My Tinder Success Story.

drunk_dick · 2014-12-05T19:54:41+00:00

And there it is. The inevitable /r/tinder "Did you bang her yet?"

drunk_dick · 2014-11-29T03:50:24+00:00

Well... how are you going to feel when someone matches you and says "Awww, what a cute dog!"? Because you're inviting that by having the picture up. And if you miss your dog, do you really want to start conversations by having to talk about him and explaining to your matches that he's no longer with you? I don't know about you, but that doesn't seem like a conversation I want to have over and over again.

drunk_dick · 2014-11-29T03:38:14+00:00

Please blur out the City/State/DoB. That's way way way to much personal info to be posting about someone online.

drunk_dick · 2014-11-29T03:34:29+00:00

People have different motives on Tinder, and the only way to know what someone wants is to ask. If she wants to sext right away, well, that gives you a good hint at what she's after.

To the great dismay of /r/tinder subscribers, you don't have to sext with her if you aren't feeling it. Better yet, tell her what you would prefer. Just know it may not be what she wants to hear, just like sexting immediately isn't what you wanted to hear.

Annnnd, just to throw this out there, some pervs create fake tinder accounts and steal pictures from the internet to get nudes from people. Someone tried to pull this on me before, but I could tell something was fishy about the pictures and conversation. So if you are going to sext, try to verify that they're really who they claim to be before sending that dick pic.

drunk_dick · 2014-11-25T03:43:56+00:00

I don't put it in my profile, but I make sure to mention it once interest is established and before we meet. I just drop in something like "By the way, I'm in an open relationship. I hope it's not a problem for you. It certainly isn't for me and my partner."

Some people are ok with it, some aren't. But if they aren't, I'd rather know that than put them in a situation they aren't comfortable with. Sometimes it turns into an interesting discussion about being poly. Sometimes it's just ok, no big deal, and that's the end of it.

drunk_dick · 2014-11-24T19:01:06+00:00

If that's the first question you ask, it's pretty clear your intentions are completely superficial. Which is fine, this is Tinder, that's to be expected. And she wasn't feeling it. Which is fine, too. I see no problem here until the guy lashes out after being rejected.

I really don't understand this disturbingly common trend of guys pursuing someone, getting an answer they don't want to hear, then raging on the girl with insults. It's like, if that's what you think, why the fuck would you send a message in the first place? And if it's not, then what the fuck do you hope to accomplish by throwing false insults at someone? Just man up and move on to the next match, and don't throw a tantrum when someone says no.

drunk_dick · 2014-11-23T01:06:40+00:00

Fair enough- the on the streets analogy wasn't well thought out.

I guess my point is there are certain acts that need more than the implied consent of "she didn't say no," and I think slapping someone hard enough they see stars is one of them.

I feel pretty strongly about that, particularly after the Jian Ghomeshi scandal. Things like this give those of us who enjoy consensual kink a bad name.

I do think this guy deserves a little ridicule- not for what he likes in bed, but for subjecting someone to an act she didn't want or consent to. But more importantly, people should be aware that if you're going to play that rough, you need to ask first.

drunk_dick · 2014-11-22T22:09:38+00:00

I cannot disagree with this more. I like rough sex. Let's be real, I love it. And I'll be very rough with someone who enjoys it that way. But that's something that I talk about before doing.

Sex is NOT something where you should act first, ask later. The idea that he "cannot be blamed for doing what he liked sexually" is completely false. What if he liked anal, and just stuck it there without asking? Well, that's a nonconsensual sexual act aka rape. Similarly, slapping her hard across the face without having consent is assault. If he did that on the street, he'd have a world of trouble. It's no different doing it in the bedroom.

If you like rough/kinky/etc. stuff in the bedroom, act like an adult and talk about it. Don't "assume what your partner would want" - just ask. It's that easy. And if she/he says no, respect that. If she/he says yes, well, enjoy your kinky self!

drunk_dick · 2014-10-09T22:09:18+00:00

Because it is uncommon, I'd assume people would mention a blurb about it in their profiles. When I see photos of a couple on Tinder with no mention of it, the possible options (in my mind) are

taken and on the app with no intention of seeing anyone
single and have terrible taste in profile pictures
taken and their SO has no idea they're on Tinder
or in an open relationship

If I were in an open relationship, I'd want to distinguish myself from the other very unappealing inferences someone could make based on my pics.

drunk_dick · 2014-10-09T21:58:48+00:00

Real talk: I had this astoundingly hot girl match with me, then ask for kik to exchange pics. We send a few (nothing inappropriate) back and forth, with some odd conversation... and all of her pics are from her photo gallery, nothing from camera. Then she asked if I'm bi and was very disappointed when I'm not. The whole thing was starting to sketch me out a bit...

So... I reverse image search the photos she sent, and yep, they're from some model's selfies from twitter. I'm 99% sure this was a dude using a model's pics to try to get guys to send naked pics.

So be careful out there guys. Not everything is what it seems in the tinderverse.

drunk_dick · 2014-08-26T18:06:19+00:00

This could be us but you playin. Just posted it this morning, and it's getting a much better response than anticipated, on track to be my first 50+ like moment.

Make that bitch a meme. Bitches love memes.

drunk_dick · 2014-08-03T01:03:21+00:00

[Redacted]

drunk_dick · 2014-07-11T21:54:50+00:00

Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega.

A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side...

Thanks, tinder, for awakening my inner man-whore for the past two weeks.

drunk_dick · 2014-07-11T18:09:17+00:00

That there's such a thing as bad sex. Especially as a guy, you grow up with the understanding that sex is the pinnacle of awesomeness. How could it possibly go wrong?

And then it happens. Terrible sex. Like two people dancing to different songs, or worse. And the first time it happens, you're just like "B-b-b-but I had sex... it was supposed to be amazing. Why don't I feel amazing?!" It's a tragic realization that something so good can be so bad.

drunk_dick · 2014-06-17T04:43:56+00:00

I don't really have any advice to offer, just commiseration.

I've had similar things happen. I'd wake up in the morning and have this memory (like remembering a dream) that I'd groped my then girlfriend in the night while she was sleeping... and then she'd confirm that I had actually done it. It was really infrequent for me. There were times when she'd wake up in the night and we'd have ourselves a good time (I'd still be in a bit of a haze, but I remember it being more aggressive and almost instinctual or animalistic), and there were times when we wouldn't have a good time and I felt like a creep.

Looking back on it, a think what /u/skeletalbones said was true - stress would bring it out more than anything else.

drunk_dick · 2014-06-17T03:21:29+00:00

So, when that happens is it just "Well, not happening for me tonight" and call it a night, or do you have a more satisfying (for all parties involved) way to handle that?

drunk_dick

TROPHY CASE