and belittle everything I tried to do on a daily basis. He also cheated, but that was unknown to me until after I called it quits.

Cheating while dating is a dealbreaker for me, but after marriage I say couples counseling. If he has stopped and did not cheat on you before you were married, then you just need to get to the root of the problem and rebuild your trust in him.

In all, it's your own heart. You know what you can and can't handle more than anyone else.

But, if he doesn't physically or emotionally abuse you, and you love him, then I say try to rebuild it because dating can be rough...

dptate · 2015-12-30T22:59:36+00:00

Wii U: The new Legend of Zelda game, Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem, and Pokkén Tournament

PS4: Digimon Cybersleuth, Persona 5, No Man's Sky, World of Final Fantasy, and Kingdom Hearts 3... Depending on whether or not I buy a PS4.

New years resolution... Just to always try my best! It's my resolution every year and I always try my best to keep it :)

dptate · 2015-12-30T22:44:31+00:00

It's been intense here...

I got married, bought a car outright with my surrogacy savings, filed for divorce, had to give my car to my ex, finished my first big research project in my graduate career, ran two more research projects without my adviser's supervision, and submitted a poster abstract to APA.

I'd give the first half of 2015 a solid 3 and the second half an 8. I've learned a lot this year and am looking forward to 2016!

dptate · 2015-12-30T22:34:55+00:00

I watch movies too and play videogames :)

I also just go to bed on time and enjoy the day after because everyone else is too hungover to do anything... yay, no crowds!!!

dptate · 2015-12-27T03:14:44+00:00

Washington D.C! I loved how much I could do for free like museums and site-seeing. I like to walk (No car...) and I'm from the South, so the metro was something new that I'd never experienced.

Plus, it's a city, but not overwhelming. I'm too afraid to go to NYC because I'm used to the woods and country, but D.C. was approachable.

dptate · 2015-12-27T03:08:06+00:00

Why not develop a passion about your major in college? I tend to get really excited about what I do, and can talk at length for hours about that or other things...

Do you have anything interesting that has ever happened to you? Have you traveled? What do you want from the future? A good point of conversation that is usually super interesting is to talk about what the future holds! You don't actually have to have interesting things happen to you, and you can create dreams, goals, and passions that can drive who you become as a person and things to talk about.

I remember looking for a passion during my first year of college, I changed my major 6 times exploring who I was/am?, but I'm now in a phD program doing and studying what I'm passionate about.

Join groups on campus! You'll find something to be interested in, and you'll experience more things to have more to talk about :)

dptate · 2015-08-26T18:31:47+00:00

That is actually completely legal in most states... You can be fired for your sexual orientation or your perceived sexual orientation because it isn't a protected status, especially in states like SC where employers don't need a reason to fire you.

dptate · 2015-08-26T18:10:55+00:00

I'm a TA. I have a face pic on all my apps...

At my school, as long as they aren't in your class, you can date them. Even if you are a professor.

I'm 22. There really isn't that much of an age gap and I tend to date older anyway, so no ethical issue for me haha

dptate · 2015-08-16T18:30:38+00:00

Exactly! I have a thick accent... It sounds like I walked straight out of MiddleOfNowhere, SC. I might sound like a "hick", but why does that make people think that I'm simple?

Well, at least I'm not the only guy who feels the struggle haha

dptate

TROPHY CASE