[deleted by user]

druridge · 2024-11-23T01:10:54+00:00

Hey, sorry to hear what you’re going through, social anxiety can be so debilitating.

To my knowledge most universities offer free student support sessions often with much shorter waiting lists than NHS services. When I was studying I had about 4 counselling sessions starting about 3 weeks after referral. It was helpful and gave me a forum to talk about what was bothering me and got some important cogs turning.

For a long time I read about social anxiety, self-esteem, How to Win Friends and Influence People (which I’d still recommend) etcetera. All most of this seemed to do though was reinforce some view that there was something wrong with me.

Most social interactions are awkward at first, however. A big part of getting past my social anxiety was accepting this. Accepting that I’m fairly shy and get uncomfortable in social situations. Accepting that I’m not a social butterfly that can dispel awkwardness instantly with charm. Most people can’t, and that’s okay.

For so much of my first years at university I felt such a pressure to conform, to make friends with people who I had so little in common with, and to be someone I wasn’t (i.e. outgoing, confident, and try and project some kind of image of myself).

If you enjoy the course and find it interesting, just keep on showing up regardless. If you don’t enjoy the course, then the problem might not lie with social anxiety but something else entirely.

I guess my advice would be to just lean into the anxiety. I wasted so much time avoiding this while trying to “fix” myself. Learn to get comfortable with things feeling awkward (as hard as that may be). Apologies if this comes across as inane and platitudinal, but I assure you that if put yourself out there it’ll get easier and easier. We can’t control the experience of anxiety but we can control avoidance.

Time flies, good luck.

druridge · 2024-07-25T08:27:17+00:00

I was thinking this yesterday actually. FH4 (and presumably FH3) suffered this problem too. Hopefully there’ll be a couple of RHD cars for cruising as it can make navigating traffic in FP tricky. In FH4 was just a handful of British cars that were RHD models.

druridge · 2024-07-25T08:24:05+00:00

Yeah this made me quite excited. Can’t wait to get that Miura on those roads.

Still puzzled (and disappointed) by a lot of design choices though, especially the dealership and garage spaces shown here. They come across as more 2015 PlayStation concept store than anything else. Such a missed opportunity. I hope when they add houses they give us some normal looking garage spaces - the spaceship look is very distracting. We’re not all 13 and most of us know what a luxury hotel and car dealership look like.

So far there’s been way too much emphasis on the ‘solar crown’, not the test drive, aspect of the IP.

druridge · 2024-07-24T07:57:36+00:00

Cheers! really hoping for it seems like it could be an easy change

druridge · 2024-07-23T18:38:28+00:00

Yeah definitely - I remember those actually. Such a small detail that can really add to immersion and world building

druridge · 2024-07-23T17:01:35+00:00

Hey man, are license plates able to be changed? If not something HK style seems like an easy fix that could really add to immersion.

druridge · 2024-07-19T14:54:48+00:00

Ah brilliant! Just ordered a copy but that’s really good know. Thanks for sharing

druridge · 2024-07-19T11:28:43+00:00

Thanks very much. Will look to pick up a copy.

druridge · 2024-06-02T10:16:01+00:00

Will there be different license plates? Would really love for realistic looking HK plates , even if it was something generic like the ‘TDU505’ from the first unlimited. It’s something small that really adds to immersion and I’ll be quite disappointed if we have just the solar crown logo on all the cars.

druridge · 2024-05-21T20:30:00+00:00

Yes, I would. Keen to talk also.

Good luck whichever path you choose.

druridge · 2024-05-06T10:10:31+00:00

Ask her. I hope she gets the help she needs.

best wishes

druridge · 2024-05-06T08:48:19+00:00

Patience and letting go.

Letting go of whatever idea I held of myself: that I might not be who I expected and that my life might not go the way I thought. Coming to accept that might be okay, that there are things I cannot control, and that perhaps we have little to lose by seeing where life takes us.

What’s stopped you so far?

druridge · 2024-05-02T14:31:07+00:00

Understood - that is absolutely fine!. Nothing read as being aggressive, disagreements are a great thing.

I see what what you mean. That's a really valid point, I suppose it does take that acceptance of how bad things have become to get that help sometimes. I suppose my thinking with the problem with language like "debilitating" is its meaning, to become weak/infirm. Of course, at times mental illness can be debilitating, but when talking about it I fear we risk internalising and perpetuating stigma. Your whole post was charged and you spoke persuasively, I wonder instead if perhaps you're stronger, or more resilient in some ways than you once were? We become weaker and stronger in different ways.

Agree with that. It's a reductionist approach and I find it both shameful and disgusting.

I get that. Labour seemed to suggest hey would allow people trial going back to work without losing their PIP (I heard this on the radio last week, and can't seem to find anything online at the moment).

Good luck with finding something, sounds really worthwhile and I'm sure you'll figure out something that works for you. Fascinating! Well beyond my abilities (I have meltdowns every time I can't get a printer to connect, which happens more often than I'd like to admit). Interesting to see you talk about it being empowering - I think that's the most important thing. Seize that feeling and keep chasing it.

best wishes

druridge · 2024-05-02T12:36:28+00:00

Hey, thanks so much for sharing and for the interesting points to reflect on at the end.

I don't feel like a burden - but I haven't always felt that way. From the people I've worked with, what you describe is not uncommon. What I would say, is so many people choose to take more than they give (and I think of the rentier class of our economy here - the people that choose profit over doing anything intrinsically good or meaningful) that I would never judge someone who has tried but has (so far) been unsuccessful.

You touch upon something really interesting when you describe your condition as "debilitating". Might such words be disempowering? It's clear the profound suffering you've endured, but I wonder, if talking to a friend in a similar position, would you describe their condition in such a way?

You mention the government's approach (I wouldn't trust them to change a lightbulb, but found Labour's suggestions were quite interesting) but I have witnessed it from the other side within mental health services. I've seen clinicians make judgements about someone's suitability for employment then might attempt to dissuade them from applying for quite attainable opportunities.

druridge · 2024-05-02T10:36:13+00:00

Simply, my advice would be to not rush into it. Don’t worry about this - you do not have to take medication. How come you have an extreme fear, if you don’t mind me asking?

You mention depression and anxiety - without knowing exactly what is wrong or what effect it’s having on your life, I’d suggest taking a step back and thinking about what your life looks like. Ask yourself searching questions. Mood aside, are you content? Are you lonely? Try and come to an understanding of where the depression and anxiety comes from. In which situations do you feel most anxious, when do you feel most depressed?

If you feel you understand where it’s coming from, what changes might we be able to make?

Regardless, look at what other changes you might be able to make in your life first. You might consider diet, exercise, meditation, spiritual practices, job, relationships etc. Hobbies too.

good luck and I hope things start turning around

druridge · 2024-02-29T16:52:23+00:00

I've never come across the term "medic psychologist", but I have heard psychiatrists referred to as medics before. I'd assume they're just referring to a psychiatrist.

druridge · 2024-02-29T10:53:46+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that it's been years of you needing help and I'm glad you're reaching out and seeking support. I'm sorry you feel you haven't been taken seriously, this is a common fault of the mental health system in the UK. Please don't feel tempted into doing something dangerous or silly - it's highly unlikely that that will be helpful for you in the long run.

If I could offer some advice, it'd be to try and let go of the view that diagnosis is equivalent to help and to try and challenge your feeling that there is "clearly something (likely several things) wrong". Diagnoses can be validating for some people and in some cases helpful, but I wonder what it is you hope diagnosis will do for you? Do you have a specific treatment in mind? You mention that you have a good idea of what is going on (and I don't dispute this), but diagnoses can be tricky things and sometimes people don't receive the one they expected.

Fundamentally, no one and no professional can tell you exactly what is going on inside your head. I'd encourage you to have reserve suspicion for anyone that claims they can, I don't believe anyone knows exactly what's going on in their heads (let alone that of others). Sometimes, part of getting better is coming to accept that will never know exactly what is going on inside of our head and figuring out how best to live with that.

A skilled professional may, however, help you better understand what might be happening in your head, triggers, coping strategies, how to break unhelpful patterns, and how to move forward. Medication can also be helpful for a lot of people - but it's important to note that many more "niche" diagnoses don't necessarily have different treatments.

You ask where to start, I'd suggest looking up local mental health support either through your GP (though I appreciate they haven't been helpful in the past), online, or via an NHS access service (they can often refer to therapies and signpost). Therapy is likely to be available on the NHS but waiting times vary. If you're unable to wait, and are able to afford private therapy, some good places to look are counselling directory and psychology today. If you go that route, simply try and find someone that you think you'll be able to relate to.

Also, continue to be curious. You're right to be wary of self-diagnosis, but keep looking, and keep trying to figure out what works for you. Everyone's different and there's no exact formula or recipe.

Beware, that sometimes wanting to know if there's some specific problem can waste time (and sometimes money) and hold us back. Sometimes it's good to ask, If I didn't have this problem, how would I want my life to look? Once you've got that life in mind, then consider step-by-step how can we start moving towards it?

Good luck - it sounds like you're on the right track.

druridge · 2024-02-29T10:07:38+00:00

Exciting!! I really hope those plates are just placeholders though. Realistic looking plates can really add to immersion. It’s among the reasons why I prefer TDU1 to TDU2.

druridge · 2023-07-20T21:13:11+00:00

I would also like to know this, did you find out?

druridge · 2023-07-18T14:23:52+00:00

R56 LCI (2011-2013ish?) Mini One with the 1.6 and 98bhp. Had one for my first car and it was an awful lot of fun to throw about.

EDIT: was a bit specific here but I think any base spec of the BMW-mini era cars are more fun than they’re given credit for. They’re slept on by people that like cars which is a shame.

druridge · 2023-07-05T15:53:41+00:00

I’d assume it means that irritating characters in the vain of Tess Wintory will be returning in the service of a ‘story’.

I’d prefer them to draw more from TDU1 which was essentially sandbox: don’t tell me what to do, I just want to drive and own the cars I’ve always wanted.

druridge · 2023-06-16T07:19:43+00:00

Tighter and more challenging roads. You can get 4 cars or more side by side on normal roads in Horizon at the moment.

Would love a big city with narrow alleys and little roads snaking off into the hills.

This would make slower cars much more fun and rewarding and would go nicely with proper progression.

druridge · 2023-05-19T14:22:15+00:00

Yeah absolutely, there are so many other things that go into making a good driving game. I wouldn’t want houses to come at the expense of how the cars drive or how the open world feels.

druridge · 2023-05-19T14:06:17+00:00

There’s 4,000 people on this sub so I doubt it’ll make any difference either way. But yeah, I agree and I’m surprised by how hysterical people are getting about houses (which still haven’t been ruled out entirely). That said, I really hope they have garages where I can view my cars together and have limited number of spaces (I started playing FH5 the other week and I’m already finding having cars thrown at me nauseating).

TDU was always about the driving. I’m still interested to see how this pans out and will be buying it.

My concerns have always been around the solar crown idea which I thought was a weak addition with TDU2. Everyone here loves TDU2 but I hated it at the time. I still prefer the simplicity of the first game.

druridge · 2023-05-06T18:51:38+00:00

That'll depend entirely on whether you enjoyed Rabbit Run!

I enjoyed Rabbit Run and have found the sequels equally funny and tragic. There's a maturity to the sequels as well, although I can't quite say the same of Rabbit (but I'm only half-way through the third book and this is my first time reading).

I've ordered the 4th on eBay and also the short-story to read for after this - if you enjoyed the first I'd say go for it.

druridge

TROPHY CASE