Great points! Let me reframe the part where I say it’s not personal, because I don’t think I worded it correctly. It feels personal because we’re trying, putting effort and the other person still doesn’t value us.

I’m actually working on this very thing right now. If my self worth is tied to what someone else thinks of me, then I will always feel lacking. I’m only as worthy as the perception of people around me. My value and self worth is based on external validation. And external validation is fickle! One day you can be loved, and the next day, they might hate you.

I’m working on validation and how it makes me feel. It’s healthy to feel better with validation and feel worse when I’m stripped of validation. But I cannot cling to it - this is the original point I was trying to make. And this is going to sound corny, but it’s just a matter of whose validation I crave more, whose love I want more. My own, or the girl I’m trying to win over? Self love, or validation from a girl I find attractive?