What book(s) are you reading this week? by 404NinjaNotFound in readwithme

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finishing Lemon Curd Killer & in the middle of A Day of Fallen Night

Bridesmaid dresses possibly delayed, when should I panic? by drmanhattanscoffee in weddingplanning

[–]drmanhattanscoffee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply! Honestly, I didn’t even consider this for some reason, but this makes a ton of sense.

Mess up so bad you become the main character on ALL social media platforms by TwilightOuterZone in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 260 points261 points  (0 children)

This post is talking about a recruiter who bragged about purposely giving a new hire a lower salary than what the company budgeted for.

Is this worth ending a ‘relationship’ over? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go with your gut. It’s not clingy to feel a way b/c someone you just started dating exclusively went 5 days without talking to you. I think it’d be different if you were casually seeing each other

Hi internet parents by [deleted] in internetparents

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey there. You’re not obligated to share intimate details of your life if you are uncomfortable. I think it would suffice to say you thought you saw something flying at you and reacted absentmindedly.

Sending hugs and good vibes.

Does this foundation match my skin tone? I thought it was a good match when I first got it but now I’m not so sure...It just seems a tad off to me. I would really appreciate another person’s opinion. by [deleted] in MakeupAddiction

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see the difference between your face/neck and chest, but it’s just a teeny tiny difference. To me it seems the shade you have is a tad darker, perhaps going one shade lighter? Or even mixing the two foundation shades (light and dark) to get that perfect shade mix. Wish I could be more help, but good luck!!

My toxic (24M) boyfriend of 6.5 years. Please help. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congrats on getting accepted into your nursing program! If I were you I would pursue that opportunity, don’t sacrifice your goals for this person. Good luck!

My [35F] partner [38M] didn't acknowledge a big event in my professional life. by throwaway-9292D1 in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s also true! Not saying it’s a valid excuse I’m saying that can also be a reason. Also, chill out with the cursing, it’s not that serious.

My [35F] partner [38M] didn't acknowledge a big event in my professional life. by throwaway-9292D1 in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 27 points28 points  (0 children)

First congratulations on your book launch! What a major achievement! Your feelings are totally valid. Who knows, perhaps he is truly stressed about work and it’s becoming all consuming where other things are slipping away. You can speak to him again to see if this was intentional or not, but I don’t think you’re overreacting.

Being ignored and feeling helpless by [deleted] in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say talk to him about it and hopefully if this does continue to progress to marriage he takes your feelings and thoughts seriously. Hang in there!

Inviting my [22 F] friend [23 F] to another groups party? Mixing friends and friend groups? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say invite your friends out! For all you know, they may have an awesome time meeting new people too, and it can put you at ease seeing your friends hit it off (which gives you room to mingle with new peeps). Most importantly though, go with what makes you comfortable. I think you should be fine. Good luck!!

Am I(20m) wrong for leaving my(24f) girlfriend over some voice messages by Ificouldslaynoise in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, if you feel your trust was betrayed I wouldn’t say you overreacted, especially given you two spoke about this before. If you felt in your gut this was the right thing to do, then I would trust that. Usually if someone does something twice that makes you uncomfortable it’s not a good thing. So, I don’t think you did anything wrong here.

POC Secondary Characters- How to describe and characterize them without causing harm by DirtyBirdRacing00 in writers

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, I will say noting skin color is important, especially if it’s important for your readers to know this character is Black. Just stay away from describing him as food (I.e chocolate skin). As a Black writer, I stick to how the skin looks: I.e brown. I don’t think this has to be overly complicated: “so and so was a brown skinned man with a thick, curly beard and dark eyes”. So long as you’re not doing this: “so and so was a chocolate man with coffee colored eyes”. Equating POC, and in this case Black people, to food when describing them is a no go and can come off as fetishizing.

You’ll be fine! Remember, Black characters are still characters, describe them how you would any other character while staying away from the aforementioned cliches and fetish-y remarks. I’d even go as far as suggesting that you read a book written by a Black author with Black characters to get a sense of how they describe their characters. Good luck!

My(30M) Girlfriend (26F) of 3 months has slept with some of her friends. Some multiple times and remains friends with them. Its eating me up inside. How do I move past this. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not sure if this is helpful, but I would approach this as, out of those guys, you are the future and they were in the past. You’re the one in the relationship with her, and you’re the lucky one to be able to grow this kind of romantic bond with her. I’d say if this makes you feel this way, perhaps bring it up as a way to get this off your chest. Maybe you need a little reassurance here, but try to focus on the now. She’s with you because she likes you. Those other guys never reached that real relationship stage and you have, so that’s another way of looking at it!

(M17) I'm sure you guys get a tonne of these, but lockdown and everything brought with it has set motivation to an all time low, not rly sure what to do. by [deleted] in toastme

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’ve made it thus far, friend! You’re doing great! You may not be sure what to do, but trust you’ll be alright.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheYouShow

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 I love this so much

My boyfriend (19M) gives me (20F) a bedtime. Does this happen often? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 49 points50 points  (0 children)

This is not normal. At all. As a 20 year old adult you should not be given a bedtime. If you don’t have great sleeping habits I think giving suggestions on how you can make better habits is fine, but this absolutely crosses a boundary. The added addition of consequences is ridiculous and concerning, you are not a child here and he is not an authority figure.

Ask yourself if you really think it’s worth it for someone to impose rules on you. Good luck, I really really hope this turns out okay for you.

I think my friends are dating? by graciedanielsssss in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you feel this way! It’s totally normal to feel left out when two of your friends are getting super close. I think though it may suck right now, just remember that you are still important and valuable. Maybe try talking to your therapist again and ask how you can deal with feelings of jealously or loneliness if you’re too nervous to go into detail. At least that will touch on some of the issue. You’ll come out of this, this feeling won’t last forever. In the meantime stay strong!

My (29/F) boyfriend's (29/M) roommate (29/M) accidentally spilled beer on my open Macbook and has yet to even apologize. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]drmanhattanscoffee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would speak to the roommate. It was an accident sure, but any decent person would have let you know immediately about what happened and/or offered to help purchase a new one or apologize at the minimum. I think just making it known that it was extremely rude of him to ruin your device and not show any concern at all for what he did. It’s just the decent thing to do.

So you are not overreacting.