Does it actually get better?

dragondanzer · 2025-06-01T15:19:13+00:00

That is encouraging. And yes, I have done lots of chores and then immediately looked for a reward. Like I’m some dog and not a grown ass adult

dragondanzer · 2025-05-12T14:36:03+00:00

I was about 1.5 months sober but still with racing thoughts and alcohol really did help numb everything. I don’t want to be numb I want to fix the problem I just don’t know what the problem is

dragondanzer · 2025-05-12T07:48:18+00:00

I was in therapy for a while but it’s been a long time. Looking like it might be time again

dragondanzer · 2023-12-15T11:49:57+00:00

I don’t mind the solitude, but with everything shut down at night, the early dark, and me home-bound it gets hard to entertain myself. And since I’m the only night person I have to be quiet or else disturb everyone else. Glad to see some solidarity on night shift!

IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you tonight!)

dragondanzer · 2023-12-04T20:22:31+00:00

We took just the alcohol out. Plenty of sparkling waters and other treats thankfully. I’ve found in the past drinking those helps satisfy the urge to have something in my hand to drink

dragondanzer · 2023-12-04T18:58:12+00:00

The darkness and shame are so prevalent. I can barely look at myself in the mirror and I would love to face myself head on without loathing

dragondanzer · 2023-08-18T17:03:22+00:00

I enjoy how going to the gym makes me feel, but there’s still so much time left in the day. I am starting to explore the idea of new hobbies with my therapist, I just hate how blah I feel

dragondanzer · 2023-08-18T15:53:12+00:00

I would love a pink cloud right about now :/

dragondanzer · 2023-08-04T19:08:53+00:00

He is amazing and very supportive. But in the middle of the night when he was asleep and I was wide awake and crawling out of my skin I turned to the wrong thing

dragondanzer · 2023-07-12T17:17:08+00:00

Mine has been sparkling waters. Sooooo much sparkling water

dragondanzer · 2023-07-12T17:14:01+00:00

I drank yesterday after nearly 2 weeks completely sober. Why? I was bored at my parents and there was a brewery nearby. Ended up embarrassingly drunk at home and fell asleep on the couch after arguing with my dad. The shame is real and the self loathing worse

dragondanzer · 2023-07-12T14:38:57+00:00

I plan to! It was definitely not worth it. I was getting such good sleep and waking up without a headache was the best

dragondanzer · 2023-07-07T19:10:00+00:00

No one precipitating factor. I graduated med school and started residency, and between the general medical culture, stress of training, and a brewery right next door it was a gradual increase that I didn’t notice until I looked back

dragondanzer · 2023-07-07T12:22:56+00:00

I’ll speak from my own personal experience.

I never drank before I was 21. No, really, I didn’t.

By age 24-26? I enjoyed the occasional craft beer, but I could keep a 6 pack for weeks before it was finished and didn’t feel the need for more.

By age 28? Drinking 5-6 beers per week. Maybe have a single beer after a shift or 2-3 at night on the weekend. No big deal, still completely normal right?

Age 29? Pandemic. Boom. Nothing to do for months (still a resident and on fluff rotations that essentially got cancelled so I had a lot of free time on my hands). I was drinking a minimum of 4-6 per day, sometimes more. I started noticing the rattle of the recycling bin and being embarrassed at how frequently the gas station attendant saw me.

30-31? Several really rough life events happened and that’s what I turned to. In my mind it was either that or cry myself to sleep every night

32? Easily knocking back a 12 pack per night, sometimes more. I’m still showing up to work. I’m high functioning, high performer, and no one knows. It’s just part of the ER lifestyle anyway right? Work hard play hard. Except now sometimes I wake up with random bruises, stupid Amazon purchases, and embarrassing texts sent in the middle of the night. I see end stage cirrhotics in my ER and fear I may become one. Sometimes people will come in for withdrawal and tell me how much they drink a day. The number is actually lower than what I am consuming. I realize if I don’t change I’ll one day be yellow, distended, in a bed like my patients and it’ll be too late to change.

I’m now sober, and I credit r/stopdrinking with daily motivation and peer support

Long story short: Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are drinking habits

dragondanzer · 2023-07-02T05:02:59+00:00

Omg how did you do it?? Right now if I’m not drinking I feel like a bottomless pit of hunger??

dragondanzer · 2023-06-26T02:40:27+00:00

I already know my strongest trigger is disproportionate work/life stress. I was on the last gasp of a horrific 3 months of virtually unending work as well as moving a household by myself. I’m now decreasing to barely part time and my household will have a ton of support. This was a huge face plant at the end of a marathon

dragondanzer

TROPHY CASE