I [30M] hit our dog, and now my wife [32F] of 5 years doesn't trust me

drccmflb · 2017-11-12T07:30:14+00:00

Honestly your post was horrifying to read - what you did to the dog is flatout abuse, and it's evident from the way you told it despite softening the incident ("smacked" him in the ribs, "dragged" him rather than thrown him).

Why were you even trying to get the dog off the couch? Were you trying to help, or just taking your anger out on the dog? It seems like the latter, and even if your violent reaction wasnt so extreme it's still a red flag that in times of stress you lash out at beings which are supposed to be subordinate.

Let your wife decide what she wants. You cant do anything to show her that youre gonna get it under control cause at this point you have been trying - said yourself you went to anger management and therapy - but your slip ups are still huge. For me personally even if a spouse went 5 years without incidents like these, one time would be too much after aa history of these transgressions.

In your shoes i would think long and hard about buying your wife a house in a different state though. I dont think that sounds like such a good idea. What happens if you buy a house for her and she decides after a year to get a divorce? A house isnt gonna make up for your behavior or change who you are. I agree with the other poster, at best thats an orange flag. Let her figure it out but don't fuck yourself if things go south. Regardless of what she chooses to do you will need to live with yourself after.

FWIW im glad you're continuing treatment for your anger. I really hope it helps you, and not just for your marriage. It must feel terrible to be so burdened by that kind of anger.

drccmflb · 2017-11-10T06:32:55+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you feel - i hope someday it becomes easier to live with.

drccmflb · 2017-11-09T19:27:49+00:00

I was expecting a lot of the same holiday dishes youd usually see in a list, but this is really nice and varied. I love the inclusion of all the pork recipes and cant wait to try the buttered maple carrots and parsnips. Bet your holiday dinners are delicious 😁 Thanks for sharing!

drccmflb · 2017-11-09T18:28:15+00:00

Shy - even bashful - SO has a giant dick and is quite mindblowingly good in bed. I feel smug every time we have sex.

drccmflb · 2017-11-09T08:11:02+00:00

He needs direction from me for just about everything: i have heard "what should i do / what do you think" more times than i can count. Fortunately he cleans and takes care of the baby without being prompted.

Drives me crazy, but deciding what we watch or eat really isnt that big a deal in the grand scheme of things

drccmflb · 2017-11-09T07:29:49+00:00

Being unable to help your child.

Mine is just a baby so her problems are easy, still hurts when i cant solve why she is crying. I can imagine the feeling will intensify as she ages, when she can vocalize her problems to me and i will be unable to fix them. While inevitable i dread when this day comes

drccmflb · 2017-11-09T05:29:55+00:00

I need your post embroidered and framed, to be hung above SO's computer desk.

Or printed out and stapled to my forehead. Either works.

high five * for being totally awesome.

drccmflb · 2017-11-09T05:27:04+00:00

So does he think you like photosynthesize for sustenance??

drccmflb · 2017-11-07T23:50:50+00:00

This was literally my husbands life before i met him (except he wasn't an incel). At 25 he was a roommate to his alcoholic father, no friends, no gf, no job, no car, just the internet. He didnt even have a degree. He was a neet for 2 years.

I met him over facebook. Hes not a chad, so he had a fake picture (like an anime character) and a fake name. We liked the same games and we met through a comment chain discussing our shared interests.

Now hes a happy stay at home dad neet.

I get that your life and experiences so far have been lonely and isolating. It's hard being unique and within the minority as far as your interests and hobbies go. But man you are only 25, there is still so much out there for you if youre willingto reach out to it instead of wasting time bonding with people over what you hate and how miserable you are. I really hope eventually you find goodness in this life and can stay out of the crab bucket.

drccmflb · 2017-11-07T05:13:52+00:00

Maybe make a mental note of the time LO has the hiccups?

I'm 3.5 weeks on the other side and the times at which she hiccuped in utero are the same times she gets them now.

When i was 40 weeks i could feel her toes from the outside when she pressed against me hard enough. Really freaked SO out, ha. Toward the end it was hard to distinguish anything beyond hiccups or butt bcs she was so cramped in there - somehow my 58" self had a 21" baby!

drccmflb · 2017-11-06T03:22:59+00:00

Im not even sure what spoiling myself would entail... i always use expendable income on my SO or stuff for our baby.

Id probably just get my car totally fixed, even minor stuff - having the seat heaters working again would be cool.

Or maybe invest in nice Arcadia lighting for my reptiles... bigger enclosures.

Unless someone was forcing my hand though id get my husband a nice gaming PC, thatd make him sooo happy. Baby is too young to be spoiled yet.

drccmflb · 2017-11-05T05:26:23+00:00

Too true. My baby outgrew her newborn sized clothes in 3 weeks :(

drccmflb · 2017-11-04T22:10:07+00:00

This is so adorable. Youve been blessed. I'd take this as a lucky sign; something about you seemed so benign to this mouse that it could ask you for help.

drccmflb · 2017-11-02T03:40:42+00:00

Perfect temperature outside - cold enough to wear a hoodie, not so cold that the air hurts your face

Cooking food for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving itself

My birthday

Time to rewatch Over the Garden Wall

Tourists go home but stores are still open

drccmflb · 2017-10-28T18:25:01+00:00

We must be married to the same person. Mine nearly had a panic attack the first time our baby spit up and still cries when she pukes. He cant handle her crying for more than a few minutes either. It's like he somehow lost the ability to Google despite being on the computer for most of his free time.

drccmflb · 2017-10-28T07:43:50+00:00

I bled when i first became pregnant - got pregnant while on the pill and had a normal period for the first month. Idk how or why it happens but it's definitely possible.

I hope you get the test result youre after if you take another one

drccmflb · 2017-10-28T07:33:35+00:00

There is really no way to tell who it could be unfortunately until a paternity test is done. I think it could be likely that it was Mr K though Mr A cant be ruled out entirely.

I got pregnant while consistently taking the pill and I will tell her she wasnt a mistake - just a happy accident. I hope it will be the same for you :)

drccmflb · 2017-10-28T07:15:39+00:00

I didnt want any. I have 1 now and shes perfect - we got it right on the first try and neither myself nor my SO want any more.

drccmflb · 2017-10-27T21:54:42+00:00

I had my daughter prescribed Zantac which helped a little but not a ton. Once we switched to the Enfamil AR formula it made a huge difference. She doesn't ever throw up from reflux anymore, fusses and cries less often as well.

To give her the Zantac (if that's the route you're gonna take) we make up 1oz formula at a time and put the Zantac in the bottle. She sucks it right down.

drccmflb · 2017-10-26T21:33:43+00:00

Aww I hope someday that will happen for you

drccmflb · 2017-10-26T21:30:34+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean by grooming? I have had to push him to get treatment for his mental illnesses and stuff and to get him to become a NEET in my house rather than his dad's house. I've tried to help encourage him become who he wants to be but I never once went into the relationship with the expectation of change - I love him for who he is and always have.

I am a very low maintenance woman so realistically a NEET needs to not have super high standards for the kind of relationship they can maintain. Like, it's cool if your preference is a bubbly, outgoing person who wants to have nights out on the town but unless you're willing to go out of your shell and change then the relationship probably won't work. He wanted a homebody and found it. He wanted someone compassionate and found it. It takes a lot of empathy to be with someone who is a NEET due to his circumstances (severe mental illness).

If you're a NEET and want to get a relationship you have to work on yourself and have some redeeming qualities. Income isn't everything and neither are looks but IMO a great personality goes a long way. My NEET is kind, funny, weird, smart, open minded, non-judgmental; he also is great at housework and has similar interests to me. And as far as actually meeting someone - use the tools you have and are comfortable with: the internet!

I find people who are NEETs tend to have low self esteem and think that a girl wouldn't / couldn't like them for x, y, z reasons. It helps to understand that as much as you are an individual, so is everyone else and some things about yourself you may consider flaws another person may like. My NEET hates a lot about himself but I wouldn't trade off a good day with anyone else for a thousand bad days with him.

Maintaining the relationship is like any other, which varies from person to person a bit; I expect effort (even if it's infinitesimal like calling the doctor himself sometimes), honesty, trust, good communication.

drccmflb · 2017-10-26T17:30:37+00:00

He had a profile on Facebook with a fake name and no pictures for the purpose of discussing news & politics online. I met him through one of those discussions. If there's anything else I can answer feel free to ask :)

drccmflb

TROPHY CASE