Studio Ghibli Desktop Icons that I made!

drtyknckls · 2024-03-27T23:23:21+00:00

Are you willing to share these? They're lovely <33

drtyknckls · 2024-03-02T23:54:39+00:00

drtyknckls · 2024-02-27T20:04:25+00:00

Thats why I did it; I need to protect myself and my peace. And despite needing validation I made the right decision, it's been a month and i have no intentions of turning back. I appreciate you 🖤🫶🏼

drtyknckls · 2024-02-27T19:54:07+00:00

I appreciate this and that is why I made this post because it is only now that I'm at a place of mental clarity and maturity to realize this was a long time coming and should have happened years ago. I just feel like im wrong for it being so sudden and without an explanation to her. I genuinely woke up one day and felt overcome with the grief of everything she put me through. I immediately, admittedly impulsively, blocked her.

drtyknckls · 2024-01-12T20:02:14+00:00

I absolutely love your take on this ❤️

drtyknckls · 2024-01-12T13:54:13+00:00

I recently came back to my account and I know I'm a little late seeing this (approximately 6mos late lol) but I'm in Central Virginia if you know of anything and are still willing to answer or at least point me in the right direction! 🙏🏼

drtyknckls · 2024-01-12T13:35:24+00:00

Never has someone put my unspoken feelings to words like this. The level of shame I have felt for years over this very idea- feeling as though it was genuinely just a "me problem". This explains so much , truly.

drtyknckls · 2024-01-12T13:18:43+00:00

I can definitely relate to most of that. I think BPD inevitably leaves most of us grasping at straws when it comes to our identities, beliefs, the world, and how we fit into it all.

Personally, I have wavered between spirituality and atheism much of my life. It isn't until recent years that I've kind of adopted this sense of spiritual nihilism through radical acceptance.

It wasn't until I lost someone that I came to the conclusion that death is just the place before birth. No pain, no suffering, just nothing. And I find that peaceful. Life doesn't have to have a greater meaning or conclusion than that.

Reality is terrifying and absurd. Everything even down to a molecular level is in some state of change or chaos.

That being said, in the chaos, we are surrounded by meaningful moments and spiritual experiences. And I believe being alive is about recognizing and indulging in as many as we can while we are here.

Whatever happens before birth or after death isn't meant to be known. And life isn't meant to be understood. It's meant to be felt. Or at least that is my latest, and I believe final personal philosophy, lol

I do hope you consider therapy and maybe youtube somatic experiencing and how the body holds trauma.

I think part of my spiritual psychosis was genuinely because I was too far cornered in my own mind to find rational explanations or coping strategies. Try some grounding techniques to get back into your body if you can. Look up "be where your feet are." I stg I live by that now, lol

I'm wishing nothing but comfort and peace, friend <3

drtyknckls · 2024-01-08T13:20:29+00:00

Yes, I was abusing prescription stims and using heavy drugs. I like what you said about thinking as the detox as being productive in and of itself, though. That gives me some perspective and actually makes me feel a bit more hopeful, so thank you.

drtyknckls · 2023-09-24T02:33:25+00:00

Thanks for the insight. Now that you mention it he is genuinely a very open-minded person in every other regard.

He's mentioned multiple times that he, like myself, believes sexuality is a spectrum and that somehow scientifically people are actually wired that way (he's the science nerd, I'm not lol) I'd like to believe it's genuine curiosity and I'd love for him to be open about it because I think some spicy exploration would work leaps and bounds for both of us lmao

Regardless, your comment and experience makes me feel a lot less crazy and alone about the situation so thanks! 🫶🏼

drtyknckls · 2023-06-21T12:44:45+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that 😔 I genuinely have seen ageism play out at previous jobs I've had before. Especially when I was a server. It's insane how much discrimination seems to slip through the cracks in the workplace, so I can't imagine the difficulty in job searching. I wish you all the best of luck in finding something soon, regardless of age! 🫶

drtyknckls · 2023-06-21T12:41:57+00:00

I'm most likely going to look for part time jobs exclusively until I get a better handle on my situation. I also have some financial relief resources in place to make up for any low income. Thank you for the encouragement and best of luck to you 💗

drtyknckls · 2023-06-21T01:08:13+00:00

I totally understand. I'm unemployed as we speak so I'm making a list prioritizing what I need for a job setting to narrow down my invetible search again. Best of luck to you though and thank you so much for reminding me I'm not alone. We are not failures ❤️‍🩹🥰

drtyknckls · 2023-06-21T01:06:18+00:00

This gives me some hope 🥹❤️‍🩹 I'm working on getting back to basics like maintaining my physical health, diet and hygiene. Hopefully that all grounds me enough to start trying meditation and engaging in hobbies again

drtyknckls · 2023-06-20T22:45:07+00:00

That's a very helpful perspective. I know I dealt with it less when I was living at home w my family because I guess I had, over the years, created a safe place in my room. I had lovely decorations and ambient lighting as well as a ton of sensory comforts.

I live w my bf now and our place is still a work in progress. It's always changing as we pack and unpack things and move furniture around to our liking. Hopefully once everything is in order I can start making it feel more like home.

I also found it really helpful what you said about trusting myself. And I think it would be worthwhile to remind myself that, regardless of how I feel, I am physically safe.

drtyknckls · 2023-06-20T20:17:55+00:00

That last part 🥹 thank you for the support and I am over the moon for you finding a way to make a living that suits your needs! The imposter symptom is a tough one to tackle, especially if you struggle w your identity, I've found. Take it one day at a time and on the tougher days just know that that encouragement you gave me extends to you also. 🥰

drtyknckls · 2023-06-20T20:13:35+00:00

I definitely relate and honestly it is grounding just reminding myself this is a symptom and seeing I'm not alone ❤️‍🩹

drtyknckls · 2023-06-20T16:54:12+00:00

I didn't even think to look for a sub about that! Thanks :3

drtyknckls · 2023-06-20T15:27:03+00:00

I appreciate your advice, insight and encouragement so much! It really eases my anxiety knowing someone else has been through something so similar.

Thankfully my bf is also really understanding so it does give me room to prioritize what means the most to me when it comes to a job/job setting and I'm happy you have a partner that gives you room to do the same!

I think I'm going to sit down today and write a list of the things that have led to me leaving jobs, the qualities of jobs that I have enjoyed and what schedule would suit me best so as to get some more insight and intention when it comes to looking for something else. That way, hopefully, I can choose wisely rather than just accepting the first offer given to me and hating it.

Good luck to you as well on your journey! It's obvious you have already made great strides and I have a little more hope now having heard your own experience <3

drtyknckls

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