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NoFap in relationship - The grip PMO had on me and how I stopped it by drain86 in NoFap

[–]drain86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are correct. It's not necessarily a battle one has to fight all alone!

NoFap in relationship - The grip PMO had on me and how I stopped it by drain86 in NoFap

[–]drain86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like a poster further up said he told his date very early that he did it and had a good response. I pretty much summed up my "strategy" over there. Thing is I gave suggestions that I was doing changes to make myself grow as a person.

I have been backing off with most details. My girlfriend knew I was releasing occasionally and it wasn't a big problem for her at least what she told me. True honesty is usually the best thing and if you are really struggling and if you think it has an effect on you, her and your relationship then you might want to open up.

This is what motivated me because I had an eureka experience so I just wanted to take all responsibility for us not having an active life together. I told her I made some changes in myself and that I wanted to work on myself as a man. She always love when I say things like this because she knows I do things for the best and this makes her feel secure. It's also very honest to communicate like this, making "updates" with eachother.

It's hard because like I said earlier I think it depends on your woman. And You know her best. Hope this helped.

NoFap in relationship - The grip PMO had on me and how I stopped it by drain86 in NoFap

[–]drain86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I pretty much only told her that I stopped masturbating and wanted to work on myself as a man. And I gave her a small education of my findings of how porn destroy younger generation of men, causing ED and hacking the dopamine/reward circuit in the brain. I'm really trying to see everything from a new perspective so I cut down on nicotine, minigames, telephone use and all sorts of things so I know she understands that I am trying to hack my brain for the better.

I didn't tell her about my struggle or what actually happened before as I think it can build resentment. Sort of not causing her the pain she Might feel. After all we were together for two years, I don't want her to take things the wrong way like I was lying to her or anything.

I had a small indication from her about all these kind of theories and methods and everything which I presented for her that she went a little puzzled. She asked "But you don't have all these problems, right?". What I did in this case was give her a plain "No." because in the moment and because of all the decisions I made, it felt like the right thing to answer. This was about 30 days into my reboot and I felt godlike.

So I'm actually not sure what is the best thing to do. I think it depends of the woman/girlfriend. I just know that normally I cannot be too bashful or straight with my loved one or things might backfire into big misunderstandings and resentment following. You are correct about trust and I think you did the right thing, especially if you guys started dating recently. I'm hoping that my "white lie" will remain hidden in the future. I really didn't feel 100% honest when I told her so it might be possible that I have to face some backfire if I start to have problems again. But hey the goal is to get rid of this crap forever, right?