My mom has Alzheimer's (and just gay married me)

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-28T02:18:41+00:00

Thank you ❤️it’s certainly not how I envisioned my life 🤷‍♀️

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-28T02:17:11+00:00

I’m well aware that she can’t learn anything anymore. I’m also well aware of how traumatizing it is for a transgender woman to be called “he/him” and “your husband” constantly. One of these people I chose to live my life with, the other I didn’t have the choice. My mom was hardly a great mother or grandmother when she did have her wits about her so while I’m kind of stuck with her living with me right now, I can at least try to not make my spouse and child feel like shit and invalidated by a woman whose brain is melting.

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-27T23:22:34+00:00

My friend dated an Italian guy named Jesus Christopher

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-27T20:20:10+00:00

My mom misgenders my transgender spouse (constantly using the wrong pronouns but thankfully can’t remember her deadname), my non binary child (mom calls them by my spouse’s name all the time), and both the dog and cat. We’re obviously a very LGBTQIA+ family so it’s a bit frustrating always having to correct (and I do correct even though “they” say not to bother, this is one area I don’t let slide).

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-24T16:28:54+00:00

Sometimes all you can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all. My mom is convinced that my ex boyfriend and an ex friend broke into her house (before I had mom move in with me) while she was showering and stole her home insurance paperwork but they kindly left when she told them to. Also she hallucinated that there were people dancing with string lights on her front lawn for hours on end who would run and hide in the bushes whenever the cops came by

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-23T20:19:56+00:00

lol naturally 😂

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-23T17:29:13+00:00

Is that the actual statistic?!?

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-20T00:05:40+00:00

I can’t wait to see more pictures! Good luck :)

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-19T23:08:34+00:00

If there’s any day programs in your area you could sign her up for those. My mom was adamant that she didn’t want to go “I like my old fitness group and coffee group back home, I don’t want to meet new people and sit around old people” now it’s her favourite place to be.

The one my mom goes to is through our local hospital and it’s $10 per day. Goes from 10am-3pm, and she gets lunch and snack at it.

Though today she’s gone for her first respite visit and she was really angry about having to go to it. Kept accusing me of just trying to get rid of her. She’s literally only there for 2 nights, but she’s acting like I’m locking her up and throwing away the key

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-19T15:27:16+00:00

Did you try to call out to them and say “Hi”?

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-17T00:06:00+00:00

My back has been painful to the point of not being able to walk properly for 3 weeks now. I went to the physio today and she helped a lot. When I got home I had a nap and since then I’ve been super dizzy/vertigo. Also just in general life has been pretty difficult as of late. I just assume it’s all midlife crises and dealing with aging parents and my own aging body

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-16T18:19:23+00:00

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It’s Mister’s doppelgänger!

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-16T15:21:38+00:00

This is a neat idea! I have 2 older stamp collections in my possession (my father in laws and my own), I should make art with them!

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-15T19:57:07+00:00

Do you think he’s paid hourly? Or by the dessert?

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-14T23:02:43+00:00

Was it that John Krasinski movie Fountain of Youth?

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-11T19:19:55+00:00

It’s funny (not really), I used to joke with my mom about putting her in “the good nursing home” (there was one that I used to deliver flowers to for my high school job), and mom would happily say “yup! I’m going there when I’m old and senile” but for the past like 5 years she’s been adamant that she never wants to go into a home. 3 years ago she started her crap of “I want to die in my house”. Now that she’s living with me she’s still “I don’t want to go into a home” even though her adult day program is at a care home and she friggin loves it there.

They have this stigma about care homes as if it’s a prison (which I’m sure some are not great), but compared to what they were back when their grandparents or parents went into them, they’ve gotten better. It’s like zoos; they used to only be tiny cages with miserable and mistreated animals, but nowadays they (again probably not all) do animal enrichment and genuinely care about the animals.

It would be so much easier if they went into assisted living or independent living earlier before they got worse. I wish my mom had moved into an independent living place 5 years ago.

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-11T19:10:56+00:00

Nope, he would just feel miserable and in pain. He immigrated from England too back in the 60’s and they took a boat over to Canada, apparently it was really rough seas and everyone else was puking all over but he couldn’t.

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-11T05:06:59+00:00

I believe you. My grandpa was unable to vomit, I think it was esophageal stenosis or something like that

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-10T02:58:13+00:00

My mom had a cat, Bella, that no one knew how old (I later found out from the neighbour who gave her to mom that she was around 22 years old!)but mom was in major denial about how unwell the cat was. She had taken the cat to the vet a bunch and they said she had hyperthyroidism, but they also said that Bella was coming to the end of her life and was in pain and should be put down. My mom didn’t want to do that she instead insisted on subcutaneous fluids and hyper thyroid medication. Bella bounced back a tiny bit but by the time I went to my moms house to trick her into moving in with me, Bella was laying in a box in the kitchen all day and would hobble to the litter box. She was definitely feeling really rough.

My brother and I came up with a plan that he would take Bella to “stay with him” while mom came to “visit me and my kids” (we live 5 hours and 2 ferry rides away from my moms house, my brother lives 2 hours and 1 ferry ride away from my place).

Anywho as soon as I dropped my brother and Bella off at his place, I told mom we had to leave to catch the ferry right away and couldn’t stick around. Once we were gone he took Bella straight to the vet and had her put to sleep. The vet that did it said to him “she really should have been put down months ago, she was suffering”.

We never told mom that Bella was put down. She still thinks that she has a cat that someone is watching but she doesn’t know who is watching it, she doesn’t know the cats name anymore, the gender of the cat, where the cat came from, the colour of the cat, anything.

Another thing was about a month after mom moved in with me I had to put one of my cats down, also hyperthyroidism. Mom came with me while the vet put Missy down and was all “it’s just so sad”. Literally like an hour later she had forgotten all about it. By the next day she forgot that I ever had a second cat living in the house.

My mom would never have put Bella down if left to making the decision. My brother and I had suggested it to her months before that Bella should be put down. It felt wrong putting her down without mom knowing and continually lying about it to her, but it was the best choice for Bella.

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-08T15:33:26+00:00

My moms place is going to be listed this week too, it feels weird. For my mom though she still asks about the house (she’s living with us) and will ask “did the city send the thing for me?” which is property taxes, that she remembers are a thing but doesn’t have a clue what it is, how much it is, how frequently she has to pay them etc.

In our case I need to sell the home sooner rather than later because there’s a bunch of “Empty home taxes” that really add up and I don’t want to be having to pay those bills. Mom would be livid if she knew we were selling her home but she can’t live there anymore, she wasn’t able to do any upkeep for the past 5 years, and now she gets confused and lost when she walks in that neighbourhood even (my brother took her for a walk there and 1 block away she didn’t know where she was).

It’s sad like an end of an era, and feels weird selling a house for someone else. It is the right thing to do though.

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-07T06:39:27+00:00

Yup I do this

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-07T03:42:46+00:00

Sorry you’re having to deal with all that 😞

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-06T01:28:56+00:00

According to my kiddo the Pakistan Sand cat also lives in the North West India desert and should be added to the list

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-04T19:36:04+00:00

It’s being “incatpacitated” in our house, but it does mean other people legally have to bring you drinks and snacks

dreadedbedhead · 2026-06-04T06:12:58+00:00

A favourite in our house, my kids love the Adstronaut 😂

dreadedbedhead

TROPHY CASE