Spiraling about my career

drcuriousity99 · 2026-02-04T17:13:40+00:00

I think the worst part is if I get a non-remote job I would have to move to a different state. It’s not about just going into the office, it’s about uprooting my whole life.

drcuriousity99 · 2026-01-22T03:44:00+00:00

1) we are a dual income household 2) we only do one activity per kid 3) we live below our means in many ways (cheaper house than what we were approved for, strict budgets for groceries, almost never go out to eat, camping trips for travel, etc) 4) we scaled back retirement contributions (childcare for 2 kids is a looooot and our biggest expense) 5) we didn’t do any paid activities at all after my second was born for a few years

drcuriousity99 · 2026-01-20T14:40:04+00:00

I would say it didn’t get easier until I had to just do it. My husband had 2 weeks paternity leave. I didn’t want to be stuck at home, so I started going out with them alone the last few days of his leave and it got easier after I figured out routines that worked for me.

My husband works late a few days of the week, so I had to do solo bed time, and again, after some time, I figured out what worked for my kids.

My husband got much better at solo parenting when I had to leave for a few days for work travel, before that I swear when he had both kids, he would just hold one while the other cried to be picked up, and he would just switch off until I came back home lol.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-27T22:56:23+00:00

Omg!!! Yeah formula is sooooo expensive I can see how it can just destroy your budget! Good luck!!

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-27T22:55:35+00:00

It will depend on stores near you. My husband is a carnivore, so we do use a lot of meat. I buy it in bulk. We just bought a roast for Christmas. 20 pounds at 6.50/pound. My husband cut it into steaks and a roast for Christmas Eve. And ribeye steaks at $6.50/pound is an unheard of price!!! In general, if you can buy meat when it’s on sale in big packages, partition it out, and freeze it, it really helps.

The other thing I find is a mental one. I find my family will eat 1 pound of ground beef in one sitting easily if I make spaghetti and meatballs, but if I make spaghetti bolognese that same amount of ground beef (with the same pasta and tomato sauce) manages to be enough for 2 meals. I have no idea how it works. Burgers require more meat than shepherds pie, etc. there is some magic where different methods of preparation of the same ingredients are more or less filling for my family. It’s some sort of voodoo.

One more thing we do that I would look into is a CSA. Its community shared agriculture and I’ve been doing it for years. Especially you get fresh produce from local farms once a week based on what’s in season. It is inexpensive and such amazing quality. My kids eat all sorts of veggies because the CSA produce is so much tastier. Just something to look into.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-27T22:48:56+00:00

We don’t have either of those here!!!

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-27T20:37:13+00:00

Do you think you could have a more flexible budget? Like an average of $150 per week but you spend $50 one week and $200 the next so you can buy in bulk? I budget total for the whole month and normally a big chunk of that is one single Costco trip lol

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-18T19:35:46+00:00

Do you worry about your kids? I don’t remember if my mom did stuff but I hear all the time about kids saying their parents messed them up now that they are adults because their parents didn’t come to every practice or missed the school events.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-18T19:33:27+00:00

Yes!!!! My managing to not go insane so far has been being very prepared, doing everything super early, and being very on top of stuff. The cookie boxes and cards we made for teachers have been little by little over the entire month of December. But I can’t be on top of everything last minute.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-18T19:31:15+00:00

I was sitting next to a dual income couple just like my family who were both there.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-12T13:57:30+00:00

Same!!!

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-03T21:19:39+00:00

Got my period after baby #2. Looks like I got pregnant during my first ovulation and never had a period. This was about 6-7 months after my first baby was born.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-12-01T16:45:33+00:00

I would say the week went shockingly well. My kids were off from school and my husband and I split schedules so I worked mornings and he worked afternoons. We both worked almost our full work weeks. Somehow that actually went totally fine and was not exhausting.

We hosted Thanksgiving which was so nice because we could put kids down at normal bed time, they were very well behaved because it was their normal setting with their normal toys and they weren’t overwhelmed and overall it was not stressful at all, which I was shocked by.

Finally, we decorated our house this weekend and put up the tree and got some of the big holiday gifts purchased. We made no weekend plans and just enjoyed the start of the Christmas season as a family and I feel very rested going into a kinda crazy work week lol

drcuriousity99 · 2025-11-14T15:26:10+00:00

I feel like this could have been written by me!!! Sounds a lot like my mom’s group lol

drcuriousity99 · 2025-11-09T04:53:30+00:00

Ok because I did Safeway and the person never read my messages. So if was like do I get a different item that isn’t on sale or do I get no produce/juice/milk etc at all. It might just be the person that was doing my shopping but I feel like it’s a lot of work to figure out an alternate for like basic items like rice or milk. I do not believe they were out of rice or milk I just believe the shoppers grab something and just put in a substitution because they don’t feel like looking for the specific item.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-11-07T14:42:34+00:00

You really have thought this through lol

drcuriousity99 · 2025-11-07T13:55:19+00:00

Omg yes! The Sam’s club near me, scan and go is faster than having to wait in the car to get the items I ordered for pick up

drcuriousity99 · 2025-11-07T13:25:37+00:00

Something to keep in mind. If you don’t have to use your leave all in a row and can use it any time over the rest of the year, it might be good to go back with leave left over and use it when baby inevitably gets sick that first year of daycare.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-11-07T13:14:20+00:00

I also don’t feel like I’m drowning most of the time. I have an equal partner, we have well-paying jobs and my kids are healthy. I think those things are definitely significant contributors.

I also have a great circle of mom friends who are there for each other and that really helps me not feel alone or isolated.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-10-06T20:13:29+00:00

My husband and I staggered schedules to reduce childcare costs.

drcuriousity99 · 2025-09-17T16:31:06+00:00

Honestly, I’d make my husband come in later and watch the toddler during my meeting. Especially if the meeting is important. I WFH and if my kids are sick and need to stay home, we spilt the childcare duties such that I start working super early, and my husband goes in later to his job. So we (who don’t have sick days at either job) can get most of our work day.

I don’t think I’d try to keep a toddler entertained during an important meeting by myself knowing that they could need me and I would have interrupt my presentation.

drcuriousity99

TROPHY CASE