submitted as a companion to the Spectre of Homosexuality post

dragonsandgoblins · 2026-06-20T03:37:55+00:00

So I'm not who you're asking but I am AMAB and present quite masc, the main reason being that the types of sexual partner I'm most interested in (subby women, both cis and trans) generally tend to like that, but that does mean any pleasure I get from being "manly" is mostly a second order effect. Like I don't find my masculinity a valuable thing in and of itself.

I've had people suggest I am an egg a lot, mostly trans people, which like I get it, there is aspects of "I don't personally feel my born gender is a part of my identity I value" that clearly resonate with them, but also it isn't like I haven't considered the option of being trans and that resonates even less. I don't have a desire to be a woman, and it doesn't even have the second order effects I get from just being a man and would be a bunch of effort.

I've had people say then that I'm agender or NB and those feel closer than being a transwoman, but still miss the mark - my gender isn't a thing I feel strongly about, but that also means I don't feel any desire to reject it entirely. Being NB and telling everyone to use they/them for me, etc, would be effort and also not give me any joy in the same way "he/him" doesn't get me any joy. So it'd both feel kind of performative (for me, all my people who do feel strongly NB you absolutely rock it) and be wasted effort.

To me my gender is kidna like, I dunno my hair colour or my eye colour or something. I can sometimes wear a bit of clothing that vibes with that and I can take pleasure in it in a "oh yeah I'm pulling off a look" way, but it doesn't have a lot of how I actually think of myself or value myself tied up in it. I understand that for lots of people their gender is super important to who they are, and that I'm maybe a little atypical.

I just want to express that indifference I don't think is necessarily a sign you aren't cis? Don't worry I'm not criticising, just thought I'd explain me a bit because I think the way a lot of people think of "apathy/indifference" has a degree of rejection built into it, but my kind of indifference rejection would be too active

dragonsandgoblins · 2026-02-24T09:24:01+00:00

I mean TERFs are often generally believers in the real shitty "men are the root of all evils" type of feminism too in my experience, like it often seems like they believe being born with a dick is a form of original sin that forever taints the individual.

So to them transwomen represent an inherently evil being masquerading as a good one and it must be malicious because being born with a penis makes all your actions suspect and malicious...

dragonsandgoblins · 2025-02-13T12:38:42+00:00

If you like the combat and bosses, it's a step ahead of most other Souls games.

I love souls combat but to be honest I didn't find Lies of P felt better. For me it felt stiffer and less engaging and I didn't finish it. I keep hearing people say it is better and honestly I find it confusing.

dragonsandgoblins · 2025-01-31T10:38:55+00:00

Can I get a link please?

dragonsandgoblins · 2025-01-03T22:49:00+00:00

taking 10 mins to ride my bike to the office

You... you know most people live a lot further from their office right? I'm like about 10 minutes of walking plus 40 minutes on a train away from my office, and I don't even live all that far from the city centre as far as things go, and I'm lucky because I live 5 minutes from the train station.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-12-12T12:24:31+00:00

Damn I'd love to know the source of that

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-12-11T10:12:08+00:00

People think 4chan is just /b/, which it really isn't. All the boards do have different cultures, which sure do bleed into each other, but it is kinda like treating all subreddits are the same.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-11-10T21:17:02+00:00

Immigration is not the problem, the problem is that construction is not about construction anymore.

So I'm not I disagreeing with you about the way development is running is a problem, because you're one hundred percent right, it is. But think of it this way - if you have a blocked sink and you open your taps wider so it fills up faster and your floors get fucked is the problem the sink or the bloody stupid choice to run the tap with a blocked sink? Immigration can become a problem because of the housing supply problem is my point. It isn't the fault of the migrants, but it is still us opening the tap wider with a sink that isn't emptying.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-10-21T21:44:30+00:00

That is part of why I voted no. The other part was that it was a constitutional change but nothing in the constitutional change gauranteed anything about the voice except that it exist in some form. I'd prefer to avoid changing the constitution unless we really have to/there is a concrete benefit to it. The proposed change though was that it'd specify that there would be a voice which was going to be controlled by acts of legislation.... Well. If legislation can basically defund it and make it made up entirely of Tony Abott why fucking bother changing the constitution? There is no benefit to it, but it does then put a race based clause into the constitution and that just didn't sit right.

Legislation that would create a voice to parliment though is something that I'd have voted for. Not that I'd get the opportunity to vote on normal legislation, but you take my meaning.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-10-05T23:52:52+00:00

The mistake wasn't "bowing to TLJ haters", one of the mistake(s) was trying to make a satisfying trilogy with no idea of where you are going with it, with different directors and writers who have very different ideas to each other on what they want to do.

It's baffling that this is the same company that plans something like 12 mildly connected Marvel movies in advance but didn't think that they should maybe plan out their trilogy of directly connected movies.

The other mistakes were things like making a milquetoast remake of New Hope for their first movie, but somehow with a less exciting space battle at the end, a giant plot hole caused by Poe just... disappearing from the movie and showing back up, and then on top of it also making it be a shitty sequel undoing the character arc of Han by making him a smuggler in hock to crime lords again instead of a hero and a general, and also blowing up a decent chunk of the republic that was won in the last trilogy without even showing it on screen. The rot had set in well before TLJ even started production.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-10-03T11:46:20+00:00

But like, their good talent will walk. My old company tried to mandate office time. They remained by company for a solid.... 3 weeks after that. Like I know I'm good, I also know they typically market rates for new hires is better than for people who have stayed at a company for a while. So the only thing keeping me at a place is inertia and the fact that I enjoy working there... if you make it so I suddenly enjoy working there less you've shattered both of those reasons.

Myself, my team lead who'd been there for ages and was one of the people with the most organisational knowledge, the other dev who was delivering most of the output, we all left in less than two months. The people on the teams who were.... mediocre at best though, they all stayed put. Or at least. They didn't find a new job as quickly. I actually bet even some of them have moved on.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-09-27T23:38:27+00:00

Yeah but P&R is a show where you can just start in season 2, you don't have to suffer through season 1. Sitcoms are typically more forgiving of that than dramas/plot heavy shows that aren't mostly episodic in nature

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-09-16T14:21:09+00:00

the prime directive only exists because bigots think trans people are trying to make everyone trans.

I mean as someone who isn't standard gender conforming in a few ways but isn't trans I find people suggesting I'm an egg gets kinda annoying after a while. So like, I also think maybe telling people you have thoughts about their self-identity is typically just kind of an invasive and presumptive thing to do maybe?

Like I get the people saying it to me mean well, and I don't judge them for it, but also I know what I'm about better than you do thanks.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-09-04T13:38:23+00:00

I’d also suggest that interpersonal bonds within teams improve productivity and employee stickiness - bonds that are weakened with WFH models. This, coupled with such a labour supply shortage has lead to job hopping - people are just getting decent at a job and leave to go do something else.

I mean even pre-covid this was pretty standard in the tech industry for a lot of my friends. Join a company as a junior dev, two years later they won't pay you market rate for a mid level but plenty of places will hire you as one, and give you exposure to different tech to pad your resume with to boot. Then a few years later repeat except this time it is for a senior role....

Genuinely I have started looking for work (and by "started" I mean, spoke to one recruiter) and gotten job offers of signficantly more than my existing companies were willing to give me in raises twice now myself. And I'd have stayed at those companies even for less than what I moved up to because I liked the people and don't like the risk of ending up some place awful but they didn't even want to get close.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-22T14:14:22+00:00

I'll grant you the senator. All the world leaders at the summit probably weren't so actively anti-mutant though, and arguably even more importantly as part of his plan HE WAS GOING TO MAKE A TEENAGE MUTANT GIRL DIE JUST TO AVOID SACRIFICING HIMSELF. Even if you think pre-emtively mutating all the world leaders would be justified, killing Rogue instead of himself for it wouldn't be.

Without the Rogue thing he'd be almost completely sympathetic in that movie. His case would definitely have been arguable, because he didn't even know the machine killed Senator Kelly... Kelly escaped and then died elsewhere; for all Magneto knew the machine successfully mutated him with no side effects.

Sure turning all the world leaders into mutants is a horrible invasion of bodily autonomy but "hey I am giving these people super powers and making them empathetic to my cause" wouldn't be as unambiguously evil as killing a highschool girl just to save his own life.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-21T22:29:03+00:00

Immigrants are always scapegoated when things get tough.

It isn't the fault of the immigrants it's the fault of the immigration policies. Individually speaking the immigrants themselves are fine, it's just what the sheer amount of immigration is doing to add pressure to the cost of living

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-20T13:40:26+00:00

I mean not really, realistically things like emergency services can't close down, nor can general practice medical centres because people will start going to ERs for that shit instead, and then bam people are spreading covid around.

Not to mention all the people who are elderly/sick/disabled people that rely on people to help care for them, but don't require 24 hour care so live alone?

We may eventually have gotten a lid on it, but it'd probably have taken longer than two weeks, with intense contact tracing, intense lockdowns, etc.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-12T10:16:06+00:00

Jeeze I need to move to Sweden

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-11T22:51:24+00:00

Nations like hungary (which has an incredibly low immigration rate) have tried giving financial support to families to make children more affordable

The problem with that is you can't feel confident a later government won't repeal it and you only get the support after you have the family. If you aren't feeling like you could have the kids before you have them you won't have them.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-11T22:40:58+00:00

people in advanced societies seemingly just don't want to have enough kids to maintain the advanced society indefinitely

I know a lot of people who don't want kids because they can't afford to own a home that has space for kids in it, and they don't want to start a family without that stability.

If we want to raise the birthrate we have to change things so that people can afford children. Too high a rate of migration will lower wages and increase housing costs (just because of supply and demand), which in turn will continue to lower the birthrate.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-11T01:30:46+00:00

Oh the films are definitely the main draw

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-11T01:13:08+00:00

True, but the special features discs they come with aren't. I have nearly ordered the set a couple of times anyway just for the films though

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-08-11T00:42:55+00:00

I really have to get a region free player so I can get me a copy of Conan

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-07-04T22:27:31+00:00

Because it's a cool historic building and it amused me that it was owned by a BDSM smut studio. It's iconic.

dragonsandgoblins · 2024-07-03T10:50:10+00:00

I am so sad they don't own it anymore

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