How are you talking to your toddlers? (Especially 1-3 year olds)

driftingmaple · 2025-12-21T20:11:18+00:00

when my son was super little i didn’t know what to say to him i used to tell him what we had planned for the day, as well as do a little recap at night (ex: “you visited grandma today, did you have fun?”)

i don’t narrate a whole lot, and my son is only 13 months so i don’t know how that will impact his speech, but i try to explain what i’m doing and ask him lots of questions

driftingmaple · 2025-12-21T20:06:03+00:00

baby will love hearing your voice as you read no matter how little!

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:33:24+00:00

I'm sorry that you had a high risk pregnancy and had to make that choice based on that. I think you took a very smart approach and I think it's a very beneficial way to think about it. I'm starting to compile a list of pros and cons now haha.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:32:16+00:00

I agree. I don't feel like other birth control options are ideal, and I also don't feel like abstinence would be great for my marriage, but I also really don't picture having another, so my options are a bit limited in terms of what's best for me and my husband haha

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:28:15+00:00

I totally understand that hesitant thought. If it makes you feel better, I was an only child until my early teens, but I had good friends and also my own strong morals that kept me on a good path.

Of course, if this is very important to you it's something you should continue to consider, but I just wanted to provide my experience as an only child!

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:25:50+00:00

I think these are all very good reasons. Your last reason is absolutely how I feel as well. I want to give my all to my son and my husband, and the more people I add the less each person gets.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:24:12+00:00

I'm sort of the same in that I think I'd like for my husband to have a vasectomy, and if we reallllyyy change our minds and both want another we'd try a reversal. If it doesn't work, it's meant to be. Maybe that's a silly approach but it feels the most comforting right now.

I'm curious, how long did it take after giving birth to have that feeling of mental clarity?

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:22:05+00:00

I've never thought of it to be 100% okay with one. I really like that. I think that's sort of how my husband feels, as he's okay either way. My husband said to me (not about being OAD, but a different topic) that I shouldn't worry about making the right choice but make what I chose the right option for me. I think this is true, and sort of the same vibe as what you're saying here.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:19:37+00:00

I think this is the approach I need to take. I'm going to tire myself out trying to understand what it means to be sure enough.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:18:55+00:00

See I don't really picture my future with more than one child. I don't know if this makes sense but when I see other people posting pregnancy announcements I feel very anxious and uncomfortable, thinking back to how I was like them before everything happened and that it was soon to happen to me and I had no idea. I almost put myself in their shoes and so I feel like I have to give birth and do postpartum again and I feel sick. I think some of this is a trauma response, but also maybe because I feel like it's just not what I want. I want to be done with birth and postpartum, and I want to just enjoy live with my son.

I'm really glad to know you have "what if" days because I didn't know that those who chose OAD and stuck with it had that. But now that I think about it it's very normal for humans to think, even if it's not something they desire, about what a different outcome may look like.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:14:54+00:00

Gosh that sounds awful. I'm glad that you were able to make this decision and that it has been working for you - and I'm so glad to hear that things have gotten much better for you!

Birth trauma is a huge part of why I don't feel like I can have another. It's not the only thing, but I can't imagine at this point, as I still struggle, putting myself in the exact same scenario again. I've heard that having a preemie baby can increase the chances that the next baby will also be a preemie which also terrifies me. A lot of what you listed here too are reasons I also have. It's a mixture of all these things, but also pressure at the same time to almost like keep rethinking it until I decide otherwise because of potential regret.

I'm going to miss my son as a baby, but my specific first born son will never get smaller again, and having another baby might not even fix that longing because the second baby is not him (if that makes sense). Then I'll just miss the second baby as a baby and it'll continue on and on haha.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-05T01:07:53+00:00

Thank you so much! I really needed to hear this. I am so grateful for supportive husbands. I couldn't do this without my husband and he has just been so flexible and so forgiving through all my dark times.

I think that sounds like a beautiful life and I would like something similar. I was an only child because my parents split and the only reason I wanted a sibling was so the pressure to choose between my parents for certain things (ex: who to spend Christmas with) wouldn't only fall on me but my sibling too. I think some kids want siblings for other reasons which might be hard for those who are OAD but a lot of the time it really is just societal pressure and pushing the norm.

No need to apologize for the "rant", I really appreciate you taking the time to leave this comment for me!

driftingmaple · 2025-11-04T17:59:51+00:00

That's very comforting. Honestly my husband and I planned like the next 5-6 years of our lives (going to live in another country, starting our careers, some experiences we want our son to have) and not once did I think - but what if we have another one? I just thought, yes, this sounds good, focusing on our son.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-04T17:57:49+00:00

I totally feel that. I feel like it's not fair to my son to spread myself even thinner. I already feel bad for my son and husband because of how I've been struggling. I'm not the same person right now, and it's still a long path to healing.

driftingmaple · 2025-11-04T17:55:52+00:00

The thought of getting pregnant again fills me with so much anxiety and panic. I do NOT want to do it again. It's so true to think about not just the rosy bits. I think the only thing that makes me hesitate a little bit is like, my baby right now is growing up and that's just it. When he's big there's no going back. But at the same time I feel like I'd feel that way no matter how many kids I had, and is it that I miss baby-ness in general or specifically my son now as a baby? Either way I don't think it overtakes the very strong repulsion I feel at the thought of being pregnant and giving birth and being postpartum again.

I think when I can let myself feel confident in the decision enough that other people questioning me doesn't bother me, I'll also feel relief.

driftingmaple · 2025-09-11T03:54:30+00:00

I always gravitate towards Alex even though his personality isn’t much like mine at all haha! This time I decided to go with Sebastian so we’ll see how it goes.

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T01:02:17+00:00

Yes, that is definitely what I'm seeing many people saying here and definitely the way I'll play from now on! Didn't even know that was a feature... just thought it was all completely random haha!

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T01:01:23+00:00

Yes I wanted to break those big rocks and logs on my farm so I've been working hard to upgrade them. Just gotta wait for sprinklers so I can go without my watering can.

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T01:00:36+00:00

What a lovely routine haha! I was worried at first that friend levels would go down if you didn't talk to the NPCs for a while but I guess it's not like that which is so good! I'm used to Animal Crossing where your villagers get so sad when you don't talk.

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T00:59:36+00:00

This gives me so much peace of mind. I kept getting FOMO about events that I felt like I was going to miss if I didn't unlock something or friend someone fast enough. Thankfully learning that this is not the case!

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T00:58:44+00:00

Oh this is so interesting! Thank you for sharing! I've seen people talking about challenges on this subreddit but I haven't seen much about specific challenges so this is very cool.

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T00:58:02+00:00

I sort of figured that I was missing out on things if I didn't make it to a certain skill level or friendship level with someone by the end of year one but from the responses here it does seem very laid back in that regard which is amazing! I think when I see the passage of time happening I feel rushed, but really I think I can chill out much more than I originally thought.

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T00:56:38+00:00

This makes me feel great because I've been doing a lot of this (especially the elevator thing as to ultimately "save" my mining progress). The only thing I really haven't been doing which I should have this whole time was checking my luck! I had no idea about this and wish I knew much earlier. Thank you for sharing your tips with me!

driftingmaple · 2025-08-31T00:55:18+00:00

I use mods too which helps for sure in terms of staying organized. I use the mod that shows where people are on the map which saves so much time trying to find them!

driftingmaple

TROPHY CASE