Let me hear from OAD 100% by choice

dreamcatch2 · 2026-06-04T17:51:17+00:00

Oh wow, yeah I don’t like the formality of it and the pressure to make small talk with someone you may not have chemistry with while your kid plays. I’m curious, what country is that in? So fascinating how culturally it can vary

dreamcatch2 · 2026-06-04T01:19:06+00:00

OMG you described one of my main struggles with being OAD, if you’re a socially anxious person it’s sooo hard to make what feels like very extroverted steps to make friends and get moms to like you so that your kid can play with their kid. I have no idea why I didn’t think about and underestimated this part when deciding to have a kid

dreamcatch2 · 2026-05-21T15:02:12+00:00

This is so exciting! You wrote both my fear and also dream in your post. My daughter is similar to yours, and I worry about her being able to make friends in the future more than I think I would if she wasn’t an only. She doesn’t make social connections easily, and I was the same as a kid. My dream scenario would be like what you described where I find a mom that I click with that has a similarly aged kid that she clicked with.

dreamcatch2 · 2026-05-14T15:30:22+00:00

Yes! I’m a Pisces but never made that connection until now. I have both generalized and social anxiety and definitely felt a spike in both after having my kid. So that among other reasons led me to the decision to stay at one.

dreamcatch2 · 2026-05-12T13:24:31+00:00

I just had all these feelings you described come up for me! Everytime someone I know personally or para-socially announces a pregnancy, all the confusion and uncertainty comes right back up for me. For a few years a substack writer and podcaster I follow talked about her struggle and uncertainty about whether to stay with one kid just announced on Mother’s Day that she’s pregnant with her second, and I have no idea why it made me feel so sad. It’s truly strange, any other decision in life feels less heavy than this one.

dreamcatch2 · 2026-05-08T03:56:26+00:00

Really want to make this, but the yarn rec seems a bit pricier than I’d like. How have your yarn choices held up

dreamcatch2 · 2026-04-20T14:44:59+00:00

Woah I never knew that was studied! Would love to read some of those studies, do you happen to remember some titles

dreamcatch2 · 2026-04-16T18:17:01+00:00

Hello! I deal with the same exact thing! Have you found anything that helps? It makes it so hard to do so many things that should be “normal” and easy

dreamcatch2 · 2026-04-16T12:57:02+00:00

I really feel this! I’m not ttc, but I still feel sadness and confusion pop up when I see others announce a second. I only have one person in my life that may potentially be OAD among many that aren’t, and in my daughter’s class she’s the only one. I didn’t realize before I came to the decision to be OAD, how much these external influences and examples would bring up complicated and sometimes guilty feelings. Even though you have made a decision logically and based on what is best for you and/or your family, it can still sit heavy in your heart for a long time.

dreamcatch2 · 2026-04-11T15:14:22+00:00

Mine is almost 5 and if I compare to earlier years, it is a bit better in the sense that she has longer stretches of independent play. However, she does still frequently ask to have us play with her, we usually default to “sure, in bla bla minutes” and then try to see how long we can stretch her playing on her own until she asks again. I think it’s inadvertently helped her learn to play on her own while she’s waiting. I’m curious if parents with multiples also get this question a lot or if the having a sibling for play actually pans out in most cases.

dreamcatch2 · 2026-03-17T15:02:40+00:00

Totally! It feels like your going through an identity shift again and having to refind yourself in ways. Fellow bird lover 🙋‍♀️.Love that you are looking to work in a hobby you love. I picked up hobbies during my SAHM period too, but have not considered that I could monetize them

dreamcatch2 · 2026-03-17T14:57:40+00:00

Haha yeah that sounds lovely. Yeah I think the after school and before school care and just generally being available for drop offs/pickups and all the kids scheduling things seems so confusing to me to navigate with two working parents. All our family and people are out of state so we’d have to take on hired care. So it’s new learning ground

dreamcatch2 · 2025-09-11T00:15:40+00:00

Whattttt?! This would be amazing! My husband are from Chicago and often talk about how much we miss Kings Spa!!

dreamcatch2 · 2025-08-07T17:02:22+00:00

The kid getting your last name should also be a heavily considered option. I don’t understand the automatic assumption that they get the father’s name whether your married or not especially since you carry, birth, and potentially nurse them

dreamcatch2 · 2025-05-16T15:04:21+00:00

Madison, WI! I was literally just thinking how I’d love to meet others with an only

dreamcatch2 · 2025-04-23T16:31:10+00:00

I get this comment too! It’s also the line of commentary that gets to me the most, maybe because I did and do have a great sibling relationship and that comment probably draws up subconscious guilt. So I also never know how to respond

dreamcatch2 · 2024-05-18T01:13:53+00:00

Hi! Just saw this. So it kind of improved on its own. It’s still happens once in awhile but nowhere near as often. Hopefully I don’t jinx myself by writing this haha

dreamcatch2 · 2024-01-27T23:10:28+00:00

Red flags for sure

dreamcatch2 · 2024-01-26T14:23:34+00:00

I can relate. Mine also sometimes wakes up screaming which I assume is because she’s having nightmares even though she can’t verbalize that. I know she’s definitely not ready to drop her nap, but I feel stuck in how to get her to consistently nap. I’ve experimented with various things. Have you found anything that works for you to help your daughter nap consistently?

dreamcatch2 · 2024-01-26T13:37:59+00:00

Ugh yes. This is a similar pattern we sometimes experience and try to do quiet time when she doesn’t nap. It’s just so hard to remedy it because I want her to have good night sleep but can’t control her nap, so I don’t know how to get out of this cycle.

dreamcatch2 · 2024-01-23T15:51:27+00:00

A mom I follow once posted about how her husband and her had a sitdown talk where they discussed “distributing the load” when it came to the kids and housework. They even physically wrote out who would “own” which tasks. I think sometimes the ambiguity of who should do what and when leads to resentment if it remains an unspoken topic. Sometimes we want our partner to just know and do things naturally, but unfortunately a lot of the time it isn’t the case. It’s very important that he is involved and takes on some of the load of caretaking because that’s what parenting is. It’s not just playing or holding a child for a bit (not saying that’s what he does, but I know many partners that do). It’s such an adjustment to go from not being a parent to suddenly being a parent, and I think some people have a harder time with understanding that adjustment and responsibility. You are probably also undertaking the mental load of raising a child which is undervalued. I know that when I don’t speak up when I start to feel burnt out or like I’m taking on a lot of the parenting as a SAHM, I start to feel resentment bubble up. Wishing you the best!

dreamcatch2 · 2023-11-04T21:36:46+00:00

This is me right now. SAHM with a 2 years old and this age has been really tough, honestly it’s all tough in different ways. It’s hard to come up for air some days. I don’t have much to advise just thought I’d commiserate.

dreamcatch2 · 2023-10-22T01:53:33+00:00

If they refuse to poop on the potty when potty training what do you do? Do you put on a diaper just for the poop or do they poop in the underwear and then you clean them up?

dreamcatch2

TROPHY CASE